When you’ve been married for a while, you can get pretty tired of the same ole, same ole. Without intentional behaviors, your marriage bliss can quickly fall into a marriage abyss. Well, not to worry. We believe that change is possible in your marriage no matter how far you’ve fallen. It starts with making a decision to be different…to do things differently. If you’re short on ideas, here are 10 things you can do to make a difference in your marriage.

10 Things You Can Do Differently in 2020 to Make a Difference in Your Marriage

In this article:

1. Worship Differently
2. Communicate Differently
3. Date Differently
4. Serve Differently
5. Spend Differently

My husband and I were recently at a restaurant having breakfast and talking about the 18 years we’ve been married. Our server, while she congratulated us on our anniversary, told us about a couple she recently served who’d been married for 61 years. We felt like newbies to the game after hearing that. We couldn’t help but hope we could one day say the same thing. However, we realized that you don’t stay married that long without changing things up every now and again. If you want to make a difference in your marriage, 2020 might be the year to change things up. Here are a few things you can do to achieve relationship longevity.

Worship Differently

• Turn your solo prayers into couple prayer walks – If you and your husband are people of faith, chances are you rely on God through prayer. But, like most couples, you may enjoy going to God individually. This year, try something different. Rather than praying alone in your closet, go on a walk and pray together. It will allow you to open your heart to God and reveal your deepest concerns to your spouse. It’s sure to bring you closer.
• Find a way to minister to others that you both enjoy – A large part of being a person of faith is using whatever gifts you’ve been blessed with to serve others. Romans 12:1 says “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God–this is your true and proper worship.” By serving others together, you, in essence, worship together. And that act of worship can and will do wonders for your marriage.

Communicate Differently

• Listen before you speak –  James 1: 19 is such a relationship maker. “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” No matter how many times I reference this scripture, I can’t help but think of how important it is not only for married couples but relationships in general. In 2020, make a difference in your marriage by giving your spouse an audience of one. Hear their heart and their voice before you open your mouth.
• Season your words just right – No matter what’s going on in your marriage, make a commitment this year to speak with kindness and respect to your spouse. Rather than pepper your spouse with your anger, season them with love. Keep your tone and body language in check in order to help your spouse hear you well.

Date Differently

• Date outside the box – So, what’s the box? It’s doing the same old thing every week which, in some cases, is doing nothing. For instance:
  • Dinner and a movie at the theater
  • Dinner and a movie at home
  • Same club every week…or every date
  • Spades night, Bid Whist night, Poker night…in other words, cards…again

Don’t let the precious time you have with your partner get lost in monotony. Decide to put some thought into your date nights together. With so many inexpensive and discount options out there, it doesn’t have to cost you an arm and a leg either.

• Love inside the box – Okay, I know this title sounds a bit…odd…but, make love to your spouse. I mean, it should be a no brainer, but I realize there are many couples who struggle in this area. While it may take more than just a decision to do so, figure out what you need to do differently in 2020 to change the intimacy level in your marriage.

Serve Differently

• Make a cup of coffee or tea for your spouse in the mornings – Sounds simple right? Well, it is. The point here is that so many times we get too busy to serve our spouse in even the most simple way. This year, make a difference in your marriage by consistently doing something easy. If it’s not a cup of coffee, what works for your marriage? Figure out what that is, then do it.
• Follow through on requests – We’re all busy in our relationships. You and your spouse each have responsibilities that need your attention. But sometimes, you need help. If your spouse asks you to do something and you agree to do it, make sure you get it done. Again, I know it sounds simple. But how many arguments arise because someone forgot to do something? Do what you say you’re going to do and see what a difference it makes in your relationship.

Spend Differently

• Make important financial decisions together – Regardless of who is bringing home the bacon, your financial health affects both of you. When there are decisions to be made, you should each get a vote. If you’re at odds, have a real conversation about the impact of either decision. The numbers won’t lie.
• Make a budget, then live the budget – Budgeting matters whether you have a little bit of money or a lot. But when it comes to making a difference in your marriage, budgeting matters because it can greatly impact your future. As you plan out your life together, finances will come into play for more reason than one. If you create a budget, it will help you give you the financial clarity your relationship needs.

This year, put faith, communication, intimacy, service, money matters at the top of your relationship priority list. But don’t settle for the same ole same ole. Do things differently than you have done them in the past and see what a difference a change makes.

BMWK, what can you do differently in 2020 to make a difference in your marriage?

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