You may not have even known that marriage burnout exists, but it is an unfortunate reality. It is a result of relationship stress and the effect it has on couples varies. Being frustrated when things don’t go our way or having a spouse who can’t properly manage their half of the marriage all contribute. So, when it comes to struggles in marriage, what should you do?
Struggles in Marriage: 5 Ways to Protect Yourself from Marriage Burnout
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Although there are joys that come along with marriage, there are also pains. Spouses sometimes feel overwhelmed, overworked and under-appreciated. It’s easy to get to a place of burnout, but unfortunately, it’s not always as easy to come back. However, it isn’t impossible. Knowing that marriage burnout is a possibility, we can prepare in advance to protect ourselves and our marriage from having such an experience.
Pray that spirit away.
Negative feelings and energy are absolutely no good for us personally or romantically. Ask God to release any thought or action that negatively impacts your relationship.
Discuss your frustrations.
While sharing this with our spouse is ideal, being open about our feelings can be discussed with anyone we truly trust. As long as this person will listen, offer support and be completely honest with us. It’s not healthy to hold on to those kinds of emotions and not release them.
Spend quality time (ALONE).
One of the benefits of marriage is sharing your life with someone, but that can also be one of the disadvantages. Spouses can sometimes get all caught up in marriage and forget about themselves.
Not taking time to love on ourselves, do the things we enjoy and pursue our personal dreams, leaves us with regrets. These regrets are normally taken out on spouse. To avoid unnecessary struggles in marriage, spend a day where you are just you, not a spouse or a parent.
Practice gratitude.
Look for and count the blessings in your life. Healthy family, friends, home and jobs remind us things are never as bad as they could be.
Rest.
We sometimes take on too much and it can contribute to our feeling the burnout. The sooner we realize we are not supermoms, superdads or super spouses, the better off we will be. Sometimes, it’s necessary to let ourselves off the hook. We can’t always do it all. We have to surrender, rest and ask for help. It’s not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of knowing the deepest truth of who we are. We are not superhuman and shouldn’t ever pretend to be.
One thing we must remember is that if we do experience these feelings, there’s nothing to feel guilty about. We’re human and even our marriage is going to feel challenging at times. Protecting yourself is about making sure you’re okay and getting what you need to be successful in marriage.
BMWK – what do you do to protect yourself from marriage burnout? Or, when you have marriage burnout..how are you able to come back from it?
Up Next: 18 Ways to Prevent Falling Out of Love
Editor’s Note – This post was originally published on October 28, 2013, and has been updated for quality and relevancy.
Jessica says
Tiya, I am single and have been engaged but constantly wondered about how to keep it fresh and how to maintain a sense of self in a marriage. The idea of getting married is a little scary and I talk myself out of relationships because if the fear of failure in a marriage. I do know that there are some things I can’t and won’t deal with but your article gave me hop and direction in how to maintain a happy and healthy marriage with a man who’s imperfections are perfect for me. Thanks for the knowledge!
Tiya says
Thank you Jessica for your comment. This is my hope for my articles.
zari says
I am glad to read your article above. It caused me be vindicated about my stance on the issue of marriage burnout. I wasn’t sure what to call it, however, you have and I am grateful. The responsibility of both spouses is forge a personal treasure trove and fill it with things and activities that refresh and recentre them.
I have been encouraging my wife to invest in herself, especially now that our girls are much older and getting somewhat independent. She struggled and is easing into a personal mode of doing things and enjoying them. I motivate her and I believe that if we love deeply as individuals, then we as a couple will flourish more so. Thank for putting a finer point on the subject.
Tiya says
Thank you Zari. I completely agree about filling those treasure troves. We are in need of constant renewal and refreshing. I couldn’t have said it any better.