“I did it my way!” This is a line from a well known and well covered Frank Sinatra song “My Way.” The lyrics to the song feed into this idea that a life well lived is one where I call all the shots and, regardless of regrets, it couldn’t have been better because well, “I did it my way!”
Sadly, many people buy into this mentality. In many aspects of life, we refuse to seek counsel, professional help, or spiritual guidance because we want to do things our own way. Unfortunately, the way many people handle dating relationships is no different. In Proverbs 15:22 (NIV), the Bible tells us that “plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.” I love this scripture, but I must add a qualifier. When it comes to dating, who are your advisers? Is it your girl who is in and out of a relationship every six months? Is it your co-worker whose marriage is on the rocks? Or, is it your own best thinking…you know, the kind that tells you it’s okay to date a married man?
Relationships done God’s way are not watered down or hyped up.
So many men and women sell themselves short and never find love because they get bad advice or none at all. Then, when a spiritual friend suggests seeking guidance from God to find real love, they dismiss the idea as old-fashioned and not for them. And, like a hamster on a wheel, they go round and round. They might end up with someone but is that someone the best person for them?
Dating relationships done God’s way are not easy. They carry a standard few people are willing to abide by but those who do come out happy and fulfilled on the other side. So what does a dating relationship done God’s way look like?
Relationships done God’s way are not watered down or hyped up. They develop under a set of rules, yes, I said rules, that breathe lifetime possibility into the union from the very beginning. Many people claim they don’t like rules, yet, whether it’s theirs or someone else’s, they live under the ones they choose to embrace. God’s rules aren’t for the weak. If you are interested in a dating relationship done God’s way, you better have some chutzpah. The kind of lifetime love you get with His standards will be more than you can ever ask or imagine.
Built on rock, not on sand
So many relationships these days seem like they’ve just washed up off the shore of some beach somewhere. They are so full of sand that nothing solid could ever come out of them. Relationships done God’s way are built on a solid foundation of Jesus first. When a potential mate walks into your life, ask God what He thinks. Then take the time to look out for His answer. Rose colored glasses are a nifty accessory, but they do very little to help when you’re looking for a mate. Take those glasses off and really get to know the person. you are interested in
- How are they around other people?
- How are they with family?
- What’s their language like?
- How have they been treating you since you’ve met?
- What happened in their last relationship?
- When was their last relationship?
- Do they go to church?
- Do they read their Bible?
- Do they keep their hands to themselves?
- Do they sound like a Christian but don’t live like one?
- What are the things they talk about the most?
There are so many questions that need asking that go beyond favorite color and flavor of ice cream. Are those relevant as well? Heck, Yeah! But they do little to help you determine whether or not you’ll be in a meaningful relationship with the person you’re with. Take time to get to know them so you can ensure the relationship is rock solid.
Sex is off the table until the wedding night
Nothing weeds out a man or woman in pursuit faster than you telling them you won’t be giving it up until after you are married. Given the society we live in, I actually debated whether or not I would include this standard in this article. But, I can’t half step on this issue. Look, if you want to have sex before marriage, cool. But don’t then claim you are following God’s standards in the process. It is hypocritical. And before you say that I can’t judge people, blah, blah, blah, I already told you God’s standards are not for the weak. Ephesians 5:3-5 will back me up on this.
You see, excuses are aplenty when we want what we want. So, rather than walk down the wide road, explore the road less traveled. We all know our weaknesses when it comes to sex. We know the words, the looks, the touch, and the environment that heats us up.
If we want to do things God’s way, then, like a recovering alcoholic, we should stay out of the bar. If you find yourself in a place that pushes all of your sexual buttons, GET OUT! And remember this: “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV
There is so much more that can be said about dating the way God intended. His plan for dating relationships is a plan that involves the 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love. Begin by giving up the “I did it my way” philosophy and allow God’s way to take over. You’ll be glad you did.
BMWK, are you ready to do dating relationships God’s way?