by Tara Pringle Jefferson
I do NOT, I repeat, do NOT want to be a frumpy mom. I just”...won’t. Tiya’s post about “Can a Mommy Wear That?” got me thinking about how much I’ve changed my wardrobe since becoming a mom. I threw out my mini-skirts, bought a ton of shirts that covered my chest completely, and traded my pumps for ballet flats. I clearly went too far to the right and need to make some adjustments back in the direction I used to be.
I’ve declared this summer as the Summer of Sexy. Not “Cute,” not “Pretty,” but “Sexy.” I’m kicking the F.R.U.M.P to the curb.
How do you know if you’ve stuck (or headed toward) Frumpyville? Break it down:
F – Frustrating. When it’s frustrating to get dressed, it’s time to stop and take a breath.
R – Repeating outfits. When you’ve only got two or three “good” outfits and they are really, um, not that good, it’s time to reevaluate.
U – Ugly. Your clothes are ugly and you know it.
M – Messy. Are your clothes wrinkled? Is there a stain on your favorite shirt but you wear it anyway?
P – Personality. You don’t feel like “you” when you get dressed in the morning, like you’re wearing someone else’s clothes.
I know I’ve found myself in at least one of these patterns (particularly the last one) for the past couple of years. Fashion just wasn’t high on my priority list. Money was tight, and even if I have a couple of bucks left over, I usually end up buying something for the house or the kids. I spent a good chunk of the last three years raising kids and putting them first.
But now my youngest is turning two and so I think it is the perfect time to step my game up. So how am I going to kick off my Summer of Sexy and how can you?
1. If you don’t feel sexy, fake it. No matter how frumpy the mom, there has got be ONE item in your closet that makes you feel hot. I’m dusting off my stilettos and adding a couple inches in height this summer. Watch out!
2. Find another mom who is allergic to frump and make it a point to hang out with her. When you hang with a mom who knows how to keep everything moving and still make time for herself, it rubs off. It makes you want to do better, to look better.
3. Purge, purge, purge. Go through your wardrobe and toss everything that doesn’t fit right, is stained, has a hole, is too old, is cheap-looking and not in good condition, etc. Put it in a separate box. Get it out of your wardrobe. Only wear what REALLY works.
4. Be picky. If you’re like me, you probably like finding bargains. I like bargains too much, however, because if I find a cute shirt on sale for $4, I will buy it, no matter how ill-fitting it is. This.has.to.stop. Try on everything you buy and if it doesn’t fit don’t buy it. This means you’ll have to stop shopping online, unless you are EXTREMELY familiar with their sizing. Only buy clothes that make you feel fabulous, not just because you got it for a steal.
So these are my tips, ladies. What are yours? How do you keep it sexy while being a mom? Fellas – let’s hear your views. How do you like your wife to look?
Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer and blogger living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, ww.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.
Great tips!! I love it! I have made it my goal in life to help mommies fight the F.R.U.M.P. Keep up the good work Tara! :0)
My tip is to wear nice underwear and bras. For me even the sexiest outfit will feel unsexy if I have on granny underwear and a nursing bra under it.
Great post Tara. I don’t feel like you should have to wear “mommy” clothes. I think about how I want to look and feel as a woman. I don’t think that I would dress like a hoochie whether I had kids or not. That being said, I feel like thinking “what would a mom wear” sometimes heightens the frump factor. Thinking about what makes me feel sexy, what looks good on my body and is age appropriate and appropriate for the situation helps me to feel better. My husband doesn’t want everything hanging out, but I know he doesn’t want me walking around in mom jeans.
I have three kids and I refused from the very beginning to be one of “those” moms. Yes I am a soccer mom, but only wear my mom shirt to the games lol.
I just really enjoy looking nice.
I think moms should dress in a way that makes them comfy, just try and do it without being “frumpy”.
Instead of a tshirt and jeans, how about a cut tank, cute accessories, jeans and a cute little summer shoe? Just the change from a tshirt to a tank and the addition of some accessories is already a step in the right direction.
In addition to comfort, I try to pay attention to the cut and fit of clothes. (I admit that I watch What Not To Wear on TLC for help in this area). And I also avoid those awful high waisted MOM jeans/pants, pastels, and anything with flowers (And I mean those flower outfits that look like curtains).
I fell into the frumpy Mom hole and my husband checked me on it .. i was refered to as homely…. What a wake up call (he also gave me some money to go shopping). Since then i have vowed not to go into that hole again. What we Mommies have to understand is that once the kids are gone its you and hubby, and you were not frumpy when you first caught his eye and ya wanna keep that eye on you. There is a way to be conservatively (yep new word) sexy. Hair, make up, shoes, clothes should make you feel like, yep i know i look good, and you don’t have to show all of your goodies. So mommies, adjust that attitude, get out of that hole, toss out the t-shirt that chokes your neck, the jeans that come up to the base of your bra and those tennis shoes with the stains from —– who know’s on them. Re-embrace you and let your sunshine
You know what else I had to learn? It takes just as much energy to put on a cute dress as it does to throw on sweats. You have to get dressed – why not make it cute?
Dresses are my go-to item in the summer because it’s one piece, throw on some cute sandals and I’m good to go. Almost zero effort to look good. You can’t beat that. I don’t have to spend 20 minutes in the mirror pulling together an outfit. Off the hanger and done! BAM! LOL.
.-= Tara @ The Young Mommy Life´s last blog ..Remember: Dont Dwell on Your Mistakes =-.
The new item I’m adding is dresses. They’re easy and are already a complete outfit, all you have to do is accessorize and I can still feel sexy in the dress. Also, when you are ready to purge, purge, purge a good idea in helping you get rid of some stuff is to hold a “ladies’ night auction” My friends do this once a year. We get together and bring our gently used clothing, shoes and household items and auction them off to each other (for little of nothing cost). It’s a good time and you’ll be surprised by how many of your friends may want the somethings you no longer need.
tiya and tara i am adding dresses to my wardrobe this summer as well. there are so many cute ones and so many ways to wear them. i never feel like i look frumpy no matter what i wear. i am nursing my baby and i wear nursing bras and when my husband sees it he goes crazy that blah blah blah blah is right there and easily accessible. or sometimes i go without, anything but only when i am with my hubby. i feel sexy no matter what. i wont lie though i am scared of mini skirts cause if you fall all your business will be on blast. so i wear skirt to my knees and below.
Yes ladies!!! I had to kick the Frumpy look to the curb about a year ago! At first I was in my “OMG I have a newborn and a 1 year old! I’m lucky to be wearing a bra!” LMBO!!! Now that the boys are in a routine and much older, I am def in my sexy sexy sexy momma phase. I still have the flats but instead of plain sneakers, I buy bright colored converses and deck shoes. Also sunglasses and big handbags set an outfit off nicely. Check out Marley Simone on Facebook for the 10 things women need in a wardobe. The list is simple but makes a big difference. Also being a jewelry designer, I make unique pieces to bring an extra pop to any outfit I wear. OR I pair a simple pair of leggings or skinny jeans with a tie dye shirt (that I make also). Check out some of my styles on FB: Wisdom’s Work by Donielle Michele and Naturally Creative by Donielle Michele. It’s all about being creative with what you have and making smart versatile purchases. Great article Tara!!!
.-= Donielle Michele´s last blog ..I Heart You Necklace =-.
Great article, Tara! I almost fell into the FRUMP, but I’ve been fighting like a fiend to keep from going threre. LOL