by R.A. Boyd,

I’m going to tell you a secret.  After five years of marriage and seventeen years of knowing my husband and his family, this year’s Thanksgiving was the first time I felt comfortable going to my in-laws without my husband there by my side.  Yes.  That’s the big secret.  It may not sound like a deal but, I’m sure a few of you understand. 

The Apostolic faith has always been very present in my husband’s family.  I grew up going to church on holidays and found a Baptist church-home when I turned twenty-two.  When visiting his family, comments were made about why I didn’t wear dresses or why I chose to get a tattoo.  I always felt as if everyone was looking at me, judging me.  I’m pretty sure it was just me isolating myself.  At least I hope it was just me.  Going to visit them alone was always difficult for me when he worked nights.  I’d go in, let everyone see me for a few minutes and then quietly leave through the back door.  My presence had been felt.  I had said my hellos.  I ate a plate of food and took a slice of Grandma’s Famous Apple-Peach Cobbler with me.  Mission accomplished.

I can’t do that now.  My husband and I have a daughter and everyone wants to see her.  Maybe that’s what makes it less stressful.  No one is looking at me anymore.  They are looking at our wonderful daughter, saying she looks like my mother and has her father’s eyes.  They are watching her play with the other children and notice how she looks taller than she did a few weeks ago.  And she loves it, most of the time.  For the first few minutes, she hangs around my legs looking at people as if she’s never seen them before.  Then she loosens up and starts running behind chairs and snatching things off of tables or shelves accessible to her.  When the other children come around, she smiles and hugs and chases them around.  And now, I’m looking at her too.  Their eyes aren’t on me anymore.  They’re watching my daughter grow into this wonderful person who blows kisses and gives hugs to, almost, everyone.

Now, it doesn’t matter if I’ve been inducted into the family by way of our daughter or if they can finally tell that I am who I am and am not willing to change.  They look at our daughter, an extension of both of our families, with fascination and adoration.  And I don’t mind them watching her.  I love that they can see her grow and learn and play.  I still get invited to church and am told how I look much prettier with my hair down and with a dress on.  But most importantly, they love having our daughter visit and show her nothing but praise and love.

BMWK – what did it take for you to bridge the gap with your in-laws? 

R.A. Boyd is a writer, and reader, of paranormal fiction, horror and urban fantasy. She lives in Maryland with her husband, daughter and her massive collection of books. Seriously. Her books have their own room.  You can find her at raboyd.com, on Facebook at www.facebook.com/RABoydwriter and follow her on Twitter @ra_boyd.