I will be married for two years in the next couple of months. Granted, we’re still new to marriage, but I have to say that my husband and I have grown and grown up so much in our marriage. I love our marriage and over the last two years have noticed that these were some of the elements that have strengthened it.
My husband says that I am a two-year old. He thinks that he is three. We play and we laugh every day about something that happened on his job, on my job, in our family foolishness, or from the Internet. Laughter makes memories and it makes time fly by. On top of that, when things get serious, as they always will, laughter can be a healthy way to cope with life’s uncertainties and stress.
My husband and I had to learn this the hard way. With two strong, sensitive personalities, our fights would last longer than they needed to. After months of ups and downs, we came to the conclusion that every topic, concern, or insight did not hold the same weight. And consequently, did not need to be unpacked, discussed, or analyzed. We also learned that wanting to be right is stupid in a relationship if you look at your marriage as a partnership. If one person loses, then you both lose. Understanding this has decreased the number of our tiffs and how long they last.
As a couple, we have always been good at creating long-term goals and meeting them. And even in our individual goals, we have been able to support one another gain momentum, build confidence, and set up systems and structures that allow us to attend to our personal passions and keep our relationship a priority.
Love can be found in those small acts of compassion, tenderness, and kindness that you do for your spouse because you want to with no expectations. (The other day, I took my husband’s shoes off for him and brought him a glass of water. The way he responded, you would have thought that I rented a blimp, released two dozen white doves, and had a full orchestra playing.) And love goes hand-in-hand with our next ‘l’….Lust!
And lust… lust, lust, lust is the deep desire that you have and show to your spouse to let them know that you not only care or and respect them, but that you also want them. Together, love and lust provide the comfort and stability that makes a relationship strong and the excitement and thrill that makes it fun, light, and forever new.
BMWK Family—What are the other “L’s” that we need to make our marriages forever happy and strong?