Unfortunately, a large number of couples have difficulty communicating effectively. Some have given up communicating altogether and live silently within their marriage.
It must feel quite awkward to share a home, perhaps have a family and not speak to the person you were once crazy about. Life happens, feelings change, emotions surface and a couple’s communication usually pays the price.
I remember those days, early in my marriage, when my husband and I had challenges with our own communication. Basically, we didn’t quite understand how to disagree. I felt as though my thoughts, opinion and feelings trumped his. From my perspective, I should have been the priority to the both of us. That’s some behavior for a wife, huh?
Marriage simply doesn’t work like that. Communication is essential and both partner’s voice matters. The truth is poor communication can be fixed.
If the communication has died in your relationship, be encouraged. Here are five ways to bring it back to life.
Discuss the relationship problems, internally first.
Have the conversation with yourself prior to bringing up the challenges to your partner. Determine what needs to be said, how to actually say it and the desired result. Consider the goal you’d like to achieve and move in the direction of that goal.
Approach your spouse gently and apologetically.
It really doesn’t matter who kicks off the conversation or who even apologizes first. If it needs to be done, someone has to do it. Why can’t it be you? There is usually always something both partners can seek forgiveness for anyway, so own yours and jumpstart the conversation.
Be willing to forgive.
Forgive even when your partner’s apology isn’t delivered exactly as you would have liked. Some of the biggest difficulties in couples’ communication is thinking that both partners have to behave or communicate exactly the same. They don’t, and it’s okay.
Think about the future of your relationship.
What would a future actually look like for a couple who just can’t seem to talk to one another? Not very promising for sure. Communication is the key to everything in a relationship. It has to be mended when it’s broken. It may require both partners getting out of their feelings and taking action. Sometimes couples have to get out of the “right now” thinking and consider what the future holds when poor communication continues. It’s important that couples find ways to overcome their individual challenges in order to have healthy communication with their partner in the future.
Stop keeping count of who’s right and wrong.
So what if you apologized first last time. Neither partner should be keeping score. This one usually is the biggest reason that healing the broken communication can seem so awkward. Couples can be so focused on winning individually that they’re losing as a couple. The goal for both should be creating and maintaining a healthy and loving relationship.
Again, communication is everything in a relationship. When it’s misused or not used enough, everything else suffers. Relationships take some maturity and personal ownership.
We must be honest and take action when we clearly see the impact that the lack of communication is having on the relationship. Both partners should be willing to step up and be the bigger person. Does it really matter who breaks the silence? It’s more awkward not to communicate, than it is to communicate.
BMWK, what are some things you’ve tried to improve the communication in your relationship?
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