There are many elements of a healthy marriage. Some of them are unique to your specific relationship. However, forgiveness is one of those things that is a part of every healthy marriage. As spouses, each of you does things on a daily basis that can offend the other person. Husbands – a harsh word that feels unnecessary. Wives – a sharp short answer that could have been expressed differently. These two examples may not be your shortcoming, but take a look at your life, at your marriage. You, like the rest of us have shortcomings. Those shortcomings can lead to offense on either side and in that there is much room for forgiveness.
Without forgiveness hearts will become hard and offense will come more easily. That little thing you thought was cute when you first got married will begin to get on your nerves at the drop of a hat. This can lead to a rough married life.
Mountains Out of Mole Hills
Forgiveness doesn’t have to be hard. It’s a decision you make. The road it takes to get to forgiveness that may take a while. Search your heart and forgive as soon as possible. Don’t let stuff linger; get it right. My mom and maybe your mom too, had a saying,
Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill.
Well, that’s what happens when unforgiveness sets in. Little things that go unresolved, like not taking out the trash are mole hills. Left unattended, they grow and before you know it you have a mountain.
Before You Get Offended
Forgiveness is necessary when you have been offended, no matter how great or small the offense. However, here is a thought – before getting to the place of offense, begin to overlook some of that stuff that really doesn’t matter when you look at the big picture. You see, an offense doesn’t have to be accepted. Offenses will come your way every day, but you can begin to send the offense packing. You don’t have to accept an offense that does not belong to you. Being offended does not feel good.
Refuse to let simple things rock your boat.
Yes, there are truly some things that should not be overlooked. You tell your truth; you know what should be overlooked and what needs to be forgiven in your marriage. For the health of your marriage take an honest look at where forgiveness needs to be exercised. It doesn’t mean you will forget the offense, but forgiveness will allow the wounds of offense to begin healing.
Forgiveness is something we all need and something we can all extend. It’s an element needed for a healthy marriage. Let it be a part of yours.
BMWK – Are there areas you need to let go of some things? Are you willing to let go of the small stuff and allow forgiveness to do its job?
J says
Thanks for this article. Presently, I have some resentment towards my husband. He doesn’t help with the house chores. I’m left to manage the home with 2 kids and a tasking job. Day by day, I see my resentment growing and I get angry he’s not even showing concern. He’s a great man but right now, I need a concerned man.I’m too pissed off to talk to him about his lack of care. What do I do?
Deborah says
J, I understand where you are coming from. Sometimes what seems to matter a great deal to us is not such a great deal to our spouse and vice versa. It will take a coming together of the two of you in an effort to support the other person. Try to let the anger go in an effort to find a solution. When you are calm about the situation try talking to him and have a few suggested solutions like let’s clean up together, hire a housekeeper, or we may have to get use to the the house not being perfectly clean. Ask if he has a suggestion.
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