Dear Dr. Buckingham, I have been married for 21 years. My husband had two affairs early in our marriage that resulted in 2 love children by different women. I decided to stay for our 3 children. My husband has to pay support for these children and I had a lot of anger about having to struggle. I had to be the one who always worked multiple jobs so that my 3 kids did not … [Read more...]
3 Reasons Why Forgiveness in Your Marriage is a MUST
You’ve been in your relationship for years, and although you’ve made mistakes, you believe they are pretty minor compared to the devastating mistakes you’ve accepted from your spouse. Maybe she cheated on you. Maybe he squandered away a huge chunk of your savings. Or maybe, it’s a long list of smaller issues that have you realizing this relationship is not what you … [Read more...]
6 Ways to Apologize if You’re Not Good at Apologies
You aren't perfect. And neither is anyone else for that matter. As humans we do things out of emotion, from our hearts and not necessarily our minds. The funny thing is, we do that pretty often... make mistakes that is. Sometimes your own "stinking thinking" causes you to disappoint your spouse. And other times you just don't know the right things to do in certain situations. … [Read more...]
Free Couples Webinar: Picking up the Pieces: How to Forgive Your Spouse When the Trust Has Been Broken
You always hear people say that the first step towards healing in your marriage is forgiveness. But that's not always an easy step to take when you've been betrayed. And how come you still feel so bad even after you have forgiven. This is often how people feel, when the one person that they have trusted with their heart has hurt them. If you're having problems getting … [Read more...]
Replace the Bitter With the Sweet: 6 Steps to Letting Go of Bitterness In Your Marriage
Recently, a coworker talked to me about a relative who is bitter about the fact that her life didn’t unfold as planned. Her relative’s anger has driven her to ruin her relationships with her family. Over the years, she has lost most of her friends. For those few who still remain loyal to her, she has nothing but harsh words. In fact, she has never stopped being angry after her … [Read more...]
Can a Troubled Marriage Survive Without Forgiveness?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, My wife and I have known each other for 5 years before we were married and we've been married for 4 years. We have 3 beautiful children and I have one from a separate relationship. In the past before we were married I was unfaithful and did some things to this day that I am not proud of. Since we have been married, I have been faithful to her but the past … [Read more...]
My Journey Continues: How I’m Continuing to Heal from Divorce
I wrote about my marriage and divorce journey in my first book "It's My Life and I Live Here: One Woman's Story". I lost many things, and I left the marital home with a bitter, broken heart and a two-year old. Over the years I found ways to heal from the pain of betrayal and disappointment. Here are some of what I did to continue my journey to healing. 1. I made a conscious … [Read more...]
How to Recover from Mistakes You’ve Made in Your Marriage
Have you ever lied, used your words inappropriately, or did something to your spouse you now deeply regret? We’ve all been there at some point, where a decision we made was more self-serving than it was beneficial to the relationship. Watching a spouse deal with and process that hurt is heartbreaking for anyone who truly cares about the person they're involved with. The natural … [Read more...]
How Not to Be Offended By Every Little Thing Your Spouse Does
There are many elements of a healthy marriage. Some of them are unique to your specific relationship. However, forgiveness is one of those things that is a part of every healthy marriage. As spouses, each of you does things on a daily basis that can offend the other person. Husbands - a harsh word that feels unnecessary. Wives – a sharp short answer that could have been … [Read more...]
When It Comes to Our Spouses, Why is Forgiveness So Hard
"Ain't asking for forgiveness for my sins..." - Jay Z I wonder, how many of us are asking for forgiveness from our sins? Not only asking for forgiveness from God for things we've done, but asking for forgiveness from our spouses if we've wronged them. Webster defines forgiveness as "to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt." Did ya'll … [Read more...]
The Pain Was Unbearable; My Journey to Healing after Divorce
by Michelle G Cameron I started on a new journey almost 8 years ago. I remember my nervousness as I packed my things and those of my son and made a quick exit on a rainy fall night. I was nervous because it seemed crazy to those who were outsiders looking in that I would leave what seemed like a perfect situation. But those who lived inside knew that it was only a facade. … [Read more...]