I speak about forgiveness from a Godly perspective because forgiveness is a matter of the heart. Keep in mind that unforgiveness is a negative emotion that handicaps us. In order to be released from this bondage, we have to heal our heart. With this in mind, I highly recommend that you and your wife seek spiritual counseling.

I have found that individuals who combine professional counseling and spiritual guidance are more capable of developing healthy coping skills and approach relationship conflict with balanced perspectives. Through a combination of marital and spiritual guidance, your wife and you can acquire knowledge that will enhance you all’s ability to thrive in your marriage.

Acquiring knowledge through marital guidance and then combining it with spiritual guidance will position your wife to become the whole person that God wants her to be. I believe that it is important to seek marital guidance to learn effective coping skills and receive spiritual guidance to learn and understand what God instructs you to do to sustain unconditional love in your marriage. Think of marital guidance as the mechanism that provides the coping skills you need to apply the knowledge you learn through spiritual guidance. Relationships are difficult to sustain without God’s presence and without effective interpersonal and communication skills. If you have concerns about your wife having an emotional affair, assertively express your concerns before your assumptions and worrying builds up and causes you to act irrationally.

Until you learn to achieve balance in your marriage, you will continue to experience unnecessary hardship. Marriage can be difficult at times and sustaining it can be challenging, but the Word teaches us to: “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6). Strive to connect with your wife spiritually, then emotional and physical intimacy will come. Remember that the heart represents our soul. Work to nurture your spirituality, but remember to develop effective coping skills along the way.

Best regards,

Dr. Buckingham

BMWK, What do you think this husband should do?

If you have questions for Dr. Dwayne Buckingham regarding relationships (married, single, etc), parenting, or personal growth and development, please send an email to [email protected]

Disclaimer: The ideas, opinions and recommendations contained in this post are not intended as a substitute for seeking professional counseling or guidance. Any concerns or questions that you have about relationships or any other source of potential distress should be discussed with a professional, in person. The author is not liable or responsible for any personal or relational distress, loss or damage allegedly arising from any information or recommendations in this post.