by Latoya Irving
In my previous article we discussed the order of the house regarding God, spouse and children. Now let’s look at the roles of the husband and wife so we can understand why spouse comes before children. This is a spiritual look, not to be confused with the physical everyday needs of spouse and kids.
This may be a controversial topic, as it was hard for me; I had to ask God for some clarification. I even tried to reason how this couldn’t be right, but if it’s in the Bible, the Father must have wanted us to follow it. I consulted Ephesians 5:22-33. Please read it before, while or immediately after reading this article.
Ladies, in verse 22 the Word says we have to submit (offer ourselves) to our husbands as to the Lord. The husband is the head of the wife; I don’t believe it means we are as children to them. Again, this is a spiritual thing. Our responsibility is to respect (value) our husbands. We have to learn to acknowledge their role in the marriage and home. We won’t always agree on their choices, but we have a secret weapon called prayer. Pray that they make wise decisions and hear from God.
Guys, you are to love your wives as Christ loved the church. Christ gave himself for the church. So husbands you are spiritual leaders in the home. Husbands, you are to love your wives like you love yourself. You are to nourish (encourage) and cherish (treasure) your bride. Husbands, if you mistreat your wife, you mistreat yourself. She is a gift from God. The Bible says in Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord. If you feel you need to mistreat your wife, or that she is an object for your amusement, I suggest you study the 5th chapter of Ephesians. You are spiritually responsible for us. The word says in verses 26 and 27:
that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
Verse 32 goes on to say the man and his wife will be joined together and become ONE flesh. That’s why spiritually our kids come after our spouse. The last verse reiterates that husbands are to love their wives as they love themselves and wives are to respect their husbands.
Finally, I pray the roles you play in your marriage will receive a spiritual Oscar from God. If you feel your performance is lacking, study your script (The Word of God).
LaToya Irving is a wife, mother and former Air Force brat.
KSS says
This is a great article. When I got married I let me single, independent (I don’t really need a man) mentality pollute my marriage and it cause great problems between my husband and I. I controlled everything and made most of the descisions. My husband didn’t feel necessary or needed. It wasn’t until I got in the word of God and really started to understand my role as a wife that I saw the intention God had for married people and my marriage became a lot more pleaseant. Proverbs 31 really opened my eyes. I tell my husband that he’s the CEO and I’m the COO of our family. (He’s the face of the company, but I’m still running things behind the scene) *wink
Joe says
hmmm God is only the face… and church is really running things… wink wink
cece says
I enjoyed reading this article. As a wife, it is important for me to recognize that “submit” to my husband does not mean he can trample over me. We both have mutual respect for each other. I understand that in a marriage there has to be alot of self sacrifice which requires patience. Being a wife is different…but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love my husband and I truly thank God for him.
Meagan Miller53 says
I really enjoyed reading this article. My eyes are open to the beginning of what submission is, the revelation of one flesh and how it applies to placing your husband before children will defintely help me progress to becoming a better wife and mother. Thank you so much
Irving457 says
I’m glad you all enjoyed the article. If you have any questions or suggestions, let me know. Megan, I will pray that you become the wife and mother God wants you to be. That is the prayer that I pray for myself.
Lawandaweldon says
Oh I thank you. I have just read this text last night and will take a course at my church on this very area. I admit that i have so much more to learn. Being an independent woman and self sufficient my entire adult life it is rather difficult to allow the husband to make decisions on areas he does not appear to have as much knowledge or wisdom without me cringing. I am so thankful to God for receiving such good Word tip reminders like this. We ought to pray for one another!
VYoung says
I’m in the same boat, Lawandaweldon, an independent woman learning to be interdependent. But I don’t think the Bible means you should blindly let the husband make all decisions, especially if it’s a matter in which you have more expertise. For example, my husband will NOT make investment decisions. He is a lawyer, and I have an MBA in finance…. only makes sense to let me make those choices because I actually know what I’m doing. If anything, decisions should be made together. I agree that submitting (or, rather, respecting) is important, but we, especially as women, can’t let ourselves get into bad situations because we’re trying so hard to be holy.
LaToya says
I agree. Husbands and wives have different things they are good at. If the wife is better at paying bills, she should do it. God doesn’t want the women to be servants to their husbands, the article is looking at the spiritual roles, not the physical roles.