Marriage has difficulties that can be overcome. Couples face different challenges depending on their personalities. Many marriages share the same common issues that, with the right attitude, can be eliminated. Let’s discuss the top three concerns affecting marriages, money, sex and communication.
First money is a huge issue affecting marriage. The problem does not have to be not having enough money. There may be one or both partners, who spend too much, not enough, or that hide or lie about money. Create a budget and stick to it. It helps to create financial goals to help save. If you feel your spouse is cheap especially when it comes to birthdays, anniversaries and holidays, create a special budget for that occasion and agree on a set amount to spend on each other. Don’t lie about how much money you have or how much you’ve spent. Money is a part of marriage that should be dealt with in an honest way.
The second issue is sex. In most marriages, men feel they are not getting enough and women think their husbands are indeed getting enough. Sex is a topic you must come to some sort of agreement on. Ladies, if you are too tired for sex share that with your husbands. Guys, help your wife around the house and with the kids so she will have the energy for sex. If chores and kids are not the problem, talk to each other about what may cause the lack of desire. Also, never use sex to manipulate each other. Ladies, don’t withhold it to punish your husband. Guys don’t give your wife the cold shoulder or mistreat her because she does not feel like having sex. That behavior is not going to make her want to have sex. Instead, talk to each other or a therapist if that is necessary.
Next, communication is an ongoing issue in marriage. One partner may talk too much and one may not talk enough. My philosophy is bringing the problem to your spouse when it first comes up. Don’t wait or dismiss it. Trust me, if it bothers you the first time, it will always bother you. Approach your spouse in a respectful way and don’t be accusatory. Tell your spouse what the problem is and why it bothers you, give them a chance to speak and listen. Another problem is not talking enough. If your spouse questions you about your feelings or shares something that bothers him/her, address it. Nothing can be resolved without communication.
Out of the three issues affecting marriages, communication is the most important. Without actively talking and listening to each other, not much will get resolved in the marriage. No one is a mind reader so the only way your spouse will know your feelings concerning money, sex and communication is to communicate. What issues are affecting your marriage?