When I said “I do” I was 21 years old. My husband was 26. We were college sweethearts, meeting on my very first day of freshman year and his very first day of graduate school, and tying the knot roughly one month after I graduated.
I knew from the get-go that our relationship was something special and we started talking about marriage during my sophomore year. We decided to wait until after I completed my bachelor’s degree to have our wedding.
For a lot of people, our rush to the altar didn’t make sense. But it didn’t have to make sense to anyone but us. We felt a certain way about each other and that was tantamount in the decision to become husband and wife.
Singer and actress Miley Cyrus (you know, Hannah Montana) made headlines last week when the 19-year-old announced her engagement to her boyfriend of three years, Liam Hemsworth. Predictably, people were counting down the days until we’d be reading about Miley’s divorce.
I think it’s a bit unfair. Yes, getting married young is viewed negatively in our society and being a celebrity has it’s own headaches that are only compounded when you get married. But what happened to growing together? What happened to building together? What happening to planning a life together, versus building your own and trying to piece it together once you’re in your 30s or 40s?
I don’t think there’s any “right” time to get married””it depends on the couple. In Miley’s case, she may be 19 and her fiance 22, but she has been working and building a career for the past five years. She’s seen the world and what it has to offer – is a marriage going to change that?
I found the biggest challenge to getting married in my early 20s was probably the biggest challenge in any marriage, no matter what age you are: figuring out how our marriage was going to work and what our respective roles would be. Once we figured that out (and it’s still a work in progress), it became easier to communicate, easier to depend on each other and easier to feel like we had the space to breathe and grow.
What do you think? Is the average 19-year-old too young to think about getting married?
As a newlyweds, 9 months to be exact, my groom and I discuss if we married too early. He, 25, and I, 24, had been dating since high school and felt that our relationship couldn’t thrive without the covenant of marriage. In relation to the article, we knew we wanted to build a life together and not get settled in our own ways as we grew up. So far, its working out well!!
My opinion is, it all depends on the person. Some 19 year olds are more mature than others. I’ve seen young people get married and questioned it, simply because I see that they are not ready; they are still immature. Myself at 19, 21 was fairly mature, but I would not have married so early. I just wanted to enjoy life. Well, now that I am older, I still have the “alone” mindset. So, it is just person, personality based.
I think it depends on the people. I don’t believe the average 19 year old is ready for marrriage but I don’t think that applies to her. She has done a lot in her life already and I’m sure some of it has matured her. I knew I didn’t want to get married early because I think my parents made that mistake. All in all if they love each other, cause love conquers all, I don’t see the problem. I agree once you get married you have to do work to make it work so of they know that and do that they’ll be fine. May God bless their union!
Keeley @ My Life on a Plate says
My husband and I were both 24 when we got married. We had dated for nearly 7 years and we felt ready, especially after doing Christian counseling prior to our marriage. We’re 32 and 31 today and we’re doing very well. We are having our first child this year and we’ve been able to build a life together and grow into adulthood. I think this is because we agreed on so many things at a young age (educational goals, financial goals, children, etc.). Both of our parents are divorced, so we thought long and hard before committing to marriage.
19 is young. But, I have a cousin who got married at 19 and just celebrated 14 years of marriage. It can work.
Briana Myricks says
I got married at 20, and my husband was 20 also. We’re both 21. I think it depends on the couple. Most of our friends who are our age and dating, we don’t necessarily see them being ready for marriage, but that’s because the problems they’re experiencing now, we experienced when we first started dating. Everyone’s relationship moves at different speeds. We were ready to get married, despite what people thought about us being too young. I think Miley is mature for her age and has experienced a lot. I pray they have a blessed union.
I honestly feel that 19 is too young too get married in this day and age. Too many young adults are just not ready and/or mature enough for the everyday conflicts and issues that come with a young marriage. My first marriage was at age 17 and I thought I was ready, but I was not.
I really can’t say an average 19 is ready for marriage and i also can’t say otherwise cos there are different view to it. Of a true our society will object to it but the very first thing to note is dat MARRIAGE IS A LIFE TIME AGREEMENT and more ova it a sch u neva graduate from.a lady might not fully understand a man, he continue to grow and bring out new behaviours.
1. Is the 19 matured enough
2. What challenges has he or she faced in life in time past
3. How patient is him or her
4. What is the level of her temperament
5. How well can she adapt to various situation of life
6. How is she respond to the problem of life( her mode of approach to a particular problem)
These are few thing that must be noted cos a 32yrs old man or lady might not even know all this. As for me if a 19 will successfully graduate from those things, then off she flies to her husband’s house.
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