Okay, I have to start off by being transparent. When I first heard the term “domestic sexy“, my mind immediately went to the wife (my wife in particular) dressed in a French maid outfit cleaning the house, and…you fill in the blank. I know, I know, I should be ashamed! (I said I was starting off transparent!)
As my mind came back from the gutter, I discovered the phrase “domestic sexy” had nothing to do with my wife or anybody’s wife housecleaning. But it had everything to do with me, and all the other husbands out there.
I was sleeping on “domestic sexy“!
What I also discovered is when we are domestic sexy as a husband we can have the same effect on our wives as the effect I had in my mental trip to the gutter. An effect that can stimulate, excite, and energize our marriages. So you might be thinking what exactly is domestic sexy, and why do I need to be concerned with being domestic sexy?
Throughout my 11-year marriage, I’ve done my best to study my wife and learn her likes, dislikes, turn ons, and turn offs. Sometimes (frequently) they change and I have to unlearn or relearn her new likes, dislikes, turn ons, and turn offs! Some of the fellas probably understand what I mean. But through all of that, one thing has consistently come back to me as an almost guaranteed way to energize our relationship. That is being domestic sexy.
What in the world is “domestic sexy“?
We all know what it means to be sexy. Attractive. Exciting. Appealing. Most of us relate the word domestic to work in and around the home or family. Household tasks such as cleaning, yard work, bathing the kids, or preparing meals. These tasks usually fall more on the side of the wife than the husband.
When a husband is domestic sexy he completes those tasks that his wife normally does, so she doesn’t have to. A domestic sexy husband handles the things that she may be able to do, but may be a little more challenging or undesirable to her such as household repairs, pumping gas, or cleaning the toilets.
So when you combine them, you get a husband who completes those tasks, and in turn is sexy to his wife. That brother is domestic sexy.
Why should I be “domestic sexy“?
What happens when a husband is “domestic sexy“? First (and obvious), things that need to be taken care of around the house are taken care of. But the impact it has is even greater. It affects the emotional, mental and intimate areas of our marriages. A domestic sexy action may be more appealing than flowers, more fulfilling than dinner out, and more relaxing than a back rub. Let’s take a look at the effects.
Mentally your wife knows that she is not in this alone. I have heard stories of wives that say they feel like they are a single mother, due to most of the burden of the domestic duties falling on them. When you are domestic sexy, your wife knows you are there for her and with her. She is secure in the fact that no matter what happens, this man is going to do what is necessary to make sure she is comfortable.
Emotionally your wife feels loved and feels you are truly concerned about her. This isn’t a given in marriage. And even when it is present, we still must say and show it. As a husband, leave no doubt that you love your wife! And remember love is a verb; it is about action. The actions of a domestic sexy husband show he loves his wife.
Intimately your wife knows that she has a strong chest to lay her head on. Although you may be grinding every day to provide for your family, you still have enough inside you to meet your wife’s other needs. She knows when she is tired and falling, you are there to provide rest and to catch her. And she will want to lay her head on you.
Appreciate the “domestic sexy” husband
Many of us husbands are already doing the things mentioned above. For those who are, here is a fist bump, and encouragement to keep it up. For the wives who have domestic sexy husbands, appreciate that brother and encourage him in word and action. I know I make all kinds of mistakes and mess things up, just like many other brothers, but like I said earlier when I am domestic sexy it always invigorates our relationship.
Wives, just think, if being domestic sexy means taking care of business around the house, relieving you of some tasks you typically do, and doing the difficult tasks, then what would a husband who is not domestic sexy look like?
Question: Husbands, are you domestic sexy? If so, how has it affected your marriage? Wives, how does it affect you when your husband does any of the domestic sexy actions discussed?
I didn’t know it had a name. But I guess my husband is domestic sexy! I really appreciate it and sometimes take it for granted because its our norm to divide and conquer. I love the fact that you’re still learning and UNlearning things about your wife. That is a wonderful thing. IT’S ALSO A VERY SMART THING! Great article Jackie!
Thanks Sheree! And LOL I didn’t know it had a name either…you see what I thought when I first heard it. I’m guessing that most husbands do it, but may be unaware how much it helps the relationship and the intimacy. Now it has a name so we all will know! haha
From one Jackie to another Jacquie!! Awesome read and so very true! I definitely love and appreciate my domestic sexy husband! That is a great name for it and can not wait to let him know how much I appreciate his domestic sexiness! Thanks Jackie, keep up the great articles!
Haha…yes and thank you Jacquie! 🙂 I (jokingly) said on the BMWK Facebook page that wives whose husbands fit the criteria should refer to their husbands as my “domestic sexy” from now on! LOL at least this week…we gotta make it stick!
I totally agree Jackie..great article! My husband is totally domestic sexy ( “sexy” sexy too) Just knowing that I have a partner and we’re in this together is so comforting to me. Trust me, I have been in a relationship where all of the burdens fell on me which is why I am not taking what I have for granted now!
My next post: “Is your husband ‘domestic sexy’, ‘sexy sexy’, or both??” LOL Relationships like that form an unbeatable team (and family) for sure. Thanks Ronnie!
Thank you Jackie…You have just given a wonderful name to the very characteristics that embody my amazing husband. Thanks for giving me another way to give him the praise and encouragement he rightfully deserves. As for the other “Domestic Sexy” men out there, keep up the great work. Your wives are forever grateful and your goodness does not go unnoticed.
Fist bump to Mr. Belgrave! 🙂 It is a WONDERFUL thing when spouses encourage and praise one another. Thanks for commenting Mrs. Belgrave!
Love the article I wish I had a husband that did these things instead he tells me it’s the woman’s place…smh. One day I hope he realizes what year we’re in but until then I guess I’ll be a wife from the 60’s (note that I’m an 80’s baby and so is he)nd do it all even after I get off of work 🙁
JoJo be encouraged. I am sure many domestic sexy husbands had to grow into that…me included. Sometimes extra encouragement when he does do something that is domestic sexy to you, can encourage him to do more of it. I’m pulling for you guys to get the domestic sexy thing down! 🙂
I’ll be honest, I could do more to be “domestic sexy”
*Throws a load of clothes in the washer*
BrothaTech LOL! I can appreciate the honesty…that is the first part. I had to realize I was real domestic UNsexy, and I’m sure my wife will be honest and say I still am sometimes! But I keep working on it. That load in the washer is a good start! 🙂
My Husband is “Domestic Sexy” and I show and tell him all the time. As a wife, I LOVE and APPREECIATE any and all help my husband gives! Some men don’t realize how much being “Domestic Sexy” is valued in an African American marriage. In today’s time, there are a lot of families run by single woman and children (especially young boys), don’t get to see and experience a household with a “Domestic Sexy” husband or father figure! I’m glad my household is run the way it is and I have a very suppotive spouse who shows my children what a LOVING relationship is all about! Thanks DJC for all you do…I LOVE and APPRECIATE you always and FOREVER!
That is awesome right there! Fist bump to Mr. Collins, and you as well Seante for giving that brotha his props right out in the open like that. And thanks for commenting. One of my hopes with this post was that husbands and wives realized the importance of a domestic sexy husband, and the need to appreciate him when that is present. Your comment confirmed that! 🙂
Interesting! I guess I’m in that number!I guess like many others, I never knew it had a name. I guess I’m considered that because I’ve always done it. You know, I guess mama knew what she didn’t have but wanted her sons to be that way because she raised me to be that considerate man of the house. I never thought of women to see it with some “sexiness” but I do get her appreciation for what I do. No special effort or task as far as I’m concerned, I’m just happy to take some level of stress off her hands! My wife’s a full time mother and housewife and I’ve had to cover for her for days at a time when she left town to help the family or something. That was enough for me! So I help her to show my appreciation. I get vacations from my job so she deserves the same from hers! That to me is just part of the marriage partnership that I’m more than happy to do; whether she asks or not…and yes, she appreciates it! ;D
Fist bump T. Henry!! And props to your mom for raising you that way! Now that you know it can be “sexy”, do not take too much advantage of it…or do! haha If enough brothas read this post, every dish, every household and car repair, and every corner of our houses will be taken care of by the time the weekend is over! haha Seriously, thanks for sharing and representing for husbands that are doing right.
Wow T. Henry, we definitely need more men like you. I hope that I can one day marry a man that sees marriage this way, as a partnership, not as I have to do everything, while all he has to do is go to work, come home, eat, and sit on the couch and watch tv. I know so many men that do this and think that they are well within their “manly” right to do so and I think that many women are getting tired of this, hence the increasing divorce rate. I have a friend who is a lawyer and also teaches an online class as well, and her husband didn’t want to do anything. They ended up divorcing a few months back, which I thought was unfortunate, but I think she was just tired of carrying the load, bringing home the bacon, and having to fry it in the pan, and her husband wasn’t doing anything. I commend all of you “domestic sexy” husbands out there!!
Jackie, I love this! “Domestic Sexy” is actually a new term to me, but I like what I hear and I agree this would be better for me than flowers, chocolates and teddy bears! Thanks for introducing this to me, now I’m going to introduce it to my husband. 😉
My pleasure Tiya! And please introduce it to your husband, your friends, other married couples, tell the world…we are bringing “domestic sexy” back!!! LOL 🙂
My husband is definitely domestic sexy and I am very thankful for it. I didn’t know there was a name for that…lol…He helps out around the house A LOT even after spending long hours at work. I could not have asked for a more hardworking, God-fearing, understanding, patient, loving, loyal and caring husband. God definitely knows what we need; and yes He gave me a God fearing Domestic Sexy Husband. ***doing my praise dance***
Thanks for sharing Keshia! Fist bump to your husband, and you keep gettin your praise dance on! haha And it is official now…we have to let everybody know about the domestic sexy husband! Spread the word! LOL
I have been trying to explain this to my husband for years. He thinks as long as he doesn’t cheat, works hard and pay the bills, I should be happy. The thing is I work hard too as a RN in a very busy hospital on the busiest floor for 12 hrs a day, four, sometimes 5 days a week. We have 8 children, only 7 live with us ages, 18, 15, 6, twins that are 4, and twins that are 3. Our family is huge, and so are the responsibilities. I keep my children in activities to help them develop such as dance and sports (all of them). After running all day with them on my off days, and having to ensure they are fed when I work, it would be so welcomed for my husband to be my knight in shining armor and give me some time where I didn’t have to worry about the house, clothes, or the kids. It infuriated me when I have to come home and use all my time playing catch up, while he chills and looks at TV! I am going to let him read this article, or I might just read it to him. Coming from another man, he may finally understand.
OK – I’m telling you now that I do this ALL THE TIME, and it doesn’t work. So either this is a special case, or I got the screws (no pun intended) put to me. I cook, do laundry, clean – I do it all, and not just on occasion. I’m thinking I’m doing it so my wife doesn’t have to do it, but now it doesn’t get done unless I do it; as if it’s expected. So yeah – that works for some people.
…and don’t get me started on the appreciation factor, or lack thereof.
Thanks for sharing Will! You are right, domestic sexy may not be everyone’s thing, or it may be certain aspects of domestic sexy like fixing something, or building something. It could be that is not your wife’s love language. One of my wife’s love languages is acts of service. I would say, if you don’t know already, find out her love language and “speak it.” And sometimes a talk to let her know your thoughts on it all may help. She may be unaware and a little complacent about it.
I certainly have a DS man! He chooses to bless me with housework even though I’m a stay at home wife…when he does that it blows my mind because he’s doing it to help me and I love that side of him.
This is the wisdom of not only a wise man, but a man who wants to be HAPPILY married.
Post writiing is also a fun, if you be acquainted with after that you can write or else it
iss difficult to write.
A wholesale directory lists thousands of suppliers and wholesalers in a website.
Electronic products from China are superior with performance features, compact aand available
in a gamut of shapes and colors. Youu could also utilize
online wholesale directories, like Salehoo, to help you narrdow down your choices
when it comes tto selecting a business supplier.
Of course the online auction sites are always a great alternative.
In the past, the main difference was one oof quantity.
Make inquiries carefully and choose what is best for you.
Browsing online is so user-friendly that even those among us who may feel intimidated by clothes shopping online, wil be put at ease in today’s online experience.
Purchasing from traditional stores makes them feel good and secure.
All these reasons contribute towards hospital scrubs wholesale buying.
Charaterized by a fun interplay of colors and fabrics, current fashion trends reflect the attitude of today’s new
generation who think, `this feels just right’ and
`this what Iwant right now’. If the manufacturer dopes not do
aany wholesale deals, ask about getting their wholesale dealets contact
information. Your Supplier Sales Rep knows whgat product mixes you
can successfully carry through the seasons.