4. The friends with benefits/no-strings-attached relationship will NEVER develop into something meaningful. No woman should ever have to gamble with the prospect of elevating from “spare booty” to a meaningful relationship with a man. To even suggest that a woman suspend her dignity for meaningless gratuitous sex is a gross underestimation of the value of a woman. More importantly, friends with benefits and no-strings-attached relationships are misnomers.
Benefits are inherent in all friendships. Genuine friendships are inherently beneficial and mutually rewarding. A sexual relationship is a specific relationship with a totally different dynamic than platonic relationships. Friends with benefits are a category that’s used to combine two mutually exclusive relationships for the purpose of reaping the benefits of one without the responsibilities of the other.
5. Side chicks are 20 somethings looking for a sugar daddy. Even if this were true, what difference would it make? Side chicks only enter relationships by invitation of another woman’s uncommitted disloyal man. There are no age limits or financial limits for these unfortunate women who buy into their own exploitation and allow themselves to be the second-string coming-off-the-bench women in the lives of unsuitable men.
6. The side-chick is just a sex partner, nothing more. A side-chick is a woman who is a willing victim of a very selfish man. The fact that a woman willingly agrees to be used for sex does not change the fact that she is a victim, “nothing more.” It’s possible that a side-chick could become a “main chick”, but this “upgrade” is a gamble not worth winning. How could any woman trust a man when she was the other woman in his life? What would make her think her “promotion” would not leave a space for a new side-chick to fill? A woman should be pursued by a man who has chosen her above all others.
What’s left unmentioned in these 6 myths (in addition to what has already been presented) is that there is no accountability for the behavior of the men who benefit the most from these “arrangements” (it would give far too much credit to legitimize them by calling them relationships). These discussions always seem to focus attention on the women and rarely, if ever, the men. These women are either blamed for “allowing” men to use them or their relationships are written off as “fair exchange” which seeks to absolve men of any responsibility for the emotional damage that results when the relationships come to a crashing end. That is the biggest myth of all that somehow did not make the list.
BMWK, What do you think about these myths?