Let me begin by stating there is no justification for cheating when you’re married. If your relationship is shaky or you’re bored, share that with your partner. Consider solutions prior to jumping in bed with someone else.

Cheating doesn’t fix your marriage, it alters your character.

You start to lack integrity and become a person others can’t trust. You disappoint those who love you most and break the promise you made before God when you said “I do.” Here are a few other things to consider before you cheat.

Know what cheating is

Knowing what cheating is and what behaviors actually cross the line is something to consider. We have to think about every action and determine whether or not it might be one that hurts our spouse.

Related: 5 Signs that you are emotionally cheating

Lusting after someone other than your spouse, even if you haven’t physically gone there, is cheating. Internet porn or making connections online, is cheating. Whatever takes your focus away from your spouse, sexually, is unhealthy for your marriage.

It usually begins with something “innocent”

Another point to consider is cheating usually begins with what we think is innocent. There’s no such thing as harmless flirting. It usually leads somewhere.

Flirting means there is an attraction. Having an initial physical attraction is how most relationships begin. It’s more than likely how your relationship with your spouse began.

The consequences aren’t worth it

Someone’s heart will be broken. There will be tears and anger. Children will be devastated and confused. You will deeply wound the people you love, whose hearts you were supposed to protect.

You’ll find it won’t be worth it. Unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, or unstable individuals will alter the course of your life.  A few hours of pleasure will bring about a lifetime of pain.

There will be regrets

You may be okay with the marriage ending, because you were probably unhappy. But you will not be okay with how you made your spouse feel.

Related: Create a “no regrets” relationship

Their pain will be painful for you, if you ever truly loved them. You will wish that you could go back in time and handle the situation differently.

You are in control of your private parts

You have the power to remove yourself from any temptation at anytime. You’re stronger than you know.  When you give in, you’ve admitted to having no willpower and being weak.  

The truth is, it’s a choice. Cheating doesn’t just happen; it’s an intentional action. We have to stop pretending affairs just happen. There is a certain amount of planning that goes into cheating. At any moment, individuals can make the right choice and be faithful.

I challenge every married person who reads this post to really consider how much you actually lose when you cheat. Fight for your marriage. Communicate with your spouse when your needs aren’t being met before you decide to cheat.

BMWK, what are other considerations individuals should take before they cheat?