There are so many men who are dealing with being rejected in the bedroom by their wives. Instead of being a pleasure palace, your bedroom is becoming a mortuary. I’ve talked to so many men who have expressed their heart on this issue. This is an emotionally unhealthy place for a man to find himself. If you are in that position, you must turn your desire and need over to God during these times. God already knows how you feel and understands this is difficult to express in words because your soul is in agony.
As a man, you must know that your need for sex is real. You must deal with the reality of your situation and not fall into sinful lust. You must deny yourself of any other resource that could bring sexual pleasure. This is the time that, as a man, you must yield yourself before God and ask Him to prevent your bedroom from becoming a mortuary. Here are 3 ways to bring your bedroom back to life and ignite the flames of passion.
Take Your Prayer Life to the Next Level in the Bedroom
Your prayer life must intensify, and you literally must cry out to God. Ask Him to help you to continue to be the man He wants you to be. The movie, War Room exemplifies the true essence of implementing the Word of God within a marriage. In the movie, “Miss Clara” taught a wife how to go into her secret place to win the heart of her husband. Her secret place represented where she “went to war” spiritually.
As men, we can do the same thing. We must make a big, bold, and brave decision to do something we have never done before to turn things around so we can experience love like no other. As believers, I find that we have not been taught how to correlate the intimacy in our marriage to our prayer life with God. Sexual intercourse between a husband and wife is an act of worship. Husbands and wives must look at intimacy and sex as a unified weapon to destroy the schemes and wiles of the devil. The moment your bedroom becomes a mortuary, the devil wins. You must believe in intimacy to the degree that it makes you closer, not only in your marriage but in your walk with God.
Be Vulnerable with your Spouse in the Bedroom
As a man, can you be vulnerable for one minute and admit that you have been weakened because of rejection. This can cause your confidence and stamina to diminish for various reasons. When a man’s confidence has been stolen or damaged, it impacts his strength to go beyond the veil. He will not experience the maximum from that divine secret place of intimacy. I know that this is a hard truth to face because it lowers your self-esteem. What man wants to humble himself to confess that his self-esteem has been diminished? A real man who is ready to ignite the flames of passion once again can make this confession.
To do so, you must be transparent. If you want to prevent your bedroom from becoming a mortuary, be quick to share your feelings with your spouse. Time is of the essence so don’t bottle up your emotions. This can lead to anger and frustration. Admitting that something is bothering you will help you address the problem immediately, and your spouse will see your attempt at honesty. The more vulnerable you can become the more you can be yourself. In return, it will aid in forming more of an emotional connection with your spouse. Your bedroom should be a haven a place of refuge. Some things don’t just happen. They must be created.
Respect and Serve Unconditionally in the Bedroom
Intimacy and sex can be magnified as though it is the ultimate encounter a man needs. Although it is a need, it is not the main ingredient. The main ingredient for a man is respect. He is made to receive respect, especially from his wife.
A wife respecting her husband exemplifies her trust in his ability to provide leadership. Within the protection lies provision for a man. As the wife shows respect, she is providing the husband emotional stability. Despite our downfalls, her respect makes her man feel good about himself. Every man recognizes that he has feelings and he must be allowed to acknowledge that respect “kneads” those feelings.
A husband and wife must die to self for his/her spouse to live. One reason a marriage is put together by God is for each person to meet the sexual need of the other. You must make your place of intimacy with the mindset that it is not about you. Unavoidably, there are times that you’re going to be tired and just don’t feel like sacrificing for the other person. However, a marriage requires really giving your all to serve your spouse by meeting each other’s needs on your own without seeming as if it’s a duty.
By: Deavin Ross
About the Author: Deavin Ross, author of L.O.V.E – The Second Time Around: Strategies and insight on how men can heal from the detriments of divorce, establish blended families, and rebuild their confidence as a man & husband! To learn more about Deavin Ross visit his website at www.theloveauthor.com.