Successful relationships, like all great accomplishments, require commitment and action. In order for couples to keep love and romance exciting in their relationships they must first establish an environment of love, trust, and respect.
If each mate consistently expresses and displays these three things to each other a safe, secure, supportive atmosphere is created.
The ultimate goal of building intimacy is to create a vulnerable relationship space that is non-judgmental and allows for openness and honesty. Each person should be able to share their innermost desires and fantasies without apprehension, fear, guilt, or shame.
All of these elements must be present in order to take risks that allow you to take your intimate experiences to the next level. Listed below are 4 ways that couples can take their sexual experiences to new heights.
Be willing to bring your mate’s imagination to life. Allow them to tell you who they’d like you to be, how they’d like you to act, what they’d like you to say, and what they’d like you to do to fulfill their fantasy. Fully commit to the role, immerse yourself and become one with the character. Purchase an outfit, walk the walk, talk the talk, and behave exactly as the role dictates you should. Be everything that your mate desires and fantasizes about.
If you really want to get creative and do something different, plan an evening out as two single people that just happen to meet each other. Pick a club or bar and designate a time to arrive. Fellas, put on your sexiest outfit and her favorite cologne. Ladies, put on your sexiest outfit and stilettos. Men plan to drive your car. Arrive first so that you can find the perfect spot to watch your woman walk in and casually stroll past you. Women call an Uber to drive you to the spot. Allow your entrance to captivate him and command all of his attention as you walk past him to the bar.
Fellas imagine Teddy Pendergrass’ song, “Come on and Go With me.” Go up to the bar, grab your woman around her waist and whisper in her ear “You look like you’re just bored to death and you wanna get away, you wanna get away from this noisy crowd. Let’s go where it’s nice and quiet. Where there’s nobody, there’s nobody else around.” Allow the excitement and the erotic energy to lead. Let the foreplay to take you places you’ve not been before in your relationship.
Variety is the Spice of Life
Don’t be afraid to add a new position to your sexual repertoire. Tell your mate you want to try something new. Or better yet, purchase a book that clearly illustrates several sexual positions that you can try. Go through it together and select positions to try. Commit to trying a new position weekly until you’ve tried all of the one’s that pique your curiosity. Remember to shake up your routine. You are not confined to 9:30 pm every Tuesday and Thursday after the kids are asleep to have sex. You can and should be spontaneous with your locations and times to add variety to your erotic interludes.
Build it and They Will Come
Dare to dream beyond your one super-secret adult toy. Draw and create your own 50 Shades of Grey pleasure dome. You don’t have to create anything extravagant or expensive. Allow your imagination to guide you. Simply agree on a few toys, massage lotions, outfits, naughty accessories, and romantic music to put in your play room. Paint the room a deep rich sensual color, add candles and soft textured fabrics that stimulate the senses. Don’t rush take your time with creating this space. As you mature sexually and grow more comfortable with your mate add more things that you feel will enhance your intimate experiences.
Create a Sexual Alter Ego
If you’re too shy to release your inhibitions, create an alter ego that will give you the freedom to be everything you want to be. Unleashing your inner sex kitten or Don Juan signifies to your mate that you both are entering a sexual safety zone filled with a confidence and assertiveness that leads to unfiltered, uninhibited, unbridled passion.
Text your mate that ‘Eva’ is thinking about them, or ‘Sebastian’ is at home waiting on them. Walk up behind them in the kitchen and touch them, kiss them, or say something that only your alter ego would say. And then tell them to meet you in the pleasure dome. Create sexual experiences that would rival any romance novel.
A strong intimate connection is required to explore intimacy and brave unchartered territory. Make it a practice to connect mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically daily. Kiss your mate deeply, embrace them tightly, and tell them through your words and actions that they are the most important person in your life daily. Build trust that will tear down walls of fear and apprehension. Figure out ways to dive deeper into intimacy with your mate. Don’t be afraid to open up to new possibilities with your mate.
BMWK – family does your intimate space allow vulnerability?