Walk past most magazine racks in the grocery store and you are bound to be inundated with headlines boasting the “latest” or “hottest” or “kinkiest” bedroom tricks for couples eager to get it on. Let’s face it. Keeping the mood sensual and the marriage bed beguiling is tough to do. For some couples, the honeymoon takes a backseat as life rears its necessary head after the first few months of wedded bliss. Before you know it, any energy to romance beyond the hit it and quit it release gets snatched up by:
- Work hours that get longer
- Her penchant for waking up early
- His side hustle that keeps him up late
- Kids, kids, kids
When a husband calls or texts his wife throughout the day, her heart – and body – warms up.
Soon, everyone’s testy and no one’s in the mood for love. So how can you keep the romance ripe when life is constantly in the mix. Notice I said romance. Let’s lay out some tried and true relationship hacks that make intimacy a priority whether you’re a newlywed or whether you tied the knot a long time ago.
I don’t think it will come as a shock to anyone that a wife loves it when her husband talks to her. But when her husband calls or texts his wife throughout the day, her heart – and body – warms up. You see, by taking the time to communicate with his wife, he lets her know a few things:
- She’s still the center of his world
- She’s a source of encouragement and comfort in his crazy world
- He misses her when they’re apart
- He loves her
- Her world matters to him
Yeah, I know. Can one phone call do all of that? There’s a reason communication tops the list for many women when it comes to making a relationship work. She doesn’t need a lot of his time. She just needs his thoughtfulness. The words that come from her man’s lips provide the kind of comfort and assurance throughout the day that she gladly takes into the bedroom at night. Then, everybody’s happy…smiles all around!
Wives, men are visual creatures. They were when you first met and chances are, that hasn’t changed. So, walking around in granny pajamas and night cream will definitely put the romance on ice. But I don’t think that’s news to anybody either. However, the one area where wives often lose traction and bring romance to a halt is in their daily general appearance: Did she take a shower today? Did she comb her hair? Is she still wearing those holey shorts and dirty T-shirt?
When a wife invests time and effort in her appearance, and pays attention to how her dress falls on her hips, it tells her husband a few things:
- She loves him enough to put in the effort
- She’s confident and happy in her marriage
- She respects him and is proud to be his wife
- He still turns her on and she wants him to know it
I know that seems like a lot. But when her confidence is high, a wife’s hips get loose. She feels sexier so she dresses sexier and acts sexier. From the time he sees her in the morning, her husband can’t wait to feel the sway of her hips at night. He doesn’t need Beyonce, just the knowledge that he’s making his woman happy. Then, everybody’s happy…smiles all around!
While those all sound well and good, his lips won’t communicate and her hips won’t sway unless both husband and wife do the following in their relationship:
- Practice gratitude daily
- Extend the grace
- Talk through challenges. Don’t let them sit and fester.
- Go out on planned and unplanned dates.
- Make their marriage a priority.
- Pray specifically about your romance
- Deny themselves in those moments they don’t feel like giving it up
So, while the magazine racks are full of advice on how to spice things up in the bedroom, his communication, her confidence, and their consistency should not be overlooked. They don’t require kinky toys or gymnastics skills. If ignored, they send romance packing. But enriched, they ignite the kind of passion that will last a lifetime. Then, everybody’s happy…smiles all around!
BMWK, What ways and how often do you cultivate romance in your marriage?