Are you open enough to share your deepest, darkest, inner truths with your spouse? An even better question is, is your spouse open enough to receive that level of info?

Two key ingredients in most healthy relationships are communication and friendship. With friendship comes sharing and a sense of comfort.  When we trust, we open up, and who should we trust more than our spouse?

For some married folks, their spouse is usually their greatest ally and a most trusted confidant. There aren’t very many secrets or pieces of information being withheld in this type of marriage. Nor is any topic off limits. For many other couples, it isn’t that simple.

Some are still holding out and refusing to become an open book when it comes to their spouse. Some have trust issues, and others are still kind of figuring out how to be a good spouse. Certain things may come easy for couples, but vulnerability isn’t always one of those actions.

For example, can you talk to your spouse about sex? It is one of those topics people complain about but rarely discuss as a couple. Are you able to express when you need more of it? Or even when you’d like to try something new? Couples should be able to fully express their intimacy needs.

Are any past relationships a taboo topic in your marriage? Occasionally, it’s helpful for your partner to hear what you’ve learned from past relationships. It could provide your partner with a greater insight on you. Now I definitely don’t recommend going on into great detail about how amazing your ex was in bed, but sharing useful information could be great for your marriage.

Are you able to openly and honestly discuss any challenges you might be having with your in-laws? Couples must create boundaries, and sometimes that includes reminding the in-laws of whose marriage this actually is. It’s important that couples are able to discuss those challenges and not pretend they don’t exist. Communicating how you feel and listening are going to be key.

Can you share your dreams with your spouse? Dreams are what motivates and inspires people, they need support. Why not share yours with someone who loves you? A spouse can’t offer support if they aren’t included in the vision. Your partner will appreciate you trusting them with your dreams.

Is money a welcomed discussion in your home? You can’t build a solid foundation with a shaky structure. This includes your finances. Don’t be embarrassed to share your finances (negative or positive) with your spouse. Marriage is a partnership, and your spouse needs to know what your finances look like and vice versa.

How often do you share your own insecurities with your spouse? You’re an imperfect human, as is your spouse. So your insecurities aren’t an anomaly. Those things about you that you doubt need to be shared with your spouse. It would definitely help them understand you a little better and be more sensitive to your needs.

Can you also discuss what you don’t like about your partner? If your partner has this one thing that turns you off, don’t keep that a secret. It will continue to turn you off. Plus your spouse will always appreciate the truth.

Marriage is a partnership, friendship and our most sacred union with another person. There are great benefits that come with being open and honest in your marriage. It should absolutely be the one place we feel safe to be our one true selves and have real talk consistently.

BMWK, is there a topic you can’t discuss with your spouse?