by Delano Squires
Theaters all across the country were packed last weekend for the release of Steve Harvey’s new film “Think Like a Man.” The movie, which was based on Harvey’s book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, gave humorous insight into the contemporary dating scene and portrayed the book as the holy grail of relationship advice””whoever had it held the power. The women used it to improve their relationships with men””players, mama’s boys, dreamers, and non-committers””who were each lacking in some way. Once the men learned the ladies’ secrets they used the book to their own advantage. Predictably, the film ended with each side getting what they wanted from the other.
Steve Harvey is most well-known as a comedian, radio host, and media personality, but the success of his book is due to his status as a self-proclaimed expert on men. This part of his public persona is the one that gives me pause. I know that no one film will capture the breadth and complexity of the human experience, so I’m not upset that the film didn’t represent me or many of the men I know. My main concern is that the film’s characters and storyline are more representative of today’s men than I would like to believe. “Think Like a Man,” much like a great deal of commentary on men and relationships, places a disproportionate amount of the responsibility for the success of relationships on women. It also represents a world where men don’t grow up until women force them to.
I tried to share my perspective with my fiancée, but she couldn’t understand why I found parts of the film disconcerting. I used our own relationship story to illustrate why accepting this version of manhood without question or critique is so dangerous.
We started dating at a time when I was actually in a position to be in a serious, committed relationship. I wasn’t attached to anyone else, so she didn’t have to worry about my heart being pulled in multiple directions or question her place and priority in my life. I was also at a point where I could sustain myself financially and felt secure with where I was professionally. In addition, I was actively pursuing a personal, committed relationship with God. I was regularly attending church, active in a community group, and participating in ministry.
My point to her was that when she met me I was already a man. I was a person who was already committed to growing and developing spiritually, socially, personally, and professionally. I wasn’t waiting to find somebody who could do the hard foundational work of becoming an adult for me. In short, I was ready for a wife, not looking for another mother.
I tried to give her a sense of what things would have been like if I had been in the mold of the “Think Like a Man” characters. For one thing, she would have had to figure out whether I had cut ties with old flames and given up playing the field. She probably would have had to push me to look for a better job in hopes of me becoming the provider she envisioned her ideal mate being. In addition, her desire for spiritual compatibility would have put her in a position where begging me to attend church would become a weekly ritual. If she still decided to pursue a relationship with me, she probably would have found it tiring to constantly try to get me to see areas in my life where growth was sorely needed but consistently absent.
Framing it that way made the contrast abundantly clear. I wasn’t ready to be a husband five years ago, but now I’m mature enough to have someone in my life who can partner with me, inspire me, support me, and challenge me. She is able to love freely in our relationship knowing that she has been the beneficiary of my life change, not the cause. She can also rest in the knowledge that my self-image is not threatened by her success. She doesn’t need to become less of the woman she is so that I can feel like more of the man I should be.
I know firsthand that a woman can contribute to the betterment of her man, but she should not be saddled with the burden of having to manage her life and his. Transformation driven by external sources tends to be fleeting. When the original stimulus relents, oftentimes so does the change.
Consider a man who has spent years pursuing women like prey, consuming media that uses the commodification of women’s bodies to drive profit, and reacting to social cues that draw a direct relationship between a man’s sexual conquests and his masculinity. Meeting the perfect woman might encourage him to change his actions for a period of time but it does nothing to counteract the deep imprint left by years of unhealthy attitudes toward the opposite sex. If he refuses to do the hard work of change for himself, he will be tempted to revert to his old ways. That’s why we find it so unsurprising when we hear about a married man who still has girlfriends on the side.
The other problem with the film’s overarching narrative is its characterization of the interactions between men and women as a game. This perspective trains men to view women as prey instead of people. The former reflects the simplicity of films like “Think Like a Man.” I have no problem with Steve Harvey discussing the importance of protecting “the cookie,” but that guidance is woefully incomplete if it’s not accompanied by advice to men about the dangers of being a “cookie” monster. Relationships promote collaboration; games thrive on competition. That latter might make for great rom-coms but it leads to terrible relationships.
I hope this film will spark a conversation about what it means to be a man and inspire men to reassess what, and how, we think about women. To me it means realizing that the preparation for becoming a husband and father should begin long before walking down the aisle. It means being accountable for your actions and cultivating relationships with women that are characterized by honesty and respect. It means having the confidence to pursue your life goals with passion while remaining humble enough to still be teachable. It means constantly reminding yourself that growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional. I hope someone writes a relationship book for men about how we think. That conversation is long overdue.
BMWK, what does “thinking like a man” mean to you? Do you think advising women to think more like men is helpful? If not, what type of relationship advice do you think is more beneficial to both women and men?
Excellent post Delano! As always, honest and thought-provoking.
I have not seen this movie yet, but I did note that the advice given in the book may be obvious to some women, but not to those who are naive and inexperienced.
I think the advice to “think like a man” may be useful but also hurtful. This perspective suggests to a woman that a dating relationship is a game that she must be well-versed in or else she is setting herself up to be used, taken advantage of and run over by any man who comes her way. This may lead us to believe that every man starts out with the intent to deceive the woman he pursues a relationship with.
While this information is something women should all be aware of, I do not believe it should be our only perspective. Cultivating a loving relationship based on honesty and trust as well as a willingness to grow together emotionally and spiritually is most beneficial to both men and women.
In the pursuit of knowing one another and doing life together, the true man/woman you are and hope to be will emerge.
Thanks Felicia! I think you hit the nail on the head. The gamesmanship that characterizes the dating scene is not productive. Building your relationship on honesty and trust is a much healthier way to go.
Delano, your comments are on time and so on point; they give me hope that more men like you are out there and available for the women who are ready to receive them. Thank you so much!!!! However, even though men like yourself are available, we seem to not be “finding” each other at the same place and time….topic for another day/blog.
I think women have been having these conversations much more widely and for what appears to be a longer time than men. I also see evidence that women are much more willing to hold each other accountable to the standards you present than what I see men doing. That is our socialization, because we are more apt to be taught to be “good girls”, and to systematically prepare for grown-up life and relationships than men. It also appears to me that men are less willing to say to each other and expect from each other the living out of the standards you’ve grown to espouse. Men seem to see and hear more often than not about men being boys in grown-up bodies, so they think they have to follow suit, unless and until they fess up internally to the heartache it causes them and their families from youthful indiscretions that happen way after they surely should’ve known better.
Men are generally not socailized that there is a better way; “the game” mentality ultimately means that in a relationship there is a winner/conqueror and a loser/victim. NOBODY wins like that. Genuine, purposeful, enduring grown-up relationships (of any kind, not just intimate) mean both/all parties are winners because each seeks out the best for the other and ultimately themselves by bringing their best, complete self to the relationship.
Bottom line is this: if more men/fathers don’t actively join this discussion and live the higher standards so that boys/sons see them to emulate them, we will continue to see the systematic destruction of our families, our culture and this society at large, and people like Mr Harvey will continue to reap the benefits of our depravity at the box office!!!
Wonderful response… when’s your book coming out?! 🙂
Thanks! I guess I should get started on one pretty soon.
RE: “I hope someone writes a relationship book for men about how we think.”
I was thinking the same thing Angela. Delano you would be perfect for writing that book, I’d buy it!
Thanks! I know there are mature, serious men out there and many are in committed, fruitful, loving relationships. I agree that men are not necessarily socialized to hold ourselves accountable in our relationships with women. Oftentimes, we either facilitate bad behavior or turn a blind eye. This type of behavior won’t stop until we men begin to have the wisdom to see the changes that need to be made and the courage to make them.
Excellent article!! I’m so thankful that I had a father who taught me to sift through the men who were not ready. I am often reminded of how important it is that the transformation from a boy to a man be one that occurs independently. As a newlywed, I am just so grateful that he was ready. We avoided lots of pitfalls that way and jumped into the relationship as a team. There was so much security in knowing that his character was not something that I had to shape.
P.S. You should write a book on for men on how ya’ll think. Market is wide open for it.
Thanks Meagan! I think positive examples of mature manhood (esp. fathers) are very important, for both boys AND girls. For young men, a good father is a pattern. For young women, he is a standard. Without that example, or another man who fills that void, other versions of masculinity will fill that vacuum, oftentimes with devastating effects.
Excellent post and very much needed to steer the present conversations surrounding this movie and how men and women relate.
You summed up why I couldn’t get into the movie. I felt like I was watching a teen drama with a too-old cast. It’s funny to me, as I have heard people rip Tyler Perry a new one for his films, but this movie wasn’t that much different but with better dialogue.
Just my opinion.
Now that my brother is well said and that’s what I call a man. Maybe you should write that book you’re hoping for. I would definitelydefinitely read it!
Thank you, thank you and thank you!
Well said! Please consider writing a book as an extension of this article.
Thank you again!
Sometimes as black people we take movies way to seriously and forget it’s just entertainment. I did not go into the movies with any expectations, looking for myself or looking for any advice.
I agree. I’m mindful to keep art (music, movies, etc.) in its proper place. But I also know that there are sensitivities about how we’re portrayed in the media.
Yes, when it pertains to negative images and coonary none which were in this movie but yet and still I have read so many blog reviews knit picking the heck out of it. Alot of what Steve said in his book (borrowed copy) was common sense and things most women heard already from other WOMEN but seemed to have aha moments cause it came from a man. I do not like any kind of relationship games BUT the same people saying AMEN to this post played their own game (s) at some point.
Thank you for this response! You perfectly articulated what is wrong with Steve Harvey’s whole approach to relationships and dating. Men and women need to grow up if they want to be in healthy, monogamous relationships and that doesn’t start at the altar!
I look forward to reading more from you and I hope that you consider penning your own book in response to his propaganda.
Great post Mr. Delano! Although I agree with “no comment” in that is was just a movie and made for laughs. If you really want to get into the seriousness of the logic. It is not far off base at all. The blame is not on Steve Harvey or whoever decides to write a book on men and women dating. The fault lies with the African American community as a whole. We are our own mirrors of how the world sees us and we have been doing a horrible job at presenting ourselves well! Both African American men and women have lost the love and respect for each other. We no longer see the beauty of our parents and grandparents. We see check books, cars, houses and bodies. A once proud race is now “just like everyone else” in being superficial and vain towards each other. I’m not going to go in a preach session.. Keep the faith friend!
BRAVO
Thank you so much for this well thought out statement. I’m so glad that men are starting to see the flaws in these sorts of movies. And more so thank you for being a real man and not afraid to stand up and say that you are. Its time we started celebrating that black men that are being the men that God created them to be and not the stereotypes that we want them to be.
As much as I want to love and support my fellow black folks, this movie and then the book were a waste of time, film and paper. And I’m not sure what credentials Steve Harvey brings to the table to sit down and write a book about the dynamics of African American relationships.
Once again thank you for this.
Thanks! I’m FAR from perfect (just ask my fiancee) but thankfully I’m to the point where continual growth is high up on my list of personal priorities. I think it’s important for men to think of ourselves as more than just breadwinners and protectors. We should embrace the full range of our humanity and that includes being able to engage in introspection and self-evaluation. That’s one of the keys to real growth.
It begins and ends w/ this: Steve Harvey is a hustler. This is an avenue for him to make money. Bottom line.
Exactly! The book is just a money grab and women fell for it. *shrug*
How loudly can I scream AMEN???
I read a post response to yours whose point is that ‘it’s only a movie’; however, I have to say that the woeful state of relationships in general and marriage and marital prospects in particular in the Black community leads me to believe this ‘movie’ is more a reflection of our sad reality than many would like to admit. As to Wes’ point about Mr. Harvey being a hustler, I don’t have any way of assessing what he is; regardless, it is my hope that more men will emulate your example and/or come to very similar conclusions of positive growth and maturity
on their own. God bless you and keep you is our prayer.
I absolutely agree with this article…but it’s not always reality…The reality is, & the sad part is….Our black men are not being raised by Men…How can they follow any example?…most of them rely solely on Grandmas, Moms, Aunts, & whoever else except for their fathers to show them how a man is suppose to be…I said MOST..OK…next the examples of men that they have or had are either institutionalized, drug abusers, drug dealers, mentally ill, or Dead….Unfortunately, the traits that are being shown from those images are how to manipulate, cheat, abuse, & so on…next we (women) certainly don’t have much to choose from…we accept it or even sometimes try to mode our men into a man because simply they were not taught how to be one…Usually when we encounter them they all have a story whether it be abuse, poverty stories, coming from an undesirable environment and so on…one thing about our race especially the black women we love hard and everyone needs love but at what expense to the next person? Yes there are men out here that are like you described, just plain out ready and can be called a Real Man…but rare! Often times, we are in a relationship forever and sometimes the man will grow up and sometimes they won’t…some of us stick with those kind and some of us just can’t tolerate raising a boy and all the nonsense that comes with it! In my opinion the movie portrays what happens mostly in our world…it sad but true! We must change the stigma…we do have good black men although we certainly need more examples of them!!
Very well said! I’m in agreement with the others. You should write a book!
Its funny that much of your article had a lot to say about how wonderful YOU are. Sounds like “crabs in a barrel” to me. Why must we hate on one another so much?????? Where’s YOUR film and where is YOUR book. Instead of blogging or tweeting so much, TRY PRODUCING!!!!
Can we just enjoy the fact that one of our own is getting paid and giving other African Americans opportunity and employment. Who are you lifting up? Besides yourself????
As a Christian, I am even more appalled that you would be so critical of another Christian brother and his achievements. This is one of the reasons why we are suffering so much as a race. We hate on one another!!
Remember the film was created & produced for entertainment purposes. The film never claimed to be a DOCUMENTARY ! So ease UP!
Lastly, I attended the film with my husband who is nothing like any of the characters in the film. My husband is a loyal and loving man. He is also a devout Christian, father, great provider, he is educated, successful and very handsome (just to name a few of his attributes). Nevertheless, we both enjoyed it!!!
I am personally grateful that this article came from a man. It seems to me that men don’t often have the conversations in such a blunt and honest fashion. Some truths are hard to swallow, but that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be said. This especially true since our men don’t often have fathers around to tell them this stuff growing up. Then after, they don’t always have good friends around them for accountability.
I didn’t read this article as a “hate” fest on the movie at all. It was a fair critique and we all have the right to not enjoy a film as much as someone else. The author clearly viewed the film with a critical eye, but only used it as a platform to discuss a larger issue that really is affecting marriages in our community. If the article didn’t apply to you or your husband, then great! That’s something to celebrate, but there is certainly a segment of our community that it does apply to and those people might have been helped by it. I personally didn’t like certain aspects of the film and could have written a complimentary article to this one about the woman’s perspective. It’s funny that you bring up him challenging another Christian brother. Isn’t that what we are supposed to do? Challenge each other, encourage each other, sharpen each other. You say the author is hating, “crabs in a barrel”, when you are essentially doing the same thing. Specks and planks.
Christian brother? Where in the Bible does it say to wait 90 days before sinning?
Soulful,
Let me begin with the disclaimer that I am a Christian (and I won’t start on the how much that title is thrown around in this day and age). But as a true believer, I am intrigued by your response.
You seem to imply that Christians cannot be critical of each other (this is not true). Also, while you see that the film is not a documentary, someone has to take responsibility for the images that are portrayed and promoted in the black community as some of us seem to believe that life should imitate art. I’m glad that you have a great marriage and this movie may not have had such an impact on you. However, I am concerned about the portrayals of what is acceptable, expected, and normal in black relationships (especially for those who are unmarried).
I thoroughly enjoyed the post and I found his views to be uplifting. I didn’t see the hate you referenced, but to each their own…
I’m done, but I wouldn’t be quite finished without pointing out that I think that it’s ignorant to think that we should enjoy the fact that “one of our own is giving other African Americans opportunity and employment,” without paying attention to the effects that person is having on our society. That reasoning doesn’t fly for pimps, drug dealers, or anyone else who “makes it” without any regard to our society. Employment and money is good, but as you know, “No man can serve 2 masters…”
Soulful,
I appreciate you taking the time to read the piece but I think you misunderstood where I was coming from. I’m not hating on Steve Harvey. I actually liked the film, but I feel Steve Harveys philosophical approach to dating advice leaves a lot to be desired. And hes not alone. Headlines like “7 Ways to Keep Your Man From Cheating†show up even in womens magazines. My point is simple: any “relationship expert†that lays the responsibility for mens behavior at the feet of women is doing women AND men a great disservice. Whether a person makes money from their endeavors is the least of my worries. Im much more concerned with the long-term impact of questionable advice from a self-proclaimed expert, whether in print and visual form. I am happy that you have a husband who is the antithesis of the characters in the film. He sounds exactly like the type of man I was trying to describe–someone who isnt waiting for his woman to make him into the person he should be.
First of all, outstanding post. I’ve written several times myself, that the issue is not about women “thinking like a man.” I support Harvey’s ambition – imperfect as it may be – and I understand the thinking behind the book. Essentially, it’s a guide for women to spot the “predator,” the man who only wants to “get in” and then “get out.”
In those terms, the book is incredibly effective, which is why it became so polarizing. As you stated, the issue is not women “thinking like a man” but WHY women are being told to “think like a man.” Why are men acting in such ways where women have to watch out for them? In this case, Harvey is dead on in understanding the ways of a player – he was one after all. But what can he say to the men who want to play women?
You are right. There does need to be a book on what “MEN” are thinking in relationships, and there needs to be an honest critique on the black man’s mentality and philosophy in today’s dating scene. The question is, will they read?
Women are the ones buying these relationship books. They’ll read ’em. Men? Naw.
Hey Soulful,
I didn’t get his critiquing Mr. Harvey nor being in any way envious of his success in the article written above; however, I DO agree that we would do well to exemplify our Lord in whatever we do and however we deal with one another. My interpretation of his concern is around the narrative so commonly portrayed in all media, not just in Mr. Harvey’s film–men don’t have to grow up, women will be motivated toward commitment enough for both themselves and the men who they hope will choose them to do the relationship heavy lifting. Indeed, at no time did I perceive his criticism to go beyond the narrative itself to the personal. I would, though, stop short of saying as long as a brother/sister is getting paid it’s all good. Prostitution is NOT good. Dealing drugs is not good. Mind you, we can and should take something positive from what he said as well as what you said which is, we can have a meaningful, reasonable conversation about relationships in the context of the realities of today and then move beyond what we know to what God wants us to know and do and be. In so doing, we uplift ourselves individually and our community and race collectively. All in all, this dialogue can be summed up one of two ways–first in this RFK quote: “Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not.” and 2 Thessalonians 3:13-15–“But you, brethren, be not weary in well doing. And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed. Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.” Peace and blessings to you and also to yours…
Great article Delano!
I think the article made some good points but why attempt to connect a movie, which is meant to entertain, to reality? Movies are meant to entertain– that’s it. It’s interesting to me how Black folks complain about every-single-thing.
It’s simple: No one has the power to change anyone else but themselves. When you want others to take you seriously, then it is best that you take yourself seriously. If you want others to cater, support, and protect you, well start by YOU genuinely giving the same to others. If you want to be a wife, then start acting like one. It’s sad to see how women spend more time trying to gain attention from men with the same entitlement line, “I deserve to be treated like the queen that I am .” Really? What makes you this queen that you speak of?
* only my opinions*
Ditto, Girlie Girl! Ditto!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Although I thoroughly agreed with Delano’s points, Ive also seen cases where the right woman actually can make a man step out of his comfort zone, step it up a notch or two, and accomplish things he didnt think he was possible of doing. But ultimately Delano is right…true change has to come from within.
Given the overwhelming influence of Radio-Television-Film in our society, I can’t fault a film that does seem to encourage men to “step up”. But “Girlie Girl” has some great points too. I also think people may be putting too much reliance on the film as “relationship advice†because it is tied to an actual real life relationship self-help book. Without the book tie-in, the film would be just a fun and entertaining RomCom/date movie with a predominantly African American cast…something thats been missing from the theaters for quite a while! And I will be going again, if only to see Kevin Hart cut up, watch Taraji Henson work that “Corporate Black American Princess” attitude and hairstyle, and watch Meagan Good walk into her apartment wearing “that dress”!!!
Hi Sir
What a small world, I have a book coming out entitled,” Cookie Monsters”.
Love your commentaries
Ive been thinking about this, and I thank Delano for writing such a great article to generate this discussion. Having taken a screenwriting class back in tha day, I remember the formula for writing any good romantic comedy was this:
1. Set up the characters and their motivations
2. Create a comedic conflict between the couple/couples that will be entertaining for the audience
3. Throw in a few serious moments and have the couple/couples resolve their issues and get together at the end
Before we heap too much criticism on the “message†the film is sending, remember this is a MOVIE. The film used the standard RomCom formula listed above (and did it very well and with some great African American actors who brought the material to life!). As much as loving, trusting, stable relationships between serious and mature couples are desirable in real life, those kind of relationships dont exactly make for good romantic comedy and audience entertainment! On a side note, I noticed that the film used the same tired “Black film†formula of having the men bond around basketball…but because of the script and the comedic skill of the actors, even this old tired formula still worked!
I really enjoyed this piece Delano! The last paragraph resonated with me – and is something I think men and women need to ponder on. Marriage isn’t a game and to become the person we’d respectively like to marry we BOTH have to put in work.
“To me it means realizing that the preparation for becoming a husband and father should begin long before walking down the aisle. It means being accountable for your actions and cultivating relationships with women that are characterized by honesty and respect. It means having the confidence to pursue your life goals with passion while remaining humble enough to still be teachable. It means constantly reminding yourself that growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional. I hope someone writes a relationship book for men about how we think. That conversation is long overdue.”
Thanks Jovian. You’re right, both parties need to realize and commit to the work that’s needed to sustain a marriage. It takes honesty, accountability, humility, and a host of other character traits that we don’t talk about enough. We think all that’s needed is chemistry and a healthy sex life. While VERY important, our tool set must include more than that.
Hi Delano,
This is an excellent response and very well said! Although I mainly went to see this movie for humor and not a life lesson, I can’t help but agree that unfortunately it presents a message that can be taken the wrong way. I don’t think your response is being hateful, I think it’s being real. The movie makes the assumption that only women can help men “grow up” while it doesn’t acknowledge that there are lots of men in the world who are already grown up by the time they enter a serious relationship. Images such as these contribute to the many other negative stereotypes that black men/black relationships face from society. If this is taken at face value it will just add to the problem rather than offer a solution.
I look forward to seeing a book from you in the future that sparks the much needed conversations about this!
P.S. Congratulations to you and your fiancée 🙂
Thanks Sheretta! I realize that movies are primarily for entertainment, so I’m not surprised the film didn’t focus a lot of time on the mature men you described. I left the film wondering about the degree to which this was a case of art imitating life, especially since Steve Harvey declared himself and expert on men. I hope the characters in this film don’t represent the majority of men on the dating scene.
Well written!!I am almost speechless.
I believe this article as well as this film, sparked up proper discussion. I agree, that this movie was for entertainment purposes. But let’s not forget that there are many men and women out there who seek these types of media sources to relate to. I heard many women relate to the characters in the movie, so I think once you find a character you relate to, you start comparing and drawing upon their experiences to decide where you went wrong or right. I also agree that this movie did not depict every single “type” of man or relationship (this is without seeing the movie, just from numerous reviews I’ve read and heard, although I do plan on seeing it). I take everything Steve Harvey says with a grain of salt. Just my personal doing. I appreciate his attempt to educate ladies on how to handle relationships, but I don’t think you need to “think like a man” in order to get a good one. I didn’t have to and I’m happily married.
Anyways, like I said, a great discussion was sparked, and that’s what I love!
Brother Delano, I am thrilled to have a someone finally lay it on the line, challenging the African-American male who is struggling to find his place out of denial, ignorance, fear, resistance and/or resentment. As you stated, it is very important for a man to actively pursue a personal, committed relationship with God before the idea even crosses his mind about pursuing an African Queen. The number one challenge to a man is his identity crisis. The purpose and role of the male is to return to the original process of his creation, to understand his true potential while gaining a clear understanding of his principal function within the human family. It has become mandatory for a man to have a clear understanding of what he is supposed to be in his relationships with women.
Excellent article! Reading this was refreshing and gives me hope that there are still grown men out here. The conversation most definitely needs to shift from laying the burden on women to develop, nurture, and maintain relationships, as well as all of this “game playing”. The relationship advice and conversations currently taking place are extremely counterproductive and sets us back. I have not seen and don’t plan on seeing Think Like A Man because I already knew that the story line was more of the same ole, same ole–men-children who haven’t grown up, playing games, and women playing the role of mother. It’s tiring and exhausting.
Brother Delano,
Beautiful commentary! Coincidentally, most of your respondents are women…hm! While your comments are incomparably profound & “on-point”, they are also depressing…The reality is most sisters will not experience what you & your wife/fiance have 😀 The level of maturity that you’ve achieved is rare.
Additionally, we need so-called “knit pickers” to bring to light the fact that we cannot afford to “play”. We are too often too busy being entertained & escaping reality while the house is burning down! Our community is in dire straights b/c of the lack of rightful headship & male maturity (not to mention loyalty). Keep on pickin’!
Very well stated!
The movie was made solely for entertainment. I’m sure when Steve wrote the book it wasn’t to say that these are the things that every woman has to do in order to get a man. I think it was just a way to help those women who always complain about not being able to find a good man so it was just a little insight to help them figure out what they may be doing wrong.