This is PT I of a 2 Part exclusive interview that we had with wife, mother and reality star Jackie Christie. You can find the link for PT II at the end of this post.
BMWK: You’ve been married for almost 17 years. What are your secrets to longevity?
JC: I’d say communication, respect, and intimacy. I think a lot of relationships are lacking that intimacy part and not just the physical part but the part where you sit down and talk and really open up to each other. We’re writing a book about that called Sexual Relations: A His and Her Guide to Great Intimacy and that’s what we talk about, finding that greater intimacy that couples need to have to last.
BMWK: We talk a lot about the importance of still dating your spouse here on BMWK. We recently ran an article about how intimacy can begin by sharing household duties and chores.
JC: That’s so true. I don’t cook much but I’m starting to learn. And I’ve always been more of the person that goes out and runs all of the errands, but I’m starting to learn. Now Doug, he cooks. He loves cooking so that takes a lot of that pressure off of me. I don’t have to come back home after running errands and try to cook as well. He also home schools our son. When our kids were going to school I was worried with all of the things going on in the school system. So he home schooled our daughter and now he home schools our son and they have a wonderful relationship. Our son is in the top 3% in the nation as far as his education and we’re ecstatic about it.
I can’t wait to get on your website because if you really look a lot of women are worn out by the time they come to bed. Then they’re not able or in the mindset to want to be intimate with their partner. Then the partner may want to go outside to find someone who is willing to be intimate but that person may not have the same responsibilities. So she has a lot more energy and she’s ready to go when she gets the call.
BMWK: When will that book be available?
JC: It will be available in February right before Valentine’s Day.
BMWK: You were previously married. I’ve seen comments from some of our divorced readers who are preparing themselves for remarriage stating how they want to make sure their new marriages don’t fail. Is that something that was on your mind when you married Doug?
JC: Actually, I didn’t really feel that way but I got married and was always looking for the traditional family. The picket fence, the 50/50 lets work together and have a family type of thing. So I knew when that marriage didn’t work out that I’d find my Mr. Right and luckily I found that person in Doug.
Now he wasn’t ready to get married right away and as women I think we’re ready faster than men are sometimes because we’re born nurturers anyway. By nature we feel like we want to prepare and take care of, fix, love, that type of thing. I think men come into it when they’re ready but when they do they are wonderful partners and that’s what happened with Doug. So I didn’t really go into the fear part of it, but I was so busy working and taking care of not just my mom but my whole family so I really didn’t have a lot of time to think about it. So I wasn’t afraid but I knew that I’d find my Mr. Right, I just had to sit back and wait.
BMWK: Piggy backing on what you just were talking about. Black single women are beat up on so much in the media about having no hope when it comes to finding a husband. One of the things my wife Ronnie always talks about is that before we met she was busy working to make herself better so she didn’t have time to listen to anyone tell her that she had no hope of finding a husband.
JC: I would say that if you listen to the media you will feel like you don’t have any hope. It so sad….because all women especially African American women have just as much chance as anyone else does, you just have to set your mind to what are your expectations. Also a lot of women are settling nowadays. They are like I’m with my boyfriend and he’s doing this or doing that. There is so much of a lack of relationship stability, loyalty, commitment that they think they will accept whatever they are given and I don’t encourage that at all. Get yourself together. Like you said Ronnie was doing her own thing and living her life when it came to her. Don’t look for it… let it come to you.
I definitely think it’s important that the images that we put out there are important and positive so the generations that come behind us see that it’s possible. Doug and I weren’t supposed to make it. A lot of people would say he’s an athlete… they fool around. She’s a model, she’s been married before. They had all the chips stacked against us and we’re a walking example that there is love out there. It’s a beautiful thing and we’re living it everyday.
BMWK: Is there any stress in being a high profile couple? Do you feel the need to act a certain way or live up to a certain expectation that people have of you?
JC: There is a lot of pressure being in a high profile relationship but not when it comes to being in public. We are ourselves, what you see is what you get. If we’re happy that day we’re happy and if we’re not feeling good we’ll sit down and talk about it. We could be at lunch and if we’re in an intimate conversation, we’re in intimate conversation. Wherever it was Doug and I have always been the type to say lets deal with it right here right now. Nobody needs to have those feelings. We’re not promised tomorrow, we’re not promised an hour from now so let’s talk and comfort each other.
A lot of times that part doesn’t come into where people are paying attention or we think we have to be a certain way. I get a lot of emails and people say, you think he’s not fooling around but he is and that kind of stuff. It’s unfortunate so I’ll reply, sorry that you feel that way or I won’t reply. We don’t get involved in that. So you’re at target and people don’t want to see you happy. It’s a sad thing.
BMWK: I’ve seen that the more you want to promote positive marriages or that you’re happy in your relationship people want to tear you down for no real reason.
JC: That’s right. So what we decided is that we’re going to live our lives and hopefully time will change people. It will show them that you can have the same thing. We’re not flaunting or taunting you with it. We’re just saying this is our life, this is how we live it and we hope and pray that you get the same thing.
That’s why we offer all of the advice. People can write us they can call us whatever and if we can help we’re going to help because we believe in the sanctity of marriage and relationships. If you’re going to be in it be in it. There is strength in numbers.
BMWK Family – We hope you enjoyed the first part of our interview with Jackie. We want to thank her for giving us a glimpse inside of her life and marriage. Check out part two of the interview as we will discuss more about her marriage and her role on BBW LA.
Why do think that people want to tear you down when they see that you are happy? As we have stated on the site, Marriage is Not One Size Fits All…..you have to do what’s best for your marriage.
Briana Myricks says
I may not agree completely with Jackie as a person, or at least how she’s portrayed in the media and on TV, but I do believe she loves her husband and her husband loves her. She does keep Doug on a tight leash lol but hey, as long as he’s happy, who are we to knock them? Obviously something’s working if they’ve been married for 17 years. She brought up some good points. Looking forward to part 2.
Lamar says
Briana I agree. That’s why I was interested in doing the interview because I like them as a couple. I used to watch their reality show a few years back. Even with all of the craziness of Basketball Wives they still seemed like a great couple.
Niambi says
I just wanted to add that some times what you see on TV isn’t reality. The media often puts a “false image” out there because in an attempt to get ratings. I would say that regarding the Christies’, the proof is in the pudding because they have made it together this far in their marriage.
Bethany says
I completely agree with Briana. It’s funny, I just finished watching the end of the BBW reunion and came away still viewing Jackie as having major character flaws. However, I am intrigued by her marital insight and may consider buying their book when it comes out.
Niambi says
I enjoy the partnership that Jackie has with her husband. It looks like they have a genuine love for eachother and work closely together. I appreciate her sharing her words of wisdom. I think they have to be doing something right given how many years they have been together! I pray their strength because they are a high profile couple dealing with strong attacks from the media.
Anonymous says
Its sad but her TV persona has completely affected my ability to take her advice regarding marriage. I see her as controlling and her husband as weak minded, not what I want for myself or my husband. No thanks. How you teat everyone in your life (friends, family, etc) is a good indicator of how you treat your partner.
Lolaallen says
Nobody is tearing her down because she is “happily” married. People are tearing her down because she’s insecure and crazy!
Kim Pruitt says
interesting enough as crazy as she appears to be on bbw doug seems to be level headed and smart. so she gotta have somthing going for her for him to be married that long. i have been married 28 yrs we married very young at 20 and 21 she does make great points in her interview.. i always believe you gotta spend the day doing all you can to make his heart smile and it always comes back to me 100 fold. more in love with him everyday..
Mairo Speaks! says
Who’s the lady in the photo??
Kissable0503 says
When I watched BBW I believe what you see is not always what you get its reality Tv,Seeing Jackie in Laura on the other show with Tammi they seem to get along even with Laura calling Jackie Kooky they both were laughing when it
was just them two but than when all the rest of the women got togather everything changed but when Laura was talking
at the Reunion show Jackie said oh you see why I love her but I am not sure if anyone caught that.
So it is what it is maybe the next Seson if they do another one I wonder if Jackie would be ask to come back Jackie is Jackie. I am sure everyone was talking about each other as well like Draya in Laura talked so with Laura in Florida I am sure everyone is doing their own thing noone is hanging out with any of the castmates..
Jackie loves her husband in he loves her so at the end of the day lifes goes on.I may not like some of the things on the show but each person did their own part they all showed how they could lose their tempers with each other just by some he said she said mess so everyone wants to blame Jackie but all these women are grown .Laura had problems with Draya when Draya talked to Laura to say she was sorry about how she did say some things about her this was from other people not Jackie at the time.
Just something to say hmm its not over with these Ladies..
Ms. says
I watch Basketball Wives for the entertainment. If anyone is looking for guidance in these shows, they are looking in the wrong place. Reality shows are showing about 50 percent ‘reality’ of people’s lives after it has been edited by the producers. The producers are out to make money by putting out shows that will draw us in to watch them. So…..if the images we see makes us look negative, why do we set out DVR’s or block out time to watch these them? Oh, and I’m just waiting for Jackie to drop kick Doug if he gets out of line or look at Draya! LOL, just kidding!