Last night I was forced to watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta after hearing so much about the tomfoolery of one chick, Kenya Moore, from all of my Facebook and Twitter friends. Now I remember Ms. Moore winning the Miss USA pageant but apparently she’s shown back up on reality television, to tarnish her image for the world to see. As I tuned in I was mortified, (yet intrigued) with her behavior. Here was this obviously beautiful woman basically begging for her boyfriend, Walter, to marry her on a trip with the other wives to Anguilla.
I use the word ‘begging’ because this lady basically threw away all of her self-respect just for the chance to be someone’s wife. The begging I saw wasn’t your normal begging like you want to win the lottery, or to get the Christmas gift you really want. It was the type of begging that exposes a character flaw that some people (men and women) have when they want to be married, the marriage thirst gene.
This gene is a flaw that anyone can have that makes them not just REALLY want to get married, but makes them all out act a fool, lose self respect, and show no type of decency in hopes of becoming someone’s spouse.
In front of millions of viewers, Kenya literally took this gene and went and made it her own. As I watched the episode, I was further intrigued with just how long this ‘thirst’ has been on display. So I watched the entire season (thus far) on the Internet. I saw Kenya flaunt herself in front of married men, I saw her ask her ‘boyfriend’ numerous times when she was going to be married and I even witnessed her breakdown in the forest after finding out Walter was not going to propose to her- on site. After watching that ‘train wreck’ I feel like it’s my duty to tell my ladies (men someone else can tell you) to not be thirsty to be someone’s bride.
Before I go into detail, let me give you some details about myself so that you won’t think I’m speaking about something I don’t know anything about. My husband and I were together seven years before we got married. During the time of us dating, I too got thirsty for marriage and my mother had to sit me down and give me some advice.
She told me, “Let a man work at his own pace, if you are meant to be married it will happen.” While at the time those were harsh words, I’m glad she sat down and gave me that advice because when I least expected it, my now husband proposed.
I think it’s time for me to give Kenya (and other ladies) the same advice.
1. Asking a man to marry you makes you desperate. This is harsh advice but it’s so true. Men are supposed to ask women to marry them. It’s a part of the rules of the cosmic universe and one that is repeatedly being broken in the name of liberated women. The truth of the matter is that if a man recognizes your fabulousness he would have no problem asking and marrying you. The problem comes in when sometimes we women get ‘beside ourselves’ and begin to take matters into our ‘own hands’.
2. Demanding a man to marry you makes you look silly. In addition to making women look desperate, continually asking a man to marry you makes us women look silly. Let me explain. Many of us women are not only just datable but are true ‘catches’ in the sea of dating. We have great jobs, great personalities and are just overall great people. So why wouldn’t someone want to marry us? If we just focus on how awesome we are, we wouldn’t have time to ask someone to marry us! It’s similar to seeing someone who has everything ‘going for them’ ask someone who has ‘nothing going for them’ for advice. Ridiculous..right?
3. Be patient. Sometimes the person you are begging to marry you is not the person you are supposed to marry. This is something that I have seen happen to a couple of friends of mine. These were women who were the total package but their boyfriends refused to propose. Once they finally did propose and got married, they found out they weren’t even compatible to each other and were divorced within five years. Sometimes you have to take a good look at yourself if you’re waiting on someone to marry you. Maybe they don’t deserve your hand in marriage.
In the end, I’m not sure if Kenya is ready to give up her marriage thirst gene, because she’s able to make money from it. However, all of my other women across America who really want to be married, be patient. The person that is your future spouse is patiently waiting’ to meet you.
Now BMWK family, have you ever experienced someone who is so ‘thirsty’ to be married that they will degrade and demean themselves? Do you think that women should never propose to a man?