Couples typically get married because they want it to last. If they didn’t, there would be no point, right? When you make a commitment before God to stand by someone’s side until you are parted by death, my guess is you plan on being with them for a really long time.
So what are the essential components in developing a partnership that will last? Well of course there is love, honor, trustworthiness, respect, and commitment. Those are the foundations of a lasting relationship for sure. But what else do you need? What else matters if you want what you have to stand the test of time?
For a relationship to last, I believe it’s critical for you to make a few vows to yourself.
Is that selfish? Some may think so, but I think of it as a necessity. You see, if you haven’t made a few important vows to yourself, you will find it very difficult—if not impossible—to keep the vows that you make to another human being.
True love can last a lifetime, but it should never be at your expense. A truly happy, long-lasting marriage is never at anyone’s expense. The goal is to take the journey together, experiencing mutual joys and challenges along the way.
The road may be bumpy, but if you stand tall in who you are, and you keep the vows you made to yourself and your spouse, I think you have a bright future ahead.
Here are 7 vows you should make to yourself (and keep) if you want your marriage to last.
Make your health a priority.
I believe when your health suffers everything soon follows. When you decide to spend your life with another person, you should make a commitment that you will always maintain taking good care of your own health. Being married is not about letting yourself go because you have someone now; it’s about taking excellent care of your health so you can be with your spouse for a very long time.
Never lose touch with the friends who matter.
Once you get married, and especially after you have kids, maintaining friendships can be tough. Although the friendships you have may change and you won’t see your girlfriends as much, never neglect these friendships.
Connect with your friends, nourish the relationships, and offer love and support like you always have. Being married should never mean that you completely lose sight of the other people in your life that matter.
Find time to be alone.
Time alone allows you to gain clarity, find peace, and get to the root of how you feel about almost anything. Forming a union doesn’t mean you should give up being alone. Being by yourself sometimes keeps you grounded.
Remain spiritually grounded.
This is one of the most important vows you can make to yourself. Being spiritually grounded allows you to find direction when times are challenging or when you feel lost. You have to make sure that you never lose your spiritual grounding.
Never let go of your personal dreams and passions.
Sometimes we can let go of the dreams we have or give up on pursuing our passions because the responsibilities that come with marriage and building a family can be overwhelming. But letting go of all the dreams you have only leads to resentment and bitterness down the line. That is a path you don’t want to take.
Never compromise your core values.
Always stand firmly when it comes to what you value most. Marriage is certainly about compromise but I don’t think you should compromise your core values. You should always stand by what you value.
Love is a beautiful thing, but committing to loving another person for a lifetime when you don’t really love yourself can lead to lots of pain. You have to make a commitment to loving yourself—always. Then and only then will you be able to truly love someone else for all of your days.
BMWK family, what do you do for yourself to increase your odds of having lasting love?