by Tara Pringle Jefferson
Growing up, we had what you would call “family meetings.” No big deal, just a half hour or so for everyone to go around and say what was on their mind, at a time when they had everyone’s full attention.
I remember feeling important during those meetings, because my parents were listening to me, my sisters were listening and my feelings were validated as being important.
So when I read in “Fighting for Your Marriage,” one of the suggested books on my professor’s list, about the importance of having a weekly couples meeting – well, it made perfect sense.
The authors write:
“Most couples do not set aside a regular time for dealing with key issues or problems. It’s hard to get most of us to do this because of the fast-paced lives so many of us live. Nevertheless, the advantages of having a weekly meeting time far outweigh any negatives.”
I totally agree. What are the benefits, as far as I can see?
1. Gives structure to your marriage goals. If you know, for example, that you want to save $1,000 between now and January 1, these weekly meetings give you a chance to check in and see how you’re going.
2. Allows more peace during the week. How many times have you brought something up with your partner, but they weren’t in the mood to hear it? But you kept pushing because if you don’t talk about it then, when are you going to talk about it? Having a weekly meeting gives you a set time every week to discuss important issues.
3. Gives you more practice in problem solving in a relaxed setting. With time you’ll be able to get to the bottom of a particularly thorny situation in less time because you’ll be used to hashing out your issues in a space where you both feel comfortable.
How many couples out there actually have weekly meetings? Are they crucial to your relationship? How have they strengthened your marriage?
Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer and blogger living in Ohio with her husband and two children. Visit her blog, www.theyoungmommylife.com, to read more of her observations about life, motherhood and love.
I love this idea! We will definitely be starting a weekly meeting. It will also be a good time for us to go over schedules (work and personal). Great post!
I wish I could get my husband to read all the great advice you guys give on this website. I try to implement a lot of these things, but we would be in such a better place if we were both getting something like this
@Shanna – You know, my husband doesn’t really read BMWK that religiously. He reads my articles, yes, but don’t think he comes home talking about, “Did you see what Harriet posted? I’m going to be more kind and patient in this marriage.” Not likely, LOL!
But what I’ve found is that even by reading these articles myself, and immersing myself in all things “improve your marriage” I’ve learned how to be a better wife. I don’t jump to conclusions as easily, I give my husband more space and the benefit of the doubt, etc. I AM happier in this marriage, if only because I made changes to how I approach our relationship.
Change CAN come about from one person. If you want a weekly meeting with your husband, tell him. Figure out what objections he might have and think about whether they are valid or if you can compromise. You can do it! 🙂
any form of communication is healthy. I like the idea and will incorporate it next time around.