In my last article, “Why Did You Get Married?” I posed three reasons people marry. One reason was money. Back in the day, a woman stayed home to cook, clean, raise children, and tend to her husband. Therefore, she expected her husband to provide the finances to run the house. As time goes on, parents encourage their daughters to “marry well” so they won’t have to worry about money. That idea is acceptable but I believe parents should teach their daughters to have their own money.
When I took my teenage daughter to an outdoor event, two men had a very nice car on display. It was antique and expensive. My daughter of course wanted to take a picture next to it, but one of the men asked if she wanted to take a picture in the driver’s seat. She excitedly hopped in the driver’s seat and flashed a huge smile. After I took her picture, the man told her if she married well, she could have a car like that too. I immediately told him that my daughter could have a car like that if she worked to pay for it and did not need her husband to purchase it for her. He paused, started nodding his head and agreed.
Here are my opinions about women looking for a man just for money:
1. You are not for sale or lease, don’t look for the highest “bidder”.
2. Don’t search for a great “catch”, be a great “catch”.
3. Be self-sufficient, your husband is not your father.
The possibility of job loss is real and you should be prepared if that happens. Having two strong incomes and bank accounts can lessen the blow if that happens. Also, not only should you have your own money, you should know how to manage it as well. If you mismanage money, the large bank account won’t matter.
BMWK — What are your thoughts regarding women marrying for money? Good idea or bad idea?
Historically, women married men who had more, or was wealthy, for stability, survival, who could provide for them and their babies. It’s an evolutionary tactic. It shouldn’t be so bad to marry for money, because the people who marry for live have a 50% divorce rate.
Good thought nikia, I just feel women shouldn’t seek a man to marry just for his money. I think both should have their own before going into the marriage.
I meant love, LOL. Anyways, for any relationship to work it needs substance. What good is it to marry someone who could provide for you financially, but not physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc?
exactly nikia!
Are you married? Or Single?
Married
I disagree with most of this article. Independence is a joke – pure deception. I have a great job and a great business and the incomes that come from both my job and the business pay all of the bills.- RIGHT NOW as my hubby pursues and invests in his goals and dreams. HOWEVER – I purposely married a man who knew how to hustle and handle his business becuase I fully intend to stay at home, cook, clean and read books while he works. It’s always been “my plan” to let my man provide for me. I don’t want to be an independent woman for ever bringing home my own bacon. I don’t want to be self-sufficient. I need my husband to be my provider and protector. No, he’s not my daddy but he is my strength, my provider, my protector, my friend, my counselor and all of that. Independence is a joke, a lie an illusion. It creates power struggles, disharmony, etc. I need my man, I rely on him and I’d be more than happy for him to buy me a big Mercedes Benz and whatever else he wants to buy. I’ve dated smart guys who loved me but had no reall hustle. We would probaly have been happy …as it goes…but I needed some securrrity with that love. I know even that the future is never secure, I might have to be the bread winner forever- who knows- but I sure weren’t taking no chances with a scrub.
Leslie, thanks for sharing. I’m sure other women feel the same way. Be blessed!
I’m a 46 year old man, and although I’ve never been married and have no children, I have dated extensively and have lived with several women. I draw a sharp distinction between women who marry only for money and those who marry for love and money both. The former are terrible–the stereotypical goldigger. These women are shallow, greedy, self-centered, bitchy, cunning and usually viscous. On the other hand, this isn’t necessarily true of women who value both love and money. I have observed many friends and acquaintances attempt to make the 50-50 type marriage work and it almost never does. Almost all of these couples are divorced or very unhappy. Their marriages feature continual power struggles, hi-stress, and frequently infidelity and nastiness. It’s totally understandable to me why a woman would want to be a traditional stay-at-home wife who’s married to a successful man who she truly loves and respects. However, any succesful man who marries must insist that his finance sign a pre-nuptial agreement. If his finance refuses too, he should call off the marriage.