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This is a picture of my oldest child when he was 18 years old and a senior in high school. It’s hard for me to believe that I even have a child that old.
I almost feel like we have grown up together over the years. I’ve watched him grow into the resourceful young man that he is today. Yes…he’s very intelligent, he’s handsome, he has a good heart and is very compassionate. But resourceful is the best way to describe him, because that child (excuse me..man) can make a way out of no way. Whatever he sets his mind on doing, he will do!
And, as he’s grown…I’ve grown too. I am not the same scared 20 year old that had no idea what to do with this baby that I brought home from the hospital. Here are a few parenting lessons that I have learned over the years:
Age 1/Mommy Age 21: Don’t rush any of their milestones. It’s very tempting to say: ” I can’t wait until he is potty trained”….or “I can’t wait until she is walking.” But before you know it, your child will be 18 years old ‘and you will be missing the times when you could sit them on your lap and kiss them all over.
Age 3 /Mommy Age 24: Keep it simple. For the most part kids are just happy to be doing something (anything) and spending time with you, their friends, or their cousins. I’ve spent time planning elaborate parties, and menus and buying gifts…when all he really wanted was a hot dog, some Legos, and friends to play with.
Age 5 /Mommy Age 26: This one might not happen to all of you…but you might have the urge to fight someone else’s kid. I am not saying that you are going to act on this urge (I never have.) But if your sweet baby comes home one day and tells you that ‘Little Johnny’ has been teasing him or hitting him, then the next time you see ‘Little Johnny’ at the bus stop…you are going to wish that you could magically turn yourself into a 5 year old kid for just one moment so that you could tell ‘Little Johnny’ a thing or two. But then, you snap out of it.
Age 7/ Mommy Age 28 – It’s OK to try things, but don’t put your kids into activities that they clearly have no interest in. It’s a waste of your time, their time, and your money. Here’s a clue: if you are fighting with them about getting ready for practice each time, then it means “they’re just not that into it…”
Age 10/ Mommy Age 31: Your child is not the only one growing. Hopefully, you’re going to grow and mature as a parent too. As I age, I am striving to be a better person and mother. Over the years, I have tweaked some of my parenting skills. And, my son will tell you that there are a lot of things that I am doing differently now with his little sisters. (i.e – At this point in my life, I didn’t want to hit ‘Little Johnny’ …instead,…..I might have given him the side eye…lol.. I was a work in progress.)
Age 15/ Mommy Age 36: Don’t Give up on Your Kids. You might come to a point where you want to stop asking about homework or keeping their room clean…but don’t give up..they still need you.
Age 18/ Mommy Age 39: Your kids may take a different path than you want them to take. You know how your GPS gives you at least 3 different routes to the same destination. And of course, you will pick the route that will get you there in the shortest amount of time. Or, since you have some experience in the area, you may pick a different route because you know it is rush hour or there is some construction. Well when it comes to your child’s life, they may pick a different route than you would pick…they may go over mountains, they may stop at a rest stop, or they might take a detour. But rest assured… they’re going to get there.
I often hear people say that they look forward to when their child turns 18 and moves out of their home…as if somehow, their parenting days will be over. But, I quickly came to the realization that this couldn’t be farther from the truth. It’s been 2 years since my son turned 18 and I am still learning lessons as a parent.
Age 20/ Mommy Age (that’s not important…lol): Letting go is hard…but necessary. Let’s face it, he’s a grown man now and lives over 8 hours away from me. I really can’t be worried about whether or not he is eating broccoli or going to class. You have to let go for your sanity and theirs. Recently, his little sisters and I paid him a visit. We were excited to see him, his new apartment, and to meet his girlfriend. Before I left, I scolded him on the condition of his apartment…..when what I really should have been doing was making sure he knows I love him and that I’m proud of him. He’s in school and he’s happy doing what he wants to do. What more could a mom ask for? Pray for me y’all, I’m still a work in progress!!
BMWK – Please leave a comment below and let me know what parenting lessons you’ve learned along the way. Or, leave my son a bit of encouragement. Or, just say Hi…any comment will do….a comment = a vaccine.
During Shot@Life’s Blogust, 31 bloggers, one each day in August, are writing about moments that matter. For every comment on this post and the 30 other posts, Walgreens will donate a vaccine (up to 50,000 vaccines). A child dies every 20 seconds from a vaccine-preventable disease. We can change this reality and help save kids’ lives!
Shot@Life is an initiative of the United Nations Foundation that educates, connects and empowers the championing of vaccines as one of the most cost effective ways to save the lives of children in the world’s hardest to reach places.
Blauewolf says
Such an honest piece. Thank you!
maria says
Beautiful family !!! Thanks for sharing, love.
ASHISH SHRIVASTAVA says
REF- more than 18years of parenting,parenting in early adulthood& teenagers should be considered as juvenile vulnerable to social&health hazard complexities.Culture of communities responsible for practices of
child marriage should be prevented.Parenting&early adulthood should involve the right to take decision about the future life complexities,biological&social causes could create constraints&behaviour problem in between young parenting &adult childhood.Parenting&communities teaching/counselling could bring goodness&affection in adulthood.
Anonymous says
Very good article. You did a good job. Tish
Hotep says
Great article. This definitely helped me put things in perspective with my oldest son. Thanks sis…Ase!
Onica {MommyFactor} says
Those are all great lesson. Some of them I have learned, while other I still need to learn *cough*letting go*cough*. You did well with growing your son.
Denise says
Love this
Pamela says
GREAT STUFF!! INTERESTING! 🙂
SH says
As the saying goes, “All you can do is all you can do.” It appears that you’ve nurtured a wonderful young man, and hopefully, as he ages and matures, you and Lamar will become even MORE proud of him.
The same rule applies to the “little ladies” in your life, as well. Your family looks really well-put together, Ronnie. Keep the faith, and thank you for the work you and Lamar do for the rest of us!
YeVette says
What a great picture of you and your kids Ronnie! Great article!
Kim says
As a mom of a 1 year old, I am at the stage of trying not to rush any milestones! Thanks for the reminder!
Beth Gold says
So much thoughtful info here. thanks.
Kathy Heck says
My “baby” is going to be 20 in a few weeks. It goes by so fast! Thanks for all the ways you share. It helps to know that we share lots of the same experiences. We’re all in this together!!
Keisha says
I dropped off my son at college last week. It was bittersweet. I totally appreciate your advice!
Scala says
Thanks so much for posting this and for participating in Shot@Life!
Thomas Ronan says
Raising kids is tough but the reward is worth it. All 5 of my children have grown and they all now have grandkids and I can see my kids grow again.
Angelique says
Wow, you have such a beautiful family!! I do agree, even when your child grows up, you are always forever a parent. I have three girls, ages 28, 27, 18, and 4, yes 4. 🙂 Enjoy them all the time.
Robert says
Great article and advice! It sounds to me like you did a great job raising your son.
Ruth says
Good words of advice.
Amber says
thank you for sharing
Linda says
I’ve come to find out that letting go of your children once they finish highschool is rather difficult. I have 3 children and they graduated back to back 2011,2012,2013 and my husband and I are still in disbelief that all of our babies are young adults but adults never the less and that we have to pull back and let them find their way. But it’s not easy especially when it comes to the college scene and all the school wants from you is your money and no input (Really)? As if but I digress all we can do is pray and believe that we raised them well and that they have a firm foundation to build on. Hope this helps.
Chaz Walter says
Awesome!
Audrey - Mom Generations says
Wonderful advice. GREAT posting. Thank you for sharing!
~j. says
Thank you for being involved with Shot@Life! And thank you for sharing your memories!
Jen V says
wonderful post!
Felisa Hilbert says
You are right we always are learning from our kids no matter how old they. Love your post.
Yolie Seward says
Thank you for All that you do. For ministering to what God established from the very beginning, The Family. God Bless you so much!!!
Missus Wookie says
Oh – as my youngest heads off to university several hours away where I can’t worry about her eating broccoli or getting to class this resonated with me. Glad you enjoyed visiting him – we loved the Air & Space Museum when we were in DC.
Ambani says
Oh wow thanks i am still learning too. stay Blessed
Melissa says
My children are still young and I feel like I am learning something new all the time.
Wendy says
And the learning never stops!
Al says
Today was the first day of school for our children, and even as I write this I have that “letting go” feeling, even though they are starting 1st (our son) and second (our daughter) grade. My wife and I are still growing and learning, too. Thank you for sharing the progress of your path. Blessings to you and your family! Hi to your son. Thank God and you for BMWK.
Andrea says
This is a great post. You’ve reminded me to stop and smell the roses with my son, as it were. Thank you for sharing.
Tamara says
We are all works in progress, aren’t we? Keep up the good work.
Zain says
Thanks for such a great read!
Rinda says
Wonderful! As a mom sending a son off to college in a few weeks,this really hit home.
Rinda
GR says
Wow, a life published in one entry! Lovely post.
Brittney says
Wonderful post, thanks for sharing!
Gemma Jeva says
Thanks for sharing your emotions!
Dolly Navina Lakra says
Love It !
Netta Conerly says
Enjoyed the read. Thank You . Give a child a shot@life.
Colleen says
Sounds like your son is on a good path :]
Thanks for the post and for supporting Shot@Life!
Al Denelsbeck says
Not a parent, but 100% behind helping them find their own interests early on. Kids aren’t always encouraged to have a voice at that age.
Thanks for supporting Shot@Life!
Alina says
Here’s to the vaccines!
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