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This is a picture of my oldest child when he was 18 years old and a senior in high school. It’s hard for me to believe that I even have a child that old.
I almost feel like we have grown up together over the years. I’ve watched him grow into the resourceful young man that he is today. Yes…he’s very intelligent, he’s handsome, he has a good heart and is very compassionate. But resourceful is the best way to describe him, because that child (excuse me..man) can make a way out of no way. Whatever he sets his mind on doing, he will do!
And, as he’s grown…I’ve grown too. I am not the same scared 20 year old that had no idea what to do with this baby that I brought home from the hospital. Here are a few parenting lessons that I have learned over the years:
Age 1/Mommy Age 21: Don’t rush any of their milestones. It’s very tempting to say: ” I can’t wait until he is potty trained”….or “I can’t wait until she is walking.” But before you know it, your child will be 18 years old ‘and you will be missing the times when you could sit them on your lap and kiss them all over.
Age 3 /Mommy Age 24: Keep it simple. For the most part kids are just happy to be doing something (anything) and spending time with you, their friends, or their cousins. I’ve spent time planning elaborate parties, and menus and buying gifts…when all he really wanted was a hot dog, some Legos, and friends to play with.
Age 5 /Mommy Age 26: This one might not happen to all of you…but you might have the urge to fight someone else’s kid. I am not saying that you are going to act on this urge (I never have.) But if your sweet baby comes home one day and tells you that ‘Little Johnny’ has been teasing him or hitting him, then the next time you see ‘Little Johnny’ at the bus stop…you are going to wish that you could magically turn yourself into a 5 year old kid for just one moment so that you could tell ‘Little Johnny’ a thing or two. But then, you snap out of it.
Age 7/ Mommy Age 28 – It’s OK to try things, but don’t put your kids into activities that they clearly have no interest in. It’s a waste of your time, their time, and your money. Here’s a clue: if you are fighting with them about getting ready for practice each time, then it means “they’re just not that into it…”
Age 10/ Mommy Age 31: Your child is not the only one growing. Hopefully, you’re going to grow and mature as a parent too. As I age, I am striving to be a better person and mother. Over the years, I have tweaked some of my parenting skills. And, my son will tell you that there are a lot of things that I am doing differently now with his little sisters. (i.e – At this point in my life, I didn’t want to hit ‘Little Johnny’ …instead,…..I might have given him the side eye…lol.. I was a work in progress.)
Age 15/ Mommy Age 36: Don’t Give up on Your Kids. You might come to a point where you want to stop asking about homework or keeping their room clean…but don’t give up..they still need you.
Age 18/ Mommy Age 39: Your kids may take a different path than you want them to take. You know how your GPS gives you at least 3 different routes to the same destination. And of course, you will pick the route that will get you there in the shortest amount of time. Or, since you have some experience in the area, you may pick a different route because you know it is rush hour or there is some construction. Well when it comes to your child’s life, they may pick a different route than you would pick…they may go over mountains, they may stop at a rest stop, or they might take a detour. But rest assured… they’re going to get there.
I often hear people say that they look forward to when their child turns 18 and moves out of their home…as if somehow, their parenting days will be over. But, I quickly came to the realization that this couldn’t be farther from the truth. It’s been 2 years since my son turned 18 and I am still learning lessons as a parent.
Age 20/ Mommy Age (that’s not important…lol): Letting go is hard…but necessary. Let’s face it, he’s a grown man now and lives over 8 hours away from me. I really can’t be worried about whether or not he is eating broccoli or going to class. You have to let go for your sanity and theirs. Recently, his little sisters and I paid him a visit. We were excited to see him, his new apartment, and to meet his girlfriend. Before I left, I scolded him on the condition of his apartment…..when what I really should have been doing was making sure he knows I love him and that I’m proud of him. He’s in school and he’s happy doing what he wants to do. What more could a mom ask for? Pray for me y’all, I’m still a work in progress!!
BMWK – Please leave a comment below and let me know what parenting lessons you’ve learned along the way. Or, leave my son a bit of encouragement. Or, just say Hi…any comment will do….a comment = a vaccine.
During Shot@Life’s Blogust, 31 bloggers, one each day in August, are writing about moments that matter. For every comment on this post and the 30 other posts, Walgreens will donate a vaccine (up to 50,000 vaccines). A child dies every 20 seconds from a vaccine-preventable disease. We can change this reality and help save kids’ lives!
Shot@Life is an initiative of the United Nations Foundation that educates, connects and empowers the championing of vaccines as one of the most cost effective ways to save the lives of children in the world’s hardest to reach places.
Quiana says
Thanks for sharing. My son is now 13 and I am 33. He is taller than me, but I am still Mom.
Shirley says
Don’t have kids “yet” but thanks for sharing your story. When that day comes I’ll keep your tips in mind… P.S I love this site 🙂
Sherri Cager says
Thanks for sharing about your son. I have a daughter who was 18 when she left to go to school. I did not understand my feeling at first. I did not have anyone to share my feeling with who was going through the same thing that I was feeling. After we my husband and I got her settled in her dorm we came back home. I went into her bedroom and really realize that she was gone. The tears roll down my face and I was starting to miss her, I did not think that that would happen to me because, I was the mother who said I can’t wait until she goes to school but I realized that I missed her. I am glad now that I let go for my sanity. Thanks again for sharing I love this website.
LaShaun says
Oooh Ronnie. I love the life lessons you are passing on to the rest of us parents with quickly growing children. While reading this, I’m reminded to slow down and savor the moments with my little ladies, because soon, we will only have memories. Tomorrow, it feels like my husband and I will be looking at young women who too will make their own way in life. I love that you trust the foundation you’ve laid for your son.
Monique says
Thank you for sharing! I now realize I’m not alone in still trying to get this parenting thing right! 🙂
Brandon says
I have twin sons and I can only imagine the lessons I’ll be learning along the way. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
Whitney says
Great job Ronnie, it’s on the job training, forever. I’m 51 have a 17 & 13 year old girls and I’m still learning. Try having teenagers while going through menopause! We are all learning in this house!
Diana says
Its all going to quick. My oldest is 9 and youngest is 5. I tell them to stop growing.
Ashley McLure says
Just wanted to help with the vaccines. Good luck!
Anonymous says
Me too!
Anonymous says
Lets keep our babies healthy happy and strong.
Ebony says
Love the site!! Helpful info
Charlie Jones says
There was a time that children died because there were no vaccines. Inasmuch as nothing is without risk, to not vaccinate is to wager a foolish bet against our most precious asset: our children, our future.
victoria says
love it!!
Diane Grant says
beautiful article…relevant and real!
Anita says
Thanks for sharing! Parenting is not an easy job. I explained to my oldest child that just as each day is a new experience for him, it is the same for me & my husband as parents. I told him that we are all traveling down a road that we have never been before. He looked at me strangely and I told him that we have never been parents of a 14 year old before, so this thing of parenting a teenager is new to us. He walked over, hugged me & said thanks mommy. Of course my heart melted! He’s such a great kid!
Trece says
Wow!!! My “baby” will be starting middle school on tomorrow…. My oh my!! Where in Earth did the time go?
Emily says
18 is awesome!
Tyrone B. Powe says
Phenomenal job in raising your son. My mom was (21) when she had me and will be (70) tomorrow. She held things together when my dad chose to walk off. I am proud of her journey to becoming the great women she is today. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story. Ty
La'Frucia Balque says
I realy enjoyed reading the article I have two sons my oldest is 16 so I have like two years left before graduation WoW!!! And the journey will not stop after he graduate…..Thank You Father God for your Grace & Mercy!!!!!
Nardra says
I have two growing young men and they are growing by leaps and bounds every year. Hats off to all of the Parents for a job well-done!!!!!!
Melanie says
parenting is hard but rewarding,but you have to involve God our father, God bless you all
Kim says
Parenting is difficult at times but is so rewarding. Keep God first in all you do, say and even think. Remember the kids are always watching your behavior….the things you say and the things you do. They are like little sponges so lead by example.
Chrystal says
Thank you for sharing, from a new Momma 🙂
Grace says
What a blessing our precious children our, a gift from the Creator! Let us enjoy them all and do what we can not just for our own, but for those who can’t for themselves…God bless!
Veramur says
Bless you & thank you for your thoughtful blog about parenting your son. He sounds a fine young man.
Keesha says
This was such a nice reflection! It looks like you did an awesome job and he’ll be all the better for it. Hopefully the girls will attract men when they are older like their father or brother!
J says
Very great article! THANKS for sharing! God Bless!
Carrie says
Praying for all babies to be healthy and strong! Love the site!
Luetica says
Thanks for sharing!!
Rebecca says
This story is so touching! It just goes to show that raising a family is a continuous learning process. Your son sounds like he is growing to be an extraordinary gentleman!
pingram says
Very well said – you certainly have a way with words.
Zen says
Great article! I was 20 years old when my son was born. At that point, being the best mom I could be for him became the most important thing (and still is, for my daughter as well). Although parenting is challenging, it’s oh so rewarding. I thank God for blessing me with children (even the ones I didn’t give birth to). They are such a joy!
LaTrina Goodman says
I have a 16 month old son and my husband and I could not imagine our lives without him. God has truly blessed us!
Anonymous says
I think vaccines are really important for children. I wish that we would educate ourselves and stop being so afraid of them because of inadequate correlations that cause people to assign causation.
Shamicia says
Wonderful story!
Diana says
I love what you said about keeping it simple! because Pinterest made me get totally carried away for his birthday! the truth is, all the elaborate stuff is for us, parents, the kids don’t need it, you’re so right!
I enjoyed this post, thank you for participating in Shot@life! Loved that I have discovered your blog! hugs!
Vondell says
Bmwk thanks ur articles are very helpful to me and my family.
Queens Univ. of Charlotte Mom says
I dropped my first-born (son) at college yesterday and this article is just what the doctor ordered…..an encouraging word. Thank you for sharing your journey.
tbrown says
One comment = one vaccine!
Dionne Riley says
Thanks for sharing, wish I had this in my earlier years.
Twan says
Thank you for the words of encouragement. It looks as though you’re doing a fantastic job raising your son. My son will be 9 next month and he’s almost my height & weight. I miss my little baby so much, but I love the intelligent, compassionate, & chivalrous young man that he has become.
Lashon says
Learning and loving my children.. Son 21 and my daughter is 11. Cherish every moment cause they grow up way to fast. Where did the time go? Lol
Kelly Stilwell says
I have a daughter who is a senior this year. Where did the years go? Congrats to you. Your son looks like a wonderful young man. Thanks for sharing!
Leila says
I’m 43, my daughter is 10; my sons are 15, 22, & 23 and I still feel like I have so much to learn. Sometimes I wish I could go back & re-do some things, but those mistakes made all of us stronger. Ronnie’s right! Just because they are older than 18, doesn’t mean the parenting or worrying stops.
Don Wilkerson says
Enjoyed your post. Sounds like things are going well for your son, you and your family.
Josette says
Thanks for sharing these insights. My son is only 2 and I’m NOT rushing the next 10, 18, 20+ years!
Kivontria says
Hi Ronnie and Lamar! You all are absolutely amazing! I pray God’s blessings and favor upon your marriage, children, and business!! God Bless!
Ernestine L Dunbar says
Your family is beautiful and the lessons you shared invaluable! Thanks for your transparency.
RACHEL CHAPPELL GUICE says
THANKS FOR THE ARTICLE MOTHER OF FIVE BOYS
Tiffany says
This is my one and only child’s senior year of high school. I’m sure it will be hard to see her off to college however bitter sweet as well! I too am a work in progress. I pray for us all:)