Ladies here is one thing to understand: you can’t complain about him being absent if you make it hard for him to be present. Go to the next page for a few ways you can help him feel included!
1) Include him on decisions you make with the children
You can’t make all of the decisions about the children in a bubble. Yeah I know sometimes he doesn’t have much input but just including him in the family decisions are important even if he says “that sounds great to me babe!”
2) Stop criticizing every move he makes
Moms, Just as you have to figure out this parenting thing, so does he. Criticizing his every move is not only counterproductive, it hurts. If the child isn’t being harmed, then sometimes just let it go! Yeah maybe he didn’t prepare the bottle the way that you did but as long as the baby was able to eat then it’s all good! Choose your battles!
3) Give him jobs to do and establish roles
Sometimes as men we get lost in the parenting shuffle and so sometimes what you view as him not helping is really just him waiting on some instruction from you.
Some things that just seem to come natural to women don’t always work that way for us. Many times it’s not that we aren’t willing we are just a little insecure about what to do and how to do it.
4) Show appreciation and say thank you
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again….men value your appreciation in all aspects. Some might say “well why should I have to stroke his ego or appreciate what he is supposed to do.”
I say the same reason you appreciate it when he shows appreciation for you. It doesn’t hurt you to show appreciation but it means the world to him.
5) Be generous with praise in public to help change the narrative
When you’re in public and in front of friends be sure to let them know how good of a job and how involved your husband has been as a father. Not only does your husband need to hear it but other fathers need to hear it as well so that the narrative about fathers begins to change. Be just as gracious with praise as you are with criticism.
Hey I’m very much so a rookie at this parenting thing and I hope to continue to get better at it daily. I want the fathers to know that we play a bigger role than we even know and ladies the more you involve us the better we will get!
BMWK Fam what are some other ways that dad can continue to get involved in the parenting process?
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