by Ronnie Tyler
Watching Oprah’s show last Wednesday really helped me put my life into the proper perspective. I have been feeling overwhelmed, tired, and probably a little depressed lately. The every day hustle and bustle consisting of getting up, taking care of the kids, going to work,and taking care of the kids after work plus any household chores was taking it’s toll on me.
But after hearing the story of Ashley Markham and her husband Blue, I snapped back into reality. Ashley’s parents were brutally murdered and this left her and her husband with the responsibility of taking care of her nine siblings (who all have severe disabilities.) In addition to this, Ashley has a full time job. When Oprah asked Ashley and Blue how did this affect their marriage, Ashley said that it has brought them closer together. When Ashley gets overwhelmed she remembers her mother in order to find strength:
“I feel like she’s right next to me, pushing me to go on,” she says. “I feel like her strength is in me to keep me going, because I know I have to.”
When I hear or see stories like this, it inspires me because I know that if Ashley can survive this, then I surely can survive too. It makes me assess my own situation and think of how blessed I am and about how much I have to be thankful for.
When I feel myself getting overwhelmed, the following actions help me to keep things in perspective and help me to find strength:
1. Be thankful. I am truly blessed and have so much to be thankful for. I start my day in prayer, thanking God for all that he has blessed me with. Do you take many things in your life for granted? By looking at the world a little differently (with a different perspective,) you just might realize how much you have to be thankful for.
2. Be positive. This goes along with #1. Why focus on the negative? I surround myself with positive people or listen to positive/inspirational music,or watch an inspirational movie. I find that being positive allows me to see the bigger picture and to look for solutions to my problems. Whereas being negative makes me focus on the problems.
3. Talk to my husband. If I am feeling down, I talk to my husband who is always there for me emotionally. He listens and is always willing to help me find a solution to whatever is bothering me. Sharing with him brings us closer together and strengthens our bond as a couple.
4. Help others. I don’t know what else to say about this but that helping others just feels good. It helps me feel connected to others and fulfilled. Helping others in need definitely helps to put things into perspective and leads to a happier outlook on life.
5. Work on my goals. Working on my goals always provides me with a sense of accomplishment. I get excited knowing that I am working towards changing my current situation, that my hard work will pay off and that my struggles/discomfort are only temporary.
BMWK family can you add to that list? What are some of the things that help you keep things in perspective?
I cannot think of anything. You got everything covered.
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Learn to laugh at yourself.
This is great stuff, Ronnie!
Thanks for the reminder. I was having a rough morning….
I think you have pretty much said it all. The only thing I would add is always keeping in mind that trouble truly doesn’t last always and that as difficult as the moment may seem it will pass.
One thing someone told me is that no matter what difficult thing you’re going through in your life, five years down the road, it will only take a minute to sum it up.
Also, I have to add a little bit of wisdom Harriet shared with me when she left me a comment on a post I wrote about arguing with my husband about cutting the grass. She reminded me that I should be grateful that we even HAVE a big ol’ yard to maintain. 🙂 What I took from that was that I should keep my blessings at the forefront. (Thanks, Harriet, by the way. I love getting new lessons all the time!)
You know I have a very hard time focusing on the positive… How do you guys do it?
@ Tara…I remember that! I distinctly recall writing that to try to make you laugh. LOL But seriously, I’ve had to learn that lesson the hard way time after time. It’s so important to carry an attitude of gratitude. Thanks for reminding me!
@ Ed-Nice…for me, it’s no longer an option. I can be very analytical, and I love to have things planned out. Life in general has a way of knocking the wind out of you. For me, when that happens, I have to take time out to remember what GOD said about me! Praise and prayer become my psychotherapy, and laughter backs me up to give me the oxygen I need to press through.
1. It’s not an option
2. I like to work smart, not hard. It takes too much work to be foul all the time about stuff not going my way.
3. It’s like a radio station. I get to choose what frequency I want to dedicate space in my mind and heart towards. I choose the Lord and positivity.
Ronnie, I love this. My husband always tell me that whatever I’m going through, “it’s a small thing to a giant” that keeps me focused and prevents stress. I feel like I can get through anything. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Thanks everyone for adding to the list. You all gave very good input.
@Ed Nice – one way to start focusing on the positive is to literally start to count your blessings. Also surround yourself with positive people that can encourage you when you need it.
This is my first time being apart of a networking site like this, but I find it to be positive, inspiring and informative. However I did not see the Oprah special but anyone that expierences tragedy in their life my heart goes out too them. What I do know is trials come to make us stronger, wiser, and closer to God. In marriages I believe we should all count our blessings especially when you know God has reflected himself in the one he strategically designed for you. No matter the situation as long as it is not toxic, fight for your family/marriage even through the toughest of times because Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. And simply said With CHRIST you can Win,Win, Win.
I find journaling helps. Sometimes I read past entries and think how small that problem is to me now. Also, if I am consistantly writing about the same issue, I need to make some serious changes. Don’t play the victim. If you are constantly talking about the same issue, put action to it. You know how you get tired of a friend talking about the same old issue, well, sometimes we do the exact same thing. I either stop complaining (becuase if I have not resolved it by now, then it must not be that big a deal) or do something about it. Don’t talk about how much weight you gained (for example)if you are not willing to solve it. Not only do other people get tired of hearing it, but eventually I get tired of it myself!
Well, that’s my 2 cents!
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