How often do you go grocery shopping? You may be in a rush or cruising the aisles, but take some time one day to notice how the store displays the food items, produce, etc. Some things are priced differently than others, the brand name items are listed next to the store/off-brand copies, and there are the top shelf to reduced-price sections of the store.
Now think about how we as singles present ourselves in the world of dating and how our presentation is perceived by those we date or “shoppers.” Let’s look at this interpretation of dating as if you were an item on the shelf.
Retail Price: You’re single, but not necessarily looking to date. You are usually reliable and there for people in their time of need. Your time might be costly though, as you tend to focus on other things (good and bad) before going out into the dating field. Dating is not necessarily your main priority right now, and that’s okay. You’re in it to better yourself through God, enjoying time by being out and living, but you’re fine if all of that doesn’t include a mate.
Sale Price: You’re single and looking. People who are “on sale” want to leave the shelf and get into a serious relationship. These people prepare themselves with an attention-getting display, perhaps ads or coupons so that others will take a look and desire to put them in the cart. I don’t mean pick up for a night cap, more like to date for possibility of marriage. You might see more than one person in dating before getting serious with one person. Remember that presentation is key. Be honest about what you want out of the dating season: a relationship or something else? Ads can have fine print, so don’t cheat the one you’re talking to, be upfront!
Clearance Price: You’ve been single for a while now, and it’s about that time to get the ball rolling on serious relationships only. How are you displaying yourself? This is in terms of your approach and your approachability. Are you presentable or even ready for a relationship after being around in the store so long? You might have taken a break after a long term relationship, getting it together with God, and now want to pursue a substantial relationship. Be careful not to come off as desperate or otherwise you can come off as…
Reduced Price: You are most likely “returned” to the store because a relationship didn’t work out and now you are a little damaged, may have something missing, or have baggage that needs to be let go. The reduced price person is not a loser, but is not ready to date right now. Note, that we have all made mistakes in past relationships. We can’t let those mistakes damage how we value ourselves nor let other people determine our value. If you need to let someone go from your past, do it! The earlier you let go, the better for your spirit, well being, and future relationships. Don’t settle for less; don’t devalue yourself for the sake of a sale. Get your healing and start off new.
Seasonal/Limited Edition: You are in your “season of dating.” Sometimes we take the reins of our love lives into our hands and not leave it up to God. When you walk into God’s perfect will, He will open the opportunities for you to meet the right people. As limited editions, you are not around all the time [to date], but when you are, you are a favorite amongst people. Think seasonal drinks and goods that delight your senses. You appreciate that you have them in the right time, not out of season (i.e. who really craves eggnog in July?). You are desired because of your unique value that you are created to add to people.
In 2014, we have got to not sell ourselves short; we have no reason to limit our value or potential. Other people, experiences, and our [carnal] mindset can make us feel less-than. Think with a spiritual mindset and seek God; He can show you how wonderful you are (Psalm 139:14-18) because He created you! When it’s the right time, you will get in that desired and committed relationship [in the cart], get engaged [in the checkout aisle] and get married if you so desire [in the bag with receipt]. Wherever you are in the dating process, know your worth so that you can appreciate in value.
BMWK – In this season in your singleness, where are you in the aisles and on the shelves?
Hahaha, nice analogy…very accurate aswell. Right now I’m in the retail price section, not planning to move from there anytime soon. But who knows what 2014 will bring about…HA! lol
Thanks for the input Mami! Hope your 2014 is great in all departments!
This is the first time ever commentingon an article after reading BMWK for 3 years. Thank you so much for making this whole “singleness” journey into such a simple, accessible analogy :D. It’s given me a lot of food for thought and am sharing it with my friends. Gracias Tatiana!
I agree Verona, out of all the single articles I’ve read on here, this is definitely one of the best and most interesting.
Gracias La Verona! 🙂
well, i’m not sure where i fit in. i’z raised in a very conservative christian environment and i’m just trying to find myself (breaking out of the shell). this year, i wanna improve on my outward appearance (i’z brought up not to care so much about it as much as the inward) and become more outgoing, mix with people from other walks of life. i guess i have to enjoy being me before even thinking about dating/relationships. nice analogy though
Hi Ada, in terms of this article, you’re probably at retail price. You’re single but not ready to date. Work on yourself and live life, God will bring people to you in the process to both test and improve your life, so enjoy!
I swear Ada, you sound just like my twin, lol!! While some may not like being compared to items in a store :), I totally get the analogies in this article and I love the concept of the article as well, very clever. I feel ya Ada, I too was raised in a very conservative, Christian home, and growing up focused more on the internal vs. external, which makes it kind of hard in the dating world when most men focus on the opposite. Being in my early 30s makes it even harder, but I am determined to really put myself out there more and to always remember that I am wonderfully made by God and I deserve all the blessings he has in store for me, including a mate, if it’s his will. Be Blessed!