Communication is an essential key to a successful marriage. Couples must have the ability to sit down and listen to each other even if the topic is terrible. However, this is easier said than done. In some cases, couples can resolve issues on their own. Some decide to pray together, spend more time together, or even decide to make love more often. As we are ordered to stay home, couples are spending more time together. Should couples fix communication issues while in quarantine or later with professional help?
Should couples fix communication issues while in quarantine or later with professional help?
- What ways can couples better communicate
- Do not try to mend your communication issues without a counselor
- Why is it best for couples to seek therapy for better communication?
What ways can couples better communicate
As I watched a recent episode of the Real, a day time talk show that airs on Fox, Debbie Allen, was a special guest. According to her, being in quarantine is not so bad. She mentioned that she is spending more time with her spouse. “This is a blessing. I am spending more time with my husband, and now is the time when you realize if you want to be with that person or not,”, said Allen. The famous actress and choreographer is not the only person who is spending more time with their spouse. Married couples all over the world are stuck at home together. Some are enjoying themselves and others, not so much. The pair who are having a hard time being quarantined is possibly suffering from lousy communication skills.
I spoke with Dr. Shane Perrault, and he gave more insight into couples and communication.“Having dinner as a family every night has a positive effect on couple and family communication,” said Perrault. The marital psychologist who is featured in Essence Magazine reports that the way people’s households are structured is damaging their communication skills. “Some couples are running their household like the workplace right now,” he said. “At dinner time, the wife is eating her dinner in one place, the husband in another.” According to Dr. Perrault, the biggest issue is not spending enough time together. To fix this issue, married people have to work at it. “Couples should be more mindful, purposeful, and intentional about spending time together.”
Do not try to mend your communication issues without a counselor
Just because you are around your spouse more, does not mean that you should handle problems without seeking outside help. You and your partner have horrible communication, which leads to nothing being resolved. A heated argument will start. You both may say things that cut deep. Name-calling, or even physically hurting one another, can be a result of bad communication. When I asked Perrault if couples should deal with their issues while in quarantine, without hesitation, his answer was no. “They should wait until they can leave the house and seek help,” he said.
There are other options available. If you and your spouse’s issues require help right now, look into meeting with a therapist via skype or zoom.
Why is it best for couples to seek therapy for better communication?
For those of you who had siblings, I am sure you would get into arguments from time to time. When it escalated, a parent would have to intervene as a mediator to calm things down. You all would talk about it in a relaxed manner, and in the end, you and your sibling had a better understanding of each other. Well, the same works for marriage. When another person intervenes, it resolves the problem. However, when dealing with marriage, it is best to get help from a professional.
According to Dr. Perrault, the outcome of the marriage overall is better after counseling sessions. “The divorce rates in marriages drop by 30 percent when there is an intervention,” said Perrault.
If you are unable to schedule appointments with a therapist or a marriage counselor, there are other resources available. Consider taking an online course. Read books and articles that cover this topic. Just remember, do not try to handle it on your own.
What resources are you and your spouse using to communicate better?