There are certain well-established myths that Christians have overtime embraced as expectations for marriage. A myth is anything that is an idea that is WIDELY held, but false.
Unfortunately, some of these dubious beliefs surround the Christian approach to relationships. If you’re a single Christian with desires to find your future spouse, you have to have the right mindset to help you be successful in not only meeting but eventually getting married.
Whether through social media posts, sermons, books and romantic movies, I’ve routinely heard these two strongly-taught myths about relationships.
Lets start with the most important one.
1. God has only one person for you to marry
My background is in Biblical studies with my major being in systematic theology. I have a strong passion for the Word of God and also for the correct teaching of God’s Word. But, nowhere in scripture do we see the validation that there is only one person for you to marry. In fact, if you examine this concept from the right angle, it will all make sense.
If there were only one person for you to marry, then that means you have one chance to get it right. Last time I checked, God has taken many of my not-so-good decisions and turned them for His good, according to Romans chapter 8, verse 28.
And, lets just say for example you do make a mistake and marry the “wrong” person whom God didn’t intend specifically for you. Then, now your children are illegitimate. Your children’s children are illegitimate. You’ve basically just thrown off the entire universe because you married the “wrong” person.
Now, lets add to it. What happens if the one person, who God did intend for you, marries someone else before you meet? Does that mean you must be single for forever because that person married to soon?
The goal isn’t to find the one person, but to find the person best suitable for you and your future. The reality is there could be MANY people out there who God would approve as suitable for you.
2. God chooses your spouse
The first account of marriage we see in the Word of God is Adam and Eve.
In Genesis chapter two, verses 22 to 23, it states, “Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man”.
The process of Adam and Eve coming into covenant was two steps. First God created her, then Adam CHOSE her. We do not see God saying to Adam, “HEY, ADAM, HERE SHE IS” or, “ADAM, THAT’S HER.” But, we do see God presenting her to Adam, and then Adam CHOOSING HER.
Yes, God needs to be 100 percent part of the process of choosing a spouse, for He has given us principles in His Word to help us choose a suitable mate for us. Who you choose to marry should be a very conscious decision made with counsel from leaders, friends and the peace of the Holy Spirit. Do not choose someone because it just “feels right” or because you had a dream about being with said person and immediately think God gave you the dream.
These two myths are MAJOR in the Christians journey for how they approach dating and relationships. Once you stop believing there is only one person for you to marry and that the choice is not yours, then it will truly free you to get to know people without the pressure of missing it or getting it wrong. Enjoy the journey!
BMWK, what other relationship myths were you taught to believe growing up?