Is it really possible for a young woman in 2016 to date while being celibate? In this day and age, sex is at every turn in our world, staring us right in the face. Turn on any prime time TV drama, and you’re bound to see a steamy love scene (roughly one per segment if you’re a Scandal fan). Listen to pop radio, and you’ll inevitably hear songs depicting the deed (or other related deeds involving groceries). Heck, you can’t even listen to a political debate without a candidate glorifying the size of his….well, Trump tower.
Naturally, sex in 2016 is no longer taboo. And not only is sex before marriage common place, it’s expected. So does a girl really stand a fair chance in the dating pool if she chooses to stay abstinent? Who knows the truth? But writer Princessa Duru has decided to give it a try. See her account below.
I am an attractive Black woman and I have been celibate for about two years now. Why?
I got tired of wasting my pretty on liars and losers…plain and simple. I understand that not everyone is ready for celibacy as a lifestyle, but for me it has been the most empowering experience. I have to admit that for me, it wasn’t as hard of a decision as it might be for others, as I have had some quite traumatic sexual experiences.
Aside from those disasters, I just grew tired of the endless cycle of feeling used or putting up with some guy that I realized was a loser, but still hanging on for the shred of potential he might live up to.
In my twenties, sex was terribly disappointing. I have to admit that most of the guys I encountered during that time were either seriously inexperienced or just plain selfish. Either way it wasn’t worth it. Even during my short marriage, sex for me was a dreadful chore. Having a decent husband who wasn’t auditioning for the role of the world’s biggest cheater might have helped, but I will never know that now. I realize that not every woman is going to “put a lock on it,” but for those who are tired of feeling like a piece of meat, celibacy might be for you.
And if you’re worried that dating and celibacy can’t coexist, they can. Just remember, most guys will be on to the next one before you can get out of the shower, whether you sleep with them or not!