Would you ever ask a man out on a date? Before you answer that question, I think you should read these women’s stories.
“I picked my husband up 18 years ago! He was the first man I ever picked up & let’s just say it worked out! Lol…one of my best moves in history to date!” ~Shauna
“The evening I met my husband, we were leaving the event, we exchanged numbers, and the next day “I called him.” I knew he would be my husband the day I met him. I didn’t want to lose him. He was surprised that I called him, but he was also GLAD! DO IT!”~ Pat
“I did and married him 3 years later.” ~Lisa
“I love to take a man out. He sees how you like to be treated and realizes you care. Let the man take the lead after the first date.” ~Tanya
So I’ll ask you again. Would you ever ask a man out on a date?
If your first reaction is, “Girl, please! No. NEVER!” you’re not alone! You probably feel that men are supposed to lead. You might think that they’re turned off when a woman pursues a man. Maybe you’ve been taught that men are the hunters, and if you aren’t a challenge, they won’t take you seriously.
I’d like to offer another perspective that may open you up to more opportunities to meet men, and who knows, you may even meet The One like my married friends shared in their stories.
1. There are many different types of men
I know that sounds obvious, but most of the time, sisters have one image of masculinity in their heads when they expect a man to do all the initiating. In other words, they’re thinking of an Alpha male, the “man’s man” who has traditional ideas about what men do (provide, lead, protect) and how they do it (bring home the bacon, make the decisions, pursue the woman).
Some men, however, need the encouragement . They are more laid-back, more nurturing, and may even be shy. These types of guys typically need a nudge (or sometimes a push) in order to get a relationship started.
You also have men who can easily flow between these ways of being masculine and they tend to be more open to a woman asking them out on a date.
2. There are different ways to ask someone out
You don’t have to be direct. You can just make a suggestion or let it be known that you’re available to go out. I did this when I was getting to know my husband.
One Sunday after church, I asked him what he was doing that afternoon, because I wasn’t doing anything. He told me he was going to the mall to pick up a Christmas gift for a friend. I stood there, smiling like a big goof ball until he said, “Oh, do you want to go with me?” Yes, I said.
Less than a year later, we were married.
3. Modern dating has changed our traditional ways of getting together
Online dating has changed the way we date. For example, women often have to seek out and initiate conversations with men they’re interested in (which is one reason why many sisters don’t succeed in online dating!) I think these changes have created challenges, but they have also opened up space for modern women to ask men out without looking “thirsty” or desperate.
At the end of the day, you have to decide for yourself if it’s worth taking the risk to ask a man out on a date. You never know what could happen!
BMWK: Sisters, would you ask a man out on a date? Fellas, how would you feel if a woman asked you out?
I’ve invited male friends out. However, I would never invite someone whom I would like to know on another level out. I was once talking with a male friend about fishing, which he had done sometime before. At the time I thought that there could be a deeper friendship, so I mentioned that I would like to go one day. I’m sure that I heard crickets, as the conversation took a different turn. I believe that males know who to pursue and when to do the pursuing, they don’t need any assistance – Proverbs 18:22.
Amen Renee, I completely agree. If a man is really interested in you, you won’t have to prompt him to respond accordingly, he will do it on his own.
I love the idea of a woman asking a man out on a date, it could be the start of a Romance! Smile
I have tried it several times and I will never do it again. One, some men once you start it you will be taking the lead all the time, two some men find you too aggressive and would rather take the lead. There are probably some men who would not mind but I have not come across any. Like she said you definitely have to find out what kind of man you are dealing with.
I’ve asked my male friends out before and they enjoyed the dates. Every date doesn’t have to be a romantic date or even geared toward wanting to pursue anything further than friendship. If he wanted to go on more dates, he would then take over the initiations. Some men like to be asked on dates, takes some of the weight off of them to initiate it. Its fun to go on a date that I planned because I like to be aware of what we will be doing. Men like elements of surprise and the unknown too. Same way a married couple reverses role to dates, single people should be the same.