WARNING: Some of you may question getting married or why you ever got married once you read this!

Often we find out the hard way that a lot that happens in a marriage is on the job training. However, there are still quite a few things that we can learn before we say” I do!”

With marriage being such a paramount decision that affects so much of our lives, you would think that people would slow down, stop rushing, and invest a little more time into understanding what it takes to be married.

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have all the answers, but here are some things that may help people realize they aren’t quite ready to make that lifelong commitment just yet and that they may have some work to do!

You haven’t survived any seasons yet!

If you’ve only been with someone during the lustful and good times then you have no idea how he or she will handle adversity and conflict. Marriage has seasons and you need to have an idea of how your future husband or wife can handle those not so pleasant ones.

You still think confrontation=communication

You always hear people say that communication is the key to marriage, yet so many times people enter marriage without knowing what good communication really looks like.

If you still believe that confrontation, criticism, and conflict is “communication,” then you might want to brush up on those skills first because you WILL need them.

You’re insecure and don’t trust your mate

In a marriage, trust is everything.  If you don’t have it, then find it before you say “I DO.”

You aren’t financially stable or you don’t have a plan to get that way

Going into a marriage financially strained can be the beginning of the end to a marriage. Financial struggles cause emotional struggles which lead to mental and physical struggles. Get your finances in order and have a plan to succeed with your dollars and cents.

You don’t share the same values

If you don’t share the same values, it’s going to put a strain on how you build your relationship and how you raise a family. If you decide to marry anyway and your values clash, you will always just be running in place and getting nowhere fast.

You’re still entertaining others

If you can’t stop entertaining other suitors or stop flirting and pursuing others, then you probably won’t be able to deal with the reality of monogamy.

Monogamy takes a high level of discipline and a big part of it is to stop entertaining situations that can (and often do) lead to affairs.

You’re not ready to put your mate before your parents

If you are still too much of a mama’s boy or daddy’s girl to truly be willing to put your mate first, it will cause tension in your marriage and it will make the family dynamics toxic. You have to be willing to put your spouse before all others and that doesn’t just happen because you get a marriage license.