If you have recently committed your single journey to living a life of sexual purity or celibacy, I want to welcome you to the club! There are a number of people who are currently practicing celibacy, including celebrities like Super Bowl quarterback Russell Wilson and artist Ciara, who recently got engaged. I say, kudos to Ciara and Wilson for committing to keep their goodies in the jar.
The couple’s public declaration may have inspired others to follow their path of abstinence until marriage. However, celibacy, to me, doesn’t seem to be a trend—it’s a serious decision and a way of life until God leads you to marriage.
If you’ve recently decided (or made the decision years ago) to live this lifestyle, you may have discovered dating can be very difficult. So how can you date and enjoy your single season while avoiding tempting situations? Here are three date ideas to consider during your celibate journey.
If you intend on staying committed to your walk, try setting up and going out on daytime dates. There are several benefits of dating in the daytime: these dates can be brief and more frequent than evening dates. You can meet up on a work break, grab coffee or go to breakfast or lunch.
The downside to evening dates is that it tends to elevate the sexy factor: candle-lit dinner, dim lighting, late night conversation that could lead to discussions and activity that you’re not trying to entertain in your walk. Having a daytime outing lessens the temptation. If the date goes well, you can extend it to a nice walk outside, window shopping, visiting a park or whatever will allow you to get to know each other better.
What gets you thinking or stirs you up intellectually? You can suggest or set up a date that will stimulate you both mentally instead of physically. You can go to the museum to view the newest art exhibition, attend a book signing or poetry reading, take a class or go on a city-wide scavenger hunt to test your problem-solving skills. It’s easy to be attracted to your date physically, but do you find them intellectually appealing? This allows you to see how well they can think on their toes, what aspects or culture they know,and if they can teach you a thing or two.
You may have had some work tension accumulate throughout the week, trust me I know. There’s a stress release more productive to your single season than sex, and that’s friendly physical activity. Now that spring is here, you can go on more dates with your partner that will allow you to have fun and break a sweat.
This includes group sports and recreational activities like rock climbing, hiking, running, indoor/outdoor skydiving, biking and more. Getting fit together can help you motivate one another and lets you be your natural self. This kind of date can be very tempting with certain workouts and attire hitting the curves and muscles just right, so be mindful of your presentation; it’s about fitness—not flirting.
Overall, the temptation to think or even act on your physical impulses are natural, but stay true to your commitment to celibacy and remember your “why.” People have many reasons why they choose to practice celibacy until marriage. Be intentional in prayer for God to keep you focused on what’s really important and to provide you a way of escape when it’s getting a little too real. You’ve got this!
BMWK fam, what’s your idea of a good date while living celibate?