by Yvonne Chase
Married vs. Single
I was reading an article recently that said, “Married life is better than single life.” You’ve heard that before, haven’t you? The article said people in good, supportive marriages:
- Are healthier and have stronger immune systems
- Experience financial stability
- Look younger and are much healthier than those who are single
- Have enjoyable sex lives
- Experience less stress
- Enjoy life more than single or unmarried counterparts
Comparing is Foolish
I don’t know about you, but I know some unhealthy, financially strapped, old looking, and super stressed out people in sexless marriages who are enduring life ““ not enjoying it. While the jury hasn’t decided if married life is better than single life, here’s what I do know, we always lose when we play the comparison game. The Bible warns us never to compare ourselves with others; “Do your own work well, and then you will have something to be proud of. But don’t compare yourself with others.” Galatians 6:4 (CEV)
Marriage is Not the Answer
Marriage is not the answer to a better life. Acceptance is the answer to a better life; whether single or married. I suppose married life could be better than single life, and I suppose single life could be better than married life. It is what it is, and they are what they are. Each has its pros and cons.
Race to the Altar
Here’s the problem with saying married life is better than single life. Many single people marry thinking their lives will be better than divorce when that is not their reality. There’s a loud conversation going on out there about why you’re not married yet as if there’s a race to the altar and we all need to be married by a certain time.
I’m Married”...Now What?
I know a ton of women that want to get married for the sake of being married”...to say I’m married”...like it’s a goal on their checklist. OK so you’re married”...now what? Do you know how to be a wife to your husband? Do you know how you will “help” him in this thing called life? Oh, you didn’t even know you were supposed to help him did you? Yeah, you are. Perhaps if, you were to find that out first maybe you wouldn’t have gotten married yet.
It’s Up to You
Here’s what I want to say in closing; life is what you make it, whether single or married. If your married life is not the best it can be, get to work on it. If your single life sucks, make it better. Whatever you do, don’t compare your life to others. You will come up short every time.
What say you”...Do you think married life is better than single life? Why? Is your life better now that you’re married? How so? Did you expect marriage to make your life better and it didn’t? Are you getting married because you think your life will be better?
Yvonne Chase is a Certified Dating and Relationship Coach to Singles and Pre-Committed Couples. Learn more about her at her website yvonnechase.com
I think it just depends on the situation. Marriage has pros and cons and so does being single. I am single now, but I have been both married and single. I personally prefer marriage, but only under the right circumstances and with the right person. Marriage is a lot of work, and both people have to be willing to do it. Single life is cool sometimes, but when you are going through things it’s tough to not have a support system, especially as a single parent. It does get lonely, and dating gets played out too.
Hi there Lasean
You made a great point about marriage; under the right circumstances and with the right person in addition to being the right person. While its great to have the right person, being the right person in that marriage is key.
Regarding living single, its important to create a support system because you are single. I have a great support system in my life of people I can turn too when the going gets tough. While I am alone, I can honestly say I am never lonely thanks to my faith. My faith is my saving grace during this wonderful season of my life.
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate you.
This video actually prompted me to read about African American Relationships. Cant wait to get my hands on this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2fFuumOYWQ&feature=youtu.be
I agree with the article 100%. It is rather annoying hearing all the comparisons between being single vs. married, like being single is the worst thing in the world. I know LOTS of people who are married, both young and old, who are miserable, don’t get along, and are married just for the sake of being married and putting up a good front. My pastor’s wife even cheated on him, but he is still trying to save face and put up a front like they are “working things out” but she lives hours away in another state and doesn’t seem interested in reconciling. I think some people honestly get married for the wrong reasons, hence the high divorce rate, and then later realize they got more than they bargained for. I have seen so many women who get married only to divorce a year or two later, and some don’t even make it that long. They often times rush into marriage because they feel that their friends are doing it so they should too, but they are not willing to grow or change, and their spouse isn’t either, so the marriage falls apart. I think that marriage is a wonderful thing but I also think that people need to give it more thought than they do sometimes.
Stephanie B I agree with you 100%. Like I said in the post, comparing is foolish. Nothing good comes of it. Whether single or married, live your life and make it the best life it can be.
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate you.
I agree with you that we should not compare…and I have been guilty of it. In saying that, I do believe married life is better than single life…for me. One of the reasons is that I have matured as a person, matured spiritually, relationally, and emotionally. When you commit to someone your life takes on a completely new meaning. A pastor used this illustration once with my wife and I: “Imagine God as the hammer, your spouse as the chisel, and you as the sculpture God is creating. God uses the husband to break and shape the wife sometimes, and uses the wife to break and shape the husband sometimes. Either way, without that chisel that sculpture would just be a block of concrete.” That is my life.
This! Married life, just as single life is what you make of it, but being married has been the best thing that has happened to me.
Glad to hear it Mochazina.
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate you.
Hey there Jackie, I agree with your pastors analogy. That’s what marriage is however, most people don’t know that about marriage. I always say marriage is your most intense course in personal growth and development. With that said, even if some singles never marry, God will be the chisel in our lives to break us and shape us.
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate you!
Being single with no kids, lots of friends and places to go is the best. Being single and lonely is no fun and being married to a selffish/controlling partner is the pits, so is struggling as a single parent. While single and childless with lots of dates, platonic or romantic, life was grand. THE BEST!! I do agree with the the author to be happy regardless of marital status. Change what is disliked and keeping doing what is working in either situation. Happy is a way of traveling, not a destination.
I like that Dimereel – “Happy is a way of traveling not a destination.” LOVE that a whole lot.
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate you!
Thank you for this post! I agree that comparison is one way that we miss out on living the full lives we have as individuals. As a single person, I know that I thought for a long time how marriage would make me a better person… so I waited. Something hit me real hard one day and it was that my relationship with God makes me a better person everyday. I can fully enjoy the opportunities and people in my life today and not merely “wait” for that special someone better. I would not want to carry that expectation and put that burden on my future husband at all. As I learn from some married couples, some of the marriages that are having the most difficulties were some where one or more spouse had expectations that marriage would automatically translate into “better than single life” status. I really admire the relationships who work at their love and try at best to be content with who they are and what they have. Comparison in this case sometimes leads to deception…
https://stayconnectedtogod.wordpress.com/
Amen Allie! I am over here doing a happy dance and praising God. My relationship with him is everything. It keeps me fulfilled in every single way. Like you, I enjoy every facet of my life and I enjoy the opportunities and people in my life. To me, a deep relationship with God is necessary to live a fulfilled life, whether single or married.
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate you.
I’m single (never been married) with no children. I have no desire what so ever to change this. I love my life as it is. I get to get up and go when and where I please. Without concern as to how it will affect anyone else’s life. Many people (women) tell me all the time that I haven’t met the right one. I think that I have… Me. I enjoy the company of women from time to time, at my own discretion and that’s how I like it. I’m sure that there are several who are married and love it. There are many more who are single and wish to be married. I am just not one of those people. Marriage isn’t for everyone.
I love this Ogi…”I think I’ve met the right one…me!” That is funny and says a whole lot. Glad to hear you are enjoying your single life and not playing the comparison game.
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate you.
The way I see it if you live a healthy lifestyle (staying balanced…having friends, treating yourself right, ect) both can be equally enjoyed.
@ADay you are right. Both can be equally enjoyed without comparing. I know people that enjoy both.
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate you.
Well being married certainly does have many advantages since you’re always together with each other wherever you go. And single people have so many disadvantages since you’re always alone wherever you go. And being single without a love life can be very depressing and very unhealthy as well. Very obvious why married people do live much longer.