I usually do not share my business on social media because people are too judgmental, plus I grew up with the ole school saying, “What happens in my house stays in my house.” However, I am lost and need some guidance. That old saying is not helping me out so I decided to write you. I am going to get straight to the point. Should I Commit to Marrying A Woman With Six … [Read more...]
Should I Forget About Marrying My Girlfriend Due to Her Poor Parenting?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I have been dating this single young lady for over 14 months now and I am considering marrying her. However, I have one problem with her. She does not treat her children well, especially her 12-year-old son. She is mean as hell to him and appears to have a short temper. I have two sons, one 9 years old and one 13 years old. I am concerned that she is … [Read more...]
How I learned to Let My Husband Raise My Son
Sometimes blending those as step-family as there may be biological parents to deal with or the spouse entering the new family may find it difficult to parent someone else’s child. I had a two year old son when I met my husband and he had no children. The biological father really wasn’t a presence so there was no problem on that front. The problem was me. I had to learn to let … [Read more...]
Fakers, Haters and Deal Breakers—Keeping Outside Influences Outside of Your Blended Family
Blending a family is hard work. Trust us, we know. We've had to deal with differences in discipline on top of the common hurdles newlyweds face. But what we've found is that one of the biggest threats to your marriage and your blended family is outside forces. The people who make up these outside forces are what I like to call, "fakers," "haters" and "deal breakers." If … [Read more...]
5 Things to Start Your New Stepfamily Off on the Right Track
I am the poster child for blended families. By the age of 13 both of my parents had remarried, causing me to go from being the only child to having three brothers and three sisters. My life dramatically changed, and it took awhile for me to catch up. I've witnessed the good, bad and ugly of blended families. In retrospect, we were all just winging it because there isn't a … [Read more...]
How 3 Mothers Impacted My Life; Lessons from a Blended Family
My mother and father divorced after 15 years of marriage when I was 6. They met in Thailand early in his ARMY career, fell in love and he brought her back to his small Texas hometown in the United States. She spoke no English. They had my older brother shortly after arriving and had me six years later. Six years after that, they divorced and my brother and I chose to live … [Read more...]
So You Have a New Stepfamily, 4 Things You Should Not Expect Right Away
I have to be extremely honest. I didn't know what to expect when bringing together a blended family. Blending different factions (especially when there are so many differences between the family members) is no easy feat. As husband and wife, you are each raised differently; as well, you have raised your children differently. Expectations around things like homework and … [Read more...]
4 Biblical Traits of a Person Ready for Marriage
Marriage is not a game. It is an institution that was invented by God Himself to help accomplish His purpose on the Earth. The institution began with Adam and Eve and has evolved into what it is today. These days, more than ever, people are still getting together and fulfilling God’s intent for man which is to be fruitful and multiply. But, before multiplication happens … [Read more...]
4 Ways to Incorporate His & Her Family During the Holidays
Let me start off by saying I am the poster child for blended families. Both of my parents remarried when I was young, causing my family to quadruple. But now that I’m newly married, it’s officially out of control. I’ve been stressing out about how we’re going to see all 5 sides of the family during our first holiday season as a married couple. I think I’ve got it figured it … [Read more...]
13 Children by 4 Different Women: 6 Lessons from the First Blended Family
As a Pastor and marriage coach dealing primarily with engaged couples I often relate the marriages and relationship scenarios of the Bible to what modern families face. Culturally there are major differences, however many couples find comfort in realizing that much of what they experience today, couples have been wrestling with since the beginning of time. As blended … [Read more...]
Blend Family Week: 3 Phrases to Never Say to a Blended Family
I grew up in a blended family due to my parents marrying one another after previous marriages, then having me. They both had children from their previous marriage, which one, my older brother, lived with us. My older brother and I are literally night and day. He is 6’4, 250 lbs, and I am 5’7 140 lbs. It was very evident when you saw us together that we weren’t full blood … [Read more...]
Blended Family Week: 10 Tips to Make Your Blended Family Work For You
Remember the Brady Bunch? When the show came on it played that much too familiar song that went something like... "Here's a story of a lovely lady... and a man named Brady ... and that's the way they ALL became the Brady Bunch... " In that perfect square with that perfect house and all six kids coming together in harmony. Every episode ended in a resolution to whatever … [Read more...]
Why Living in Blended Families was a Gift and a Curse for Me
My father has always had a tumultuous time with women. Being such, my brother and I have had the experience of being raised in a few blended families. As is true with most experiences, it was both a gift and a curse. My parents divorced after 15 years of marriage while I was six and my brother was twelve. My father retained custody of both my brother and I. After … [Read more...]
Blended Families Week: Why Good Intentions are Not Good Enough
Lamar and I just celebrated 9 years of marriage. And while I can’t say that the last nine years have gone by without any drama or trials, I can say that marrying Lamar has been one of the best decisions that I’ve made in my life. He’s not only been a blessing to me, but he has also been a blessing to my children ….our children. We were recently asked what has been one of … [Read more...]
Blended Family Week: 5 Tips That Guarantee a Fun and Stress-Free Blended Family Vacation!
Blended families are beautiful but they can also be stressful. Everyone’s learning each other’s likes and dislikes, habits and quirks while maintaining the new daily routine. The stress can spill over to vacations as well, especially if you’re a newly blended family. Here are a few tips to help you manage the stress on your blended family vacation. Compromise & keep … [Read more...]