Dear Dr. Buckingham, I am a 36-year-old, single female and I deal with what I think a lot of successful black women are dealing with - the idea that we have to date down. In other words, settle for less than what we desire in a man. I have been living in the D.C. area since graduating from Howard University. I am from Alabama and have a southern girl mentality. I share that … [Read more...]
Single and Unattached? 5 Reasons Dating One Man at a Time Could Be a Big Mistake
Let's say you meet a man who has everything you've been praying for. He's handsome. He's educated. He's kind. He's stable in every way. The dates are exciting, and after a few months find yourself becoming attached to him. But then, things change. There's friction and distance as you notice some serious incompatibilities that you can't get past. After 6 months … [Read more...]
Singles: Thoughtful Gift Ideas Whether It’s the First Date or Your Bae
The holidays are almost here and if you’re unsure of what to get that special someone in your life, or even someone you’re just interested in, you don’t have to panic or go overboard on the spending. For singles or unmarried, we have a few levels in that relationship status to consider what kind of gift you could get someone. This post is for the folks who may need some … [Read more...]
Singles: How to Date Multiple Men at Once Without Looking Like a “Slut”
A sister asked me, how can I date more than one man at once without looking like a slut? Apparently, this woman lives in a small town and is worried about folks from the church and community wondering why she was out with George on Friday, William on Saturday and Devon on Sunday. If you can relate to this sister, I feel you. Let me offer you some powerful insight on why you … [Read more...]
“Netflix and Chill” and Other Modern Dating Terms that Don’t Make Sense When It Comes to Real Love
Will you and your bae ever make something more from a Netflix and chill session or are you two just in this together for cuffing season? If that sentence didn’t make much sense, then you're right. Modern society tends to recreate the rules in dating each year and along with those changes come new terms and phrases for the things we do for love. Check out a few of these modern … [Read more...]
3 Reasons Why You Should Date Casually, Even Christians!
Is it just me, or does it seem like casual dating gets a bad rep? But what if casual dating wasn't purposeless? What if it wasn't an excuse to have meaningless sex? What if it wasn't dangerous or a waste of time? If you are dead-set against going out with different people, I can respect your approach to dating and relationships. But as a matchmaker and dating coach, I'd like … [Read more...]
How Long Should I Wait to be Asked the Marriage Question?
Hello Dr. Buckingham, I'm sort of at a crossroad with my current relationship. I'm a single woman in my late 30's and have one child who is an adult. He's recently living in L.A. where he is pursuing his music career. I was in a long-term relationship that lasted about 15yrs. About 3 years ago, I met a very nice and caring man who I believe that I can share the duration of my … [Read more...]
3 Undeniable Reasons to Deny Casual Dating
By Derek Q. Sanders First, let’s give a working definition of what is popularly known as “casual dating”. Casual dating is the act of dating while keeping one’s options open so that you can figure out what you’re most compatible with in another person. There are no commitments in this relationship. The interactions should be light and fun. Casual dating may or may not … [Read more...]