Communication strategies have helped my marriage tremendously. It took my husband and I years to learn the 5 strategies I’m going to share with you. And the truth is, we didn’t have great examples of marriage before us when we were younger. As a married couple, we learned some things by watching educational marriage videos. But we learned even more through trial and error. … [Read more...]
3 Things You Should Never Ever Say to Your Husband
After 8 years of marriage and more than 20 years of friendship, my husband and I have had our share of ups and downs. We have a good thing going, but neither of us is perfect. We’ve each made mistakes, for sure. And what keeps us together and happy is not just how we manage things when mistakes occur, but It’s also how we treat each other at all times. I always knew that I … [Read more...]
Money & Marriage: 2 Ways Couples Can Get on the Same Page Financially
Soon after Derek proposed to Carrie, he got a bit of a surprise. He found out her house was headed into foreclosure. They still got married and faced the financial disaster together because, as they put it: "We had no choice. The bank wasn’t taking excuses in lieu of mortgage payments.” The conversations and decisions that Derek and Carrie had to make early in their marriage … [Read more...]
3 Signs the Winter Blues May Be Ruining Your Relationship
While this is the most wonderful time of the year for some, the holiday season can be really tough for many. Some people have painful memories connected to this time of the year, like the loss of a loved one, while some are struggling with what is often referred to as the winter blues. So what exactly are the winter blues? It depends on who you ask. Some refer to the winter … [Read more...]
Add These 7 Major Ingredients to Your Marriage and Discover Your Own Recipe for Success
[tps_header]You’ve probably heard time and time again that marriage isn’t easy. As cliché as it sounds, it’s actually true. If it were easy, there would be far less divorce. People everywhere would be compelled to just stay together for life. But hard doesn’t mean happily ever after is impossible. And when something is hard, it also doesn’t mean that it can’t bring you joy … [Read more...]
How Informed Should You Keep Your Young Kids on Current Affairs? And Why?
The question of whether or not to inform your young children about current affairs is a very personal and sensitive question and one that I always ask myself when it comes to my own children. Initially my reaction was that I want my “kids to be kids,” meaning I wanted them to live in innocence and remain blissfully ignorant to the realities of society. I didn’t want to … [Read more...]
How God’s Sense of Humor Healed My Blended Family; Plus, 5 Tips for YOU
Many people ask, "how did you make your blended family work?" With so many couples turning to divorce in our society, I can see how this perplexes folks. My prayer is that these five tips will help you in this journey called LIFE. 1. Pray!!!! I am so serious about this. Bringing children and a spouse together is a totally different dynamic, which can make or break a new … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Instantly Improve Communication with Your Spouse
I’ve been a little cranky lately. I am woman enough to admit that. I’m pregnant, I have a lot on my plate, and every time I open my eyes, it feels like someone in my family (immediate and extended) needs me for something. It’s a lot. And when I get cranky, I can also admit that my poor husband has to deal with some of that. He handles it like a champ most of time—especially … [Read more...]
Don’t Play with Petty: 3 Ways You Can Go High When He Goes Low
A dear friend of mine has been dealing with some unwanted drama in her life. We talk about it a lot. I offer advice when she wants it. When she doesn’t, I try my best to bite my tongue and give her a shoulder to lean on. It’s what I would want any friend to do for me. Recently, the drama has been causing her a lot of stress and anger. I get it because just listening to some … [Read more...]
Help! My Wife Goes Ballistic About Everything; and I’m Thinking of Divorce
Dr. Buckingham I have been following you on Black and Married with Kids for sometime now, and I appreciate the advice that you provide to singles and couples. I was hesitant to write you, but I broke down because I am very close to leaving the woman I swore to love forever. My wife and I have been married for 10 years, and I have been dealing with her out of control … [Read more...]
Help! My Husbands Says I’m Nagging, so How Can I Express Myself Better?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, My husband and I are going through some things, and I do not know what to do. We argue on a regular basis because both of us feel invalidated. I often tell my husband that he does not listen to me, and he tells me the same thing. To be honest, I grew up in a house where my three older brothers would shut me down, so I never really learned how to … [Read more...]
5 Communication Tactics that Could Destroy Your Marriage, #5 Is the Deadliest
A common complaint from married folks is lack of communication with our spouse. However, we communicate with our spouses all day every day. Talking, arguing and even the silent treatment is a form of communication. It’s not all good communication, but what we say, do, don’t say and don’t do conveys messages. According to Merriam Webster the definition of communication is … [Read more...]
3 Truths You Need to Accept if You Want Your Man to Change
Isn’t it funny how we always want people to change? Yet, we sometimes struggle with changing the simplest things about ourselves, like what time we wake up or what we do when a family member tries to start drama. And I’m guilty of it, too. I have wasted countless hours figuring out how to get someone to change, wondering why he or she won’t change, praying for him or her to … [Read more...]
What You Should Be Doing to Your Spouse 8 Times a Day, But You’re Not!
An embarrassing incident happened in my hometown last week, involving a stolen mannequin. The details about the incident are further below if you're curious. But what struck me about the odd incident was not about how strange and crazy the man seemed. I was more curious about his state of emotional suffering. What would lead a man to such as bizarre action? What makes … [Read more...]
5 Reasons Why You Need to Stop Being a Nag
Have you ever met anyone who loves being nagged? I haven’t. Yet for some odd reason, people do it all the time. Maybe they think it’s a good way to get a point across. I think we all know that it isn’t, though. And typically, television shows would have you believe that men are always on the receiving end of nagging, but that isn’t so. It goes both ways. I don’t think … [Read more...]