When you have a disagreement in your marriage, you should have one goal and one goal only, to win! Yes, after the dust settles you should be able to feel like "this was a clear victory." I'm sure somebody has told you otherwise. Clearly, chalking up a "W" at the end of a disagreement with your spouse is not what your intent is supposed to be. After listening to our marriage … [Read more...]
If You’re Tired of Complaining to Your Spouse, Try These 3 Things Instead
We all have something to complain about: Too short, too big, inconsiderate, self-centered, you never cook, not enough money, never home, workaholic, drinks too much, plays video games too much, she spends too much money, he doesn't have a job, not enough sex, talks too much, doesn't communicate... I have found that having something to complain about is the easy part. … [Read more...]
5 Ways You Can Talk Yourself Right Out of a Good Husband
There is power in the tongue. Through your words, you have the power to build your husband up, but you also have the power tear him down. I've seen plenty of women talk themselves right out of a good husband or boyfriend. Check out these five ways that your mouth can seriously change your relationship status from married to single. And don't worry fellas, we have five ways you … [Read more...]
Two Steps to Getting on the Same Page Again
One of the more challenging things for my relationship clients is when things simply aren’t going well. They can’t exactly put their finger on the problem, but they know that there is a disconnect somewhere in the relationship. Arguments start that would never have happened before. Long silences happen because for some reason there is nothing to say. The natural tendency is … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Fix A Controlling Relationship
“He just be doin’ stupid stuff! None of it makes sense!”, she lamented. Yeah...she was frustrated. How was I supposed to know that a simple, generic, non-invasive question like, "How are you and your boyfriend doing?" would trigger such an impassioned response. But after I asked it, she then began huffin' an puffin'...sighin' and lamentin' about her fledgling relationship. “I … [Read more...]
4 Quick Steps to More Peace and Less Conflict in Your Relationship
by Esther Boykin, What’s the secret to a lasting love affair? Great communication of course! So often couples struggle with how to really talk with each other and one of the toughest parts of communication is dealing with conflict. Most of us hope to avoid these emotionally charged situations or even convince ourselves that “happy couples” don’t fight; but the truth is that … [Read more...]
5 Things All Married Couples Should Let Their Kids See
Time and time again I am amazed by how observant children are. My son is 4 and I am often stunned by how much he pays attention to all the little details. His attention to detail is remarkable and I know it really helps him figure out his place in the world and understand how relationships work. His attention to detail also makes me far more aware of how I interact with my … [Read more...]
5 Things that Make It Impossible to Stay Mad at Your Spouse
I'm always amazed at how much I learn about marriage in just every day living. In this article about learning how to grow up in your marriage, I talk about the need to learn how to let go of, or do certain things. One of the things I had to start getting better with was the art of compromising. Even after eight years of marriage, I have to constantly ask myself if I'm being … [Read more...]
Revenge: Stop Trying to Pay Your Spouse Back
If you've read enough of my articles then you should know by now that I’m a BIG dog lover. I wanted to buy a blue pitbull named Danger and ended up with a Yorkie named Boots, but I love my dude nonetheless. So every now and then, I try learning more about dogs and why they do what they do. The other day I was wondering why dogs like to be pet and I came across this article. … [Read more...]
Why It’s Acceptable to Disagree with Your Spouse in Public
It really bothers me when my husband and I are at odds. Although it's normal to disagree with a spouse, that encounter is typically not a pleasant one. It can leave an individual feeling stressed, frustrated and simply angry. Now imagine those same emotions surfacing while in the company of others. It was especially challenging for me when my husband and I were among friends … [Read more...]