If you were raised in a similar environment to me, I bet you know this two sayings, “What is done in the dark will always come to light.” Sound familiar? It's all too familiar to me as God worked it out alright. Now, I know the headline, "A Cheater's Guide to a Lifetime of Faithfulness," might throw you off. But another saying, “God works in mysterious ways,” might help you … [Read more...]
Once a Cheater Always a Cheater…Not Necessarily!
A couple years ago when our story aired on OWN via the show Unfaithful: Stories of Betrayal several people would say, “You can’t love your husband, and he can’t love you if you both cheated!” Yep, that’s right, we both cheated (understand we're not proud rather transparent for educational and inspirational purposes). He cheated during our first year of marriage, and I during … [Read more...]
3 Distinguishing Qualities of a Faithful Man and How to Spot a Cheater
Can a man be faithful when he has the option to lay in "greener pastures?" Really think about that for a moment. The statement above, if true, would seem to prove otherwise. All men have the option to cheat. Whether or not a man cheats has little do with availability. It has everything to do with the character of that man. To be, or not to be faithful are both individual … [Read more...]
How to Keep Those Negative Memories from Torturing You After Infidelity in Your Relationship
Sometimes all it takes is a familiar fragrance in the air to arouse your nose, or a random song playing on the radio, to trigger a memory. You smile as you hear “Anniversary” by Tony! Toni! Tone! (Yep that is still a jam) and feel refreshed—unless... it happens to be the perfume worn by your spouse’s side piece, or the song that was playing when you found out about the … [Read more...]
Am I Wrong for Physically Assaulting My Husband?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, My husband and I have been together for ten years and married for five. We have three children together. My husband recently had an altercation with his boss and quit. I chose to start working and let him stay home with the kids. Well, a week later, I see he searched for a girl on Facebook, and asked him about it. He got really mad and said it was a … [Read more...]
How to Overcome 6 Barriers to Forgiveness After Infidelity Threatens Your Marriage
Have you been unable to forgive your spouse for being unfaithful? Even after he or she has proven absolute re-commitment to you, you know within your heart you have been unable to forgive. Something is preventing you from forgiving. It can be one or a combination of barriers that need to be identified immediately in an effort to heal and forgive. According to our society … [Read more...]
How to Survive the First 30 Days After an Affair
Wow! So you’ve just found out that your spouse or significant other has been unfaithful! Heart breaking, right? I’m sure you have a million scenarios and questions running through that head of yours. Did someone say questions? Questions like… Now what? What do you do? What will people think? What will my family say? How will my kids react? Should I get … [Read more...]
3 Startling Reasons He Cheats and Why He Refuses To Stop
First, let me give a very important disclaimer. I do not support cheating by any man for any reason. It is the highest order of treason as well as an act of cowardice and selfishness. It is also a clear indication that a male is misguided in his understanding of the role that manhood requires of him when he chooses to pursue a relationship with another woman. The following … [Read more...]
5 Ways You’re Being Unfaithful to Your Mate Without Even Knowing It
Forget the words adultery, affair, or infidelity for now. Just because you haven’t cheated on your mate or haven’t had an emotional affair doesn’t mean you haven’t been unfaithful to him/her. The myth about faithfulness, from the eyes of the recipient, is my mate will be 100% committed to me. If that person is found to be unfaithful, to find out why, I flip the question and … [Read more...]
3 Reasons Why Your Spouse Cheated on You
Infidelity. It has to be one of the toughest marital problems for any couple to discuss. Trust and honesty serve as the foundation of marriage. People enter their unions believing that they can trust the person they just made a life-long commitment to. When something like infidelity happens, it shakes the foundation that the marriage stands on. Once there is a crack in your … [Read more...]
How Many Ways Are You Choosing to Cheat on Your Spouse?
That's a pretty blatant statement, I know. It's a phrase that I first heard, used by a teacher named Andy Stanley and it stuck with me. How does the phrase sit with you? What comes to mind when you hear that phrase, "Choosing to Cheat"? I'm sure it depends on where you are in life, at this moment, and your mindset towards this word and act of cheating. Anything from cheating … [Read more...]