The pursuing stage is where a boy becomes a man. Yes, ladies I know you want a man, but you have to be willing to be patient as God develops him from his childish ways into the man God created him to be. I was very nervous when it came time to tell Natasha I wanted to get to know her more. My pastor and two best friends had to really motivate me past fear to communicate that to her. The fear of rejection is real, and some guys just settle for games, which is why you need to wait until he gets the courage to tell you his intentions. The pursuing stage is very challenging for some men because it is the stage that requires the most communication. A man should communicate to you that he is pursuing you, or some may say, “I am very interested in you.”
Ladies if he has not communicated his intentions with you, then please keep your boundaries in order to guard your heart! The most attractive thing to a Christian man is a woman who stands her ground with boundaries. He hasn’t done anything at this stage to earn your physical touches. It is very easy to get caught up in a guy’s actions before he communicates his intentions. Once I overcame my fear of communicating my intentions to Natasha, and she responded with an equivalent interest to move forward then dauntless confidence came over me. From that moment on, I was confident as I pursued her trusting God to lead me each step of the way.
The courting stage is where there has been an establishment of a committed relationship with the end goal of potential marriage. It is during this time that you are learning one another, in order to decide if you are suitable for marriage. Our courting stage involved some of our most supernatural events. From me meeting her family to her meeting mine. We both really enjoyed this time as we got to know one another better in a committed relationship. Prayer is essential during this stage because you want to make sure the relationship is being steered by God. Establishing boundaries is very key because now you are committed to one another, and the thoughts of getting physical will come. This stage is all about learning one another, more than touching one another. Natasha and I agreed to kiss for the first time after we got engaged. Establishing that helped us stay focused on the purpose of courting which is laying a secure foundation for marriage by learning one another.
He popped the question! This is where the rubber meets the road, and you are going to be having a lot of things to get done in preparation for the big day. This stage can be become overcrowded with so many agendas mainly coming from planning the wedding. Do not allow that one-day to deter you and your fiancé away from preparing for your lifetime together. Pre-marital counseling, reading marriage books, and spending quality time planning your future should be done during this stage.
If you are interested in watching my wife’s and I story of how we met, you can click this link to watch our Facebook Love Story.
Jamal Miller is the Co-Founder of Married and Young.com (www.marriedandyoung.com), a community committed to doing relationships God’s way, alongside his wife Natasha Miller. He has been involved in Pastoral Ministry for over 8 years, graduating from Christ for the Nations Institute with his Practical Theology Degree and Ecclesia College with his Bachelors in Christian Leadership. Jamal is a Site Coordinator for an After School program and Student Ministries Pastor at All Nations Worship Assembly in Chicago.