I recently wrote an article about rubber wedding rings after seeing an NFL player wearing one on HBO’s show Hard Knocks. Apparently, the company which sells the wedding rings somehow discovered my article, contacted me, and offered to send me some rings. A couple of weeks later a package arrived. When I opened the package I was surprised to see they hadn’t sent a couple. Rather they’d sent 12 wedding rings! It made me think about the types of marriage rings we have in our relationships.
The 7 Types of Marriage Rings in Every Successful Relationship
In this article:
Have you worn multiple rings?
Of all the rings they sent, I can only wear a few of them as some are too large and some are too small. Of course, no matter how many fit me, only one wedding ring needs to be worn at a time. But it has me thinking about the different rings we wear in our marriages.
Just like I have several rubber wedding rings, my marriage has gone through a few wedding rings itself. And, it’s not because I’ve been divorced, or have another wife and family out on the west coast (some people do that you know). I’m not talking about physical wedding rings, but different rings, or stages, of marriage. Some stages have been good, some have been not-so-good, and others have been downright rough!
Become familiar with the 7 rings of marriage
You may have noticed something similar in your marriage. Maybe you are concerned because you don’t know what phase is coming next. But if you knew what to expect you could prepare for it, and handle it better. I was caught off guard by some of the rings of marriage. My hope is you don’t get caught off guard like me. Becoming familiar with the 7 rings of marriage will help you.
This is the beginning. You have found that special someone and you are wide open! You see happily ever after in your future, and don’t see anything else. Clearly, your vision is nothing but love. The engagement ring of marriage is full of love, hope, and possibility.
You finally did it! You said “I do” to the girl or guy of your dreams. The two have become one. You get to see each other every day and night without any guilt. What’s yours is his/hers, what’s his/hers is yours. This is the ‘walking around the house with nothing on… feeling good’ stage. Obviously, life and marriage is the B.O.M.B.
Uh oh! Now the smoke is cleared. You see him/her every day, but some of the stuff you wish you didn’t see. Can he pick his socks up off the floor at least one time? Was she always late to everything? Being honest with yourself, had you known what you know now, you might not have gotten to the wedding ring stage. This ring is an eye opener.
You are now at the down and dirty part of marriage. The part that makes couples say, marriage takes “work!” The Bible says if you don’t work, you don’t eat. I think this applies to marriage first. Because if you don’t work in your marriage you will not eat the fruit of marriage. The marriages who don’t wear this ring, don’t make it.
If you said “I’m all in” through the first four rings, believed in the vision you had with the engagement ring, and didn’t let anything take down your marriage, then you can begin to put back some broken pieces. You’ve learned your spouse is not perfect and vice versa, but you love anyway. And you ain’t goin nowhere! As a matter of fact, you plan to do everything you can to not just stay together, but to enjoy staying together.
This is the stage that you were so excited and blinded by, early on. Now it is a reality. You’ve enjoyed ups, downs, issues, haters, and everything else. But it didn’t kill your marriage, it strengthened your marriage. You have one of those Still Standing marriages like in BMWK’s film. Your marriage isn’t issue free, but those issues no longer impact you like they used to. You love being married to your spouse, and it shows.
You have made it through six rings of marriage. Half of marriages don’t make it at all, and even fewer get to wear the prospering in their marriage. When this stage comes you recognize this, and you begin to teach others what you’ve experienced in marriage. Your mentoring may be just with your kids, it may be through some couples you know, or, like Lamar and Ronnie, it may be a full-fledged online movement to help marriages. At this stage, you help everyone you can wear the prospering.
Editor’s Note: This article has been transformed into an amazing book that you can find out more about on Jackie Bledsoe’s website. If you enjoy the article make sure you pick up a copy of the book.
BMWK – What ring of marriage are you wearing right now? If it is a tough fit, how can you make it through to the next rings?
Up Next: 7 Parties to Have Before and After Your Wedding
Editor’s Note – This post was originally published on October 16, 2013, and has been updated for quality and relevancy.
Troy Spry says
Great read Jackie!!
Jackie Bledsoe, Jr. says
Right after each ring stage I had to say to myself this is on point.
I must say my wife and I are just making it pass ring four after eighteen years together this oct/18/13 but nine years Married.
Very nice article
Jackie Bledsoe, Jr. says
Congrats Lu!! I’m rooting for you guys to wear all 7 rings!
Cindy Bivins Coleman says
Love this article!
nathaniel mwasele says
Its a very nice lesson , i like much , thank you for all of this !
Thanks for blessing and encouraging me this evening! I am newly wedded, but my husband and I currently stay and work in different countries. It’s really not the best for a newly weds…
Miss God! says
Great write-up; how apt! But the last part has soMe mistakes, probably typographical? “At this stage, you help everyone you can wear the prospering.” Can you please correct that part and let us know? Thanx. Great work!
Demetries Moore-Drye says
This site gets better with each article. I love it!!
vivian masai says
Good stuff. Thank you. And thank you Lamar and Ronnie for all that you do in support of marriage.
Lamar Tyler says
We agree, Jackie did an awesome job on this article. And we want to thank you for supporting the site. We don’t take it for granted that there are millions of other sites that you could spend your time on. God Bless you and your marriage.
Lauren Johnson says
Great article! That’s why I firmly believe in living with a person for at least a month or two before marriage( according to Church folk –shakin’ up). I see nothing ‘sinful’ about it because you get to know all of the quirks of your mate before you step into commitment for life. I think this is also a must for blended families. I’m glad I lived with my hubby beforehand because I know all of him –the wonderful good, bad and ugly as well he does knowing me. We are able to handle each other with understanding that we together for eternity no matter what.
Not to sound negative, however many men will ask, what happened to the 8th ring, suffeRING? Somewhere between discoveRING, and perseveRING, enduring suffering, especially when the very foundation of the marriage has come into question, can determine what, if any rings are worn beyond that point. Thoughts?
So what happens when you are still in love with you husband and he overtly tells you he doesn’t want you anymore, because he wasn’t ready and verbally, emotionally abuses you to the point where your broken, should I still hold on :0(…what makes things worse is that I am an affectionate, really affectionate person, so I need his hugs, I crave his kisses, I just enjoy being in his presence. what do I do then
This is a very sad situation. You are at a point where you forgot your self-worth! You are a beautiful woman who deserves to be hugged, kissed, and told that you are loved every single day. You have been sitting quietly allowing your man to treat you like trash. This is not acceptable. I’m sure you have love for him, but with no respect, then your ‘marriage’ has no real support. I’m sure you probably do everything for him; cook for him, have sex whenever he wants to, clean up after him, etc. That’s the only reason he’s keeping you around. He is selfish, and has his own anger issues. You need to LEAVE him!! Not only will you benefit from your time that you will be taking for yourself, to find yourself; but he will also realize your value. Don’t call him! Don’t see him! Just take your time, think about your own life goals and plans that have nothing to do with him, and begin to pursue them.
Please hear my words, girl: “The best investment is yourself.”
Give thanks to God for his blessings. Sometimes the greatest of life’s blessings come disguised as misfortune.
I do not agree you should leave him, but within the marriage, it’s time to focus on YOU. Go back to school, cook for only you, stop having sex, and don’t pick up after him. Start going out with girlfriends and start enjoying your life. You are being taken for granted. It’s time to flip it so he’s reminded of what he’s missing.
YouTube Mr. & Mrs. It’s a Nigerian movie. Lots of valuable lessons
Like the previous writer said yes I do everything for him and I enjoy it, but asking me not saying I should only cook for myself or not clean-up will only cause me to suffer more to see a dirty unorganized house etc….because he can then say ok fine Ill stop help with HW, or paying the bill etc. I will say however, I am starting to focus on me more I cant lie though its such a lonely, road and at times I get weak, and in general I am a really strong person ( I really don’t know where it turned)I just started my own business, and I cant even concentrate fully on it like I need to be doing to expand it because I want to make sure home is taken care of, I wanted to share this experience and new way of life with him. Just trying to do my part so that if or when it does end Im not punished by GOD. I just want to be happy man- I really do I just want to be loved, and love others. Im not insecure or anything like that, I am beautiful inside and out-Ive been asking GOD to walk in front of me and guide my steps and I just cant seem to sharpen my focus. On the outside looking in you’d swear I have it all together, but Im so deeply hurt. But I still appreciate and thank you for your inputs.. Just please ALL Pray for me, if you can just find one moment in your prayer to pray for me by name I would really appreciate it. Thank you so much
It’s not a normal practice for me to comment on public forums like this; however, I was drawn to your post … your cry for help! And, since I know the power I have to pray in the spirit, I did just that for you – because you specifically asked. IMMEDIATELY I heard to ask: Is your husband your idol?
Marriage is honorable before God. An institution He created to model the covenantal relationship Christ and the Church … both His beloved. And, yet, before there is “two” (in the marital sense) there is a one … a personal, intimate relationship with the Father that takes precedence over any and all. It is only right! Your value, significance, love, identity is rooted and grounded in Him first. Everything else becomes an extension of that. Making it totally impossible for ANYONE or ANYTHING to effect your state of well being!
You sound like you are in distress. But, those who truly walk by faith and put into practice the POWER of God’s word, know we are called to be IMMOVABLE, ALWAYS ABOUNDING, FULL OF JOY … maybe once you get back to building the FOUNDATION of WHO you are and WHAT you believe, then you discover a strength to persevere this season of your marriage.
God is able to do ALL things when you “seek ye first the kingdom…” ; and, that begins with setting your HOUSE (your own PERSONHOOD) in order!
This is a great article and I relate totally. I just joined a couple weeks ago and I am so far in. Thank you for your help!!
I Love this and i’m going to use these since i’m getting married in 5mos this will help my marriage grow.
Lucretia Doyle says
I love this article looking foward into getting married soon. I’m in a committed relationship and looking foward to the engagement plus the wedding and marriage
I believe if you keep God first in your relationship everything else will fall in place
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