Last week I had the extreme pleasure of creating and facilitating the first event of the marriage ministry at my church. After much prayer and planning I decided a couple’s picnic would be fitting. It’s summertime, so what’s better than grabbing your blanket, picnic basket and each other and spending a day of fun together?
I opened the event by having the couples each introduce their mate with positive affirmations. Listening to how each partner felt about their spouse moved me to tears. The part I enjoyed the most was watching the faces of the spouses as they listened to their introduction. I could quickly tell the words being expressed, while appreciated at the moment, weren’t said often enough. That was true even for me and my husband. With the busyness of life, we occasionally forget to remind one another how great we think the other is. So my first takeaway was to frequently remind my husband how amazing I think he is and how blessed I feel being married to him.
After the introductions we were geared up to have some fun. The games planned allowed the couples to connect and work together as a team. They all jumped at the opportunity. Another joy of mine was observing the couples as they brainstormed, strategized and simply communicated with one another. Usually when couples are planning it is in regards to finances or other family matters. It was refreshing to see the couples put their minds together on something entertaining. My second takeaway was a reminder to carve time out of our lives to enjoy one another.
Following the games was a little bit of time for a relationship discussion. It was purposely scheduled for the end of the event. We had a great mix of couples, those who were newlywed and those married over 20 years. We were all open and able to easily connect with one another. The amount of wisdom shared was immeasurable. The conversation was amazing and I quickly learned the couples wanted more time for discussion. My third takeaway was couples want to talk about their marriages and relationships with other couples. There is an opportunity for sharing, learning and healing in this setting.
At the conclusion of the picnic all couples were given a miniature picnic basket as a party favor. These baskets were filled with blank strips of paper. The idea behind it was to encourage couples to make time for fun. They could fill out those blank pieces of paper with things they would like to do together as a couple. The strips could be filled with restaurants they would like to try, vacations they would enjoy taking or any other activities they were excited about. Seeing the eagerness in the eyes of the attendees assured me they were really ready to get started on that project. My fourth takeaway was that couples need new ideas to add to their marriage and we can borrow those from one another.
The benefit for me in all of this is that the couples needed this time to reconnect and the opportunity to learn from others. I immediately felt the positive energy. The idea of doing something to strengthen our marriages is exciting. Being in an environment with other couples who also desire the best for their marriage is contagious. It encourages us to give more and love harder. Seeing couples leaving the event holding hands put a smile on my face and an excitement in my heart. It further confirmed I am fulfilling my mission and that there are immediate benefits in spending time with other couples.
Are you active in your church’s marriage ministry? Do you double date with other couples? How often do you get to spend time with other couples?
Louis & Angelon Nelson says
Hi,
My beautiful wife and I serve as leaders of our church’s Christian Couples Ministry along with another couple. This is our first year in serving and we are really enjoying it. I loved your article and sounds like you really did a great job. We would like to do something like this with our couples picnic as well. We usually just have a cookout and the kids would run around and play or swim, but your idea of the games does sound intriguing !
We usually get together at least once a quarter for “couples night” where we would go out to diner, movie, or bowling just to have time to fellowship together as couples, which we enjoy very much.
Thanks for sharing and maybe you can share the games that you guys played 🙂
Be Blessed
Tiya says
Thanks for sharing. Yes, I pulled a few games from online. The first was called “Find Your Mate” I thought of foods that are usually paired together like salt & pepper, peanut butter and jelly, peaches and cream, bacon & eggs etc. and put one of those items on the back of the husbands (without the wives seeing) and together the couple had to mingle with other couples asking yes or no questions only to figure out what they were. Once they thought they knew what food they were, they could then go to a table where I had the mate to their item. First couple to guess who they are and pick the correct mate wins. Another game I had was called “Complete the Sentence” spouses had to answer how they thought their spouse would answer. So I created sheets with about 5 questions like “my mate loves when I cook _________ Or If we won the lottery the first thing my spouse would do is_________ Or my spouse’s favorite scripture is ________________” The couple with the most number correct wins. The last game was called “Human Scrabble” I selected words that were relative to relationships like Marriages, Submission, Friendship, Partnership and scrambled them up (using index cardss) couples had to see how many words they could create (in 2 minutes) with the letters receiving extra bonnus points if they uncovered the word that used all the letters. We then had a discussion on the importance of each of those words in our marriages.
Reds1477 says
Tiya, these sound fun.
I’m happy the church I attend now has a couples ministry..now if we can get it rocking and rolling it’ll be awesome. I’m still fairly new to the area and all my family/friends are up north, so having a couples ministry has been one of many new blessings 🙂
We are having our couples conference this Friday and a fashion show next month. You just gave me wonderful ideas to bring to our next “cuddles” meeting. Thank you 🙂
Gary Henderson says
How about a ski vacation with your favorite couple friends. Check out The Rustic Inn in Jackson Hole. It’s a beautiful property with amazing amenities.
Tiya says
Thank you Gary, a ski vacation sounds like a lot of fun!
Jaye B. says
Tiya, great article, I regret that Keesha and I missed it….(had to work of course). I think it’s an excellent idea for married couples to bond and spend time together. I believe that it provides positive energy that can shared among all involved. Continue to keep us in mind when you have the next event. Thank you for the invite.
Tiya says
Thanks Jaye! We did miss you guys too, but there will be plenty of events. I will make sure to give Keesha advance notice too.
Csw14324 says
Sounds fun, what type of games did you play?
Briana Myricks says
That sounds like such a fun event! I would love to be part of a church’s marriage ministry. We’re currently between churches right now, and neither one has a marriage ministry. I think that would definitely help us out.
Tiya says
Briana, it was a great time. In the meantime as you search for your church home, you can start your own ministry amongst other married couples in your circle. It would be a lot of fun and great way to encourage other couples.
Lamar says
Uh-oh we have another church marriage ministry to hang with in Chicago now LOL
Tiya says
Absolutely Lamar, next time you and Ronnie are in town you must join us!
Wife4Life says
Hi Tiya,
Love your posts. I noticed Lamar said Chicago, which church home do you worship with?
Tiya says
Hello Wife4Life, my apology in the delayed response. I attend Family of Faith Community Church in the Ashburn area.
shey baby says
Hi Tiya, This is Shey i am so loving your awesome marriage ministry. i would love for our church to have a marriage ministry. What would i need to do to become certifield i would love to help our married couples in our church. I have been married to the same man for 28 years we have two daughters one 26 and the other is 18. We are very happy, and enjoying our empty nest. I thank God, for Black and Married with Kids
Tiya says
Hi Shey, 28 years of marriage??? You are already certified and qualified! 🙂 I received my coaching certification through Ipec Coaching. A great place to start is the International Coaching Federation. They list all of the accredited coaching programs. God Bless!
Phyllis Lipford says
Reading your blog was inspiring for me. My husband and I have facilitated the Marriage Ministry at our chur h for the past three years. Lack of participation has been discouraging and this year we haven’t done anything. My thought was to intentionally not plan anything and see if anyone would ask about the ministry as an indication of interest; unfortunately no one has which leads me to believe there is no interest. We’ve enjoyed several teaching and social events in the past. I know the ministry Is vital and needful. Godspeed with the ministry at your church.