Most of the time when people talk about taking a risk and stepping outside of their comfort zone, it is often times related to business/career goals. But when was the last time you took a risk on love? When is the last time you took a step way outside of your comfort zone all in the name of love? I’m not talking about sending a cutesy text or publishing a profile on a dating website. I’m talking about the kind of risk that makes your heart explode through your chest; the kind that makes you forget to stop breathing; the kind that makes you think you just might die if you proceed with said risk.
Well I definitely felt ALL of these things when I took the biggest love risk of my life. I have always loved the month of April, for the simple fact that I get to celebrate my birthday…all month long! But I will never forget April 11, 1999. It was the day that my boyfriend (now hubby extraordinaire) asked me to be his girlfriend. I couldn’t even put into words how happy I was that day. But see, it was the ultimate risk I had taken in April the year before that opened up the door for this question to be asked in the first place.
Let me go back and bit and say that we went to the same high school, him graduating a year before me. Even after he graduated, we continued to keep in touch. I always had a crush on him in high school, but allowed other losers to cloud my vision. He was the guy that everyone liked and was drawn to because he was just a cool guy…and naturally funny (and he still has me in stitches all the time). So although I was crushed that he didn’t ask me to his prom (although in hindsight…I’m really not sure why I ever thought that he would. LOL), I knew there was only one person I wanted to take to my prom. I knew that if I didn’t go with him, then I wasn’t going to go…and heck, it wasn’t like I had guys banging down my door to ask me anyway. LOL.
My prom was May 12, 1999 (I think), and I was so scared to ask him that I literally pushed it off until the last minute (as in the very end of April). I kept trying to come up with a plan B for the “What if he says no?” question. It finally got to the point that a very good friend of mine got tired of me stressing about it, and pretty much had to threaten me to pick up the phone and ask him. I don’t even remember what I said, but my gosh I wanted to about die when he answered the phone that day. I don’t know how I managed to stumble through my words or even hear an answer over the pounding of my own heart, but I did. And he said yes, without any hesitation. I played it cool only until we hung up the phone. But then I immediately called my girlfriend screaming “He said yes! He said yes!”.
From the time he took me to prom, until the day he asked me to be his girlfriend (or as I say, the day he came to his senses) our friendship grew deeper. When I went away to college that summer, we kept in touch very often, most times by writing letters back and forth (real letters…you know, the kind that involve a pen, paper and a stamp) which I still love to look back on. It was during a weekend visit home from school, that he popped that sweet question to me. And like they say…the rest is history.
So after 19 years of friendship (Yikes!), and almost 8 years of marriage, I often wonder what would’ve happened if I hadn’t taken that risk? Let’s not get it twisted: me asking him to my prom? Asking any guy to go out anywhere for that matter, was a huge risk for me at that time! But I thank God because it has definitely resulted in the most rewarding and amazing risk of my life. It resulted in a lifetime of happiness and some adorable offspring. I would’ve definitely done it a hundred times over again.
BMWK: When was the last time you took a risk on love? Or what was the love risk you took that changed your life for the better?
Great story. Thanks for sharing Christine.
Thanks so much Lamar! I still can’t believe it’s my story 🙂
I call my love risk my campaign of love. It all started with a card. I purchased it and wondered if I could be shun the stereotypical comments of others long enough to build up the courage to give it to my crush. The funny part is I am 30 years old. I sent the card to my crush by way of a friend, signed your secret admirer. Needless to say I got mixed opinions of my actions, but me being me I took it all in stride. I continue to send him little gifts of affection. I realized that this has been fun. Though he has not responded much and I am sure he is aware it is me, it has renewed in me hope for the kind of love and romance I desire to one day share. What do all think?
I applaud your courage & boldness to step outside the box of tradition! Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. but it nevertheless in the words of my sister; nothing beats a failure but a try. I believe that by him not responding to your campaign of love, it’s his loss and the one that God will place in your life’s gain. He’s preparing “him” for you and “you” for him. I’ve done it and in my case it worked. My husband and I have been together 26yrs this year. So don’t lose hope and don’t stop doing what makes YOU feel good! It will be appreciated someday!!!
Hi T,
Thanks so much for sharing here. I couldn’t have said it better than C did. But I guess you just need to ask yourself how much bigger of a risk are you willing to take? Either way, I hope it works out exactly as it’s supposed to.
Such a wonderful story. I have taken a love risk myself and it was the best decision I ever made. My now husband and I began dating when I was in high school and we dated for 5 years. But because I was so young I realized I needed to find myself and decided to break off our relationship. Five years after we broke up I knew I was still in love with him. We reconnected and have been married for 5 years now. Two of the best decisions I’ve made was to take the time to learn about myself, the other was to swallow my pride and admit he was the absolute love of my life.
Such a wonderful story. I have taken a love risk myself and it was the best decision I ever made. My now husband and I began dating when I was in high school and we dated for 5 years. But because I was so young I realized I needed to find myself and decided to break off our relationship. Five years after we broke up I knew I was still in love with him. We reconnected and have been married for 5 years now. Two of the best decisions I’ve made was to take the time to learn about myself, the other was to swallow my pride and admit he was the absolute love of my life.
I have a similar story. I moved my senior year to a small Midwestern town that was 99% rural white kids. I only knew one guy, the other black guy named Dave. So I decided to ask him to prom, even though we weren’t close. I knew that i couldnt go to prom any other way. I didn’t know anyone else since I just started that school in August. I took a big risk. I prayed, trusted God, put on my favorite blue blouse and mustered up the courage to do it.
He just got up and walked away when I asked. I went home and cried.
So despite my couragous, faith-filled, risk taking leap, I didn’t get to go to prom.
I’ll never have a senior prom.
It’s a fact that still saddens me 13 years later.
Also, @ T , stop sending that guy gifts. Clearly he’s not interested in you.
I have a similar story about my prom too, so I understand how you feel, and it does affect you to a degree even many years later. Rejection can be hard to deal with, especially when you have dealt with so much of it in your life.
I kept smiling reading this because its so cute, I met my husband at an amusement park and right away I knew we would be together. We have been together since 98 and will be married 10 years this August!! I took a risk on love to change my career at the time and move to another state with him to start our lives and it was scary not knowing what would happen, but trusting that our love and support for each other will see us through, Its the best decision I made and I’m so so glad I did! I have my beautiful son and a beautiful home. I would not change a thing.
Thanks for sharing Chrissy I loved this!;)
I’m so glad you shared this again as I somehow missed it the 1st time around. Thanks sis for sharing this beautiful story and may God continue to bless your love