By Edward C. Lee
Ok, I won’t be repeating the H-word from the title, it hurts just looking at it. But I think all of us can look back to some point in our relationship with our mother and remember thoughts or expressions of… dislike for mom’s expression of love toward us.
My mother has always been supportive, caring, compassionate and just an all around great mom. She never missed a practice, game or parent teacher conference. Nor did she ever slack on a hot breakfast on cold mornings, or a Thanksgiving sized turkey on any given Sunday – just because.
But in all the love that a mother gives to us her children, there are times when her rules and decisions are just not cool. My main gripe with my mom growing up was that she just did not understand how things worked. Prime example: when I was about 10 my best friend and I decided we were going to play basketball for the UNC Tarheels and then on the NBA. So I needed to play basketball all day every day.
I would hit the courts about 7 a.m. to work on my jump shot until about noon. Hit the store around the corner for a half gallon of sweet tea and a extra large Philly cheesesteak with extra hot peppers (an authentic one – no lettuce or mayo, yuck) then back to work that jumper… Perfection of my basketball skills was a full-time summer job at that time.
But my mom just did not get it! This mother had the audacity to insist that I be home by 4 to spend time with the family, do household chores, eat dinner with the family. Then the real kicker – after dinner I would have to read a book and work on handwriting, and math flashcards, as I could hear the other kids in the neighborhood, having fun. What a mean mother! Minus the 8-10 hours of shooting hoops she never let’s me do anything! What do I need to read these stupid books for, and who cares what my handwriting looks like, and math flashcards… just let me get to the court, cause the big boys get there about 6 and I want to be ready.
Thirty years later I say, “Thanks, Mom!” You let me rule the basketball courts in my day. But when I got to college they asked if I was the next Michael Jordan, and since I wasn’t, all that boring stuff you made me do in the summer came in handy. Who knew I would go to college for a degree instead of a National Championship. That I would actually work in the corporate world and need all that stuff?
I still have the meanest cross over in the over 40-year-old basketball league but more importantly you made me have skills to make a living today and provide for your grandkids and generations to come. So to tough mom’s everywhere, your kids might “not like you today.” But from a thankful son, be encouraged, don’t stop being mom, make the plan, work the plan, stay tough in love, compassionate in discipline and fervent in faith.
May God Bless you and keep you on your journey. Happy Mother’s Day!
BMWK, as you look at where you are today, are you thankful for the rules and discipline of a faithful mother?
Edward is an Ordained Minister, host of the blog: elevateyourmarriage.com and Author of two first of their kind marriage books, Husbands, Wives, God: Introducing the Marriages of the Bible to Your Marriage and his new book, Husbands, Wives, God – Weekly Devotions: 52 Weeks of Relationship Enriching Devotions. Follow Edward on his blog or on Facebook at Husbands, Wives, God.
Ronnie_BMWK says
This is so awesome and so true. It’s seems as if our moms just don’t understand…but they are actually quite wise. Now that I am a mom….I can totally relate. I am the “bad guy” now.
TheMrs says
I hate to admit this but last year I called my mother and apologized for my teen years….Like the author said, she just didn’t get it and I placed that on the fact that I had older parents(mom was 30 and dad was 53 when I was born) and I was their only daughter. Fastforward some years and I kind of get some of what they were saying, I’m not taking it all back(lol).
So far my kids think I am a pretty cool mom(this means alot when your oldest daughter is about to turn 13 in a couple months) but I have my days.
Kidzncolour says
My mom always would tell me ….God gave you something better than a friend ….He gave you a momma….didn’t understand those words until friends became wishy washy when I needed help….wouldn’t complain when I called in the wee hours of morning crying about stupid stuff like my friends….or send me her very last so that I could have extra while away at college unlike my friends who would say girl you must be out your mind this is my last….Thank God she wasn’t my friend but my momma!
Anonymous says
You are so right, how do mom’s just know what to do like that?
Reggie Williams says
Slam Dunk Ed. Love your post (pun intended) and I gotta check out the ankle breakers. When she reads this she going to feel all warm inside cuz her baby done hit the big shot. :-).
Discussion King says
Nice post Ed. Thanks for the reminder.
starr says
You are not lying. My mother did some crazy stuff back in the days too. One of her ways of punishing me was to take all my jewelry away from me. What the hell I was supposed to do with out my earrings. Lol.
Kristen R Harris says
I LOVE this! Thanks for encouraging all us tough moms! It does indeed pay off!