To My Husband,
by Tanya Barnett
I want to first start off by publicly apologizing to you for not respecting you when you deserved my respect and so much more.
Watching the news about the recent murders got me twisted, babe. I have to be honest and say that I am even a bit ashamed of myself. Here I am, all emotional, tore up and angry because police officers took yet another black man’s life. They not only had no respect for our brothers’ lives, but they also had total disregard.
Immediately, God arrested me in my moment of disgust. He clearly showed me how I have been no different: I just didn’t use a gun as my weapon of choice.
Here I was indignant that these men were murdered, but I murdered your spirit with my hateful words. Here I was upset that these men didn’t get a chance to speak up for themselves, yet, I’ve walked away from conversations without giving you a chance to speak your mind.
Countless times, I immediately assumed the worse of you and in those moments, disrespected you with my words and actions and purposefully shut you down with my sharp tongue. Other times, I called you names, degraded you and even said things I knew would hurt you to your core. I was careless in how I treated you. I punished you with no sex. I embarrassed you in front of friends and family.
No, I didn’t use bullets to hurt and maim you, but my poison was just as damaging and deadly.
So, TODAY, I promise to support and uplift you! I promise to pray for you! I promise to listen to your concerns, your hurts and your fears without trying to FIX YOU! I realize, that’s not my job; my job is to love you unconditionally.
I pray that you will forgive me and that we can forge together to raise our BLACK SON to be a loving BLACK HUSBAND just like you.
Tanya Barnett works tirelessly to inspire, motivate and encourage women and girls who are dealing with challenging life issues to embrace all of who they are. She is also the founder of Forever Free Books, a mobile nonprofit that delivers free books to children in need. She is an avid reader, aspiring author and loves to garden. She and her husband have three children and a dog. Follow her on Facebook / Instagram / Twitter /PER: @TanyasXchange