Every woman is taught that everything is fine with your pregnancy once you make it past the first trimester. My name is Donnie Smith and I’m a wife, High School English Teacher, scrapbooker and a stepmother. I’m also a dreamer, a planner and a recovering worry addict. My husband Che “Rhymefest” Smith is a grammy-award winning writer, hip hop artist and a community activist. He is also a dreamer, more of a mental planner (can’t really blame him! He freestyles and started out as a battle rapper) and he often has the antidote – a hug or a kind word for my worry. On paper we’re an unlikely pair, but once you see us together it all makes sense.
We decided in the summer of 2011 that we were ready to have our first child together. He was in California for work. He and I had just finished our goodnight call. It was about 3:00 a.m. and something inside told me to take a pregnancy test. After sluggishly walking into the bathroom and laying back in bed, I nonchalantly went to check on the test, after all, I had been told about a month prior that I wasn’t pregnant after about a week of morning sickness.
My Clear Blue Digital test disagreed with the nurse indicating yes I was “pregnant” and I started jumping up and down and frantically called Che.
My Clear Blue Digital test disagreed with the nurse indicating yes I was “pregnant” and I started jumping up and down and frantically called Che. He was delighted about the news. We eagerly started flinging baby names at each other. My husband asked how I was feeling and we began discussing how our lives would need to be adjusted to the fact that I was carrying life for the first time.
Within the first few months I seemed to have covered all of the basics. We picked the names – Biko – after the South African Revolutionary Steven Biko. Revolutionary names are a tradition in my husband’s family. We heard the heart beat. I cried. We recorded it. Che wanted to incorporate the heartbeat into one of his songs. My best friend came over to the house to discuss the details of the baby shower… venue… color swaps for table cloths… refreshments. Finally, we chose a date for the shower.
For me – information is the best way to get over fear and worry. So I devoured all of the pregnancy guidebooks. I took my pre-natal vitamins, showed up early to all of my monthly appointments and posted the news on my Facebook as I soon as I hit the 8 week mark. My job secured a maternity leave sub for me. I started showing pretty early so most of my closet was filled with maternity clothes.
No one or nothing could prepare me for the events that would occur on December 9, 2011 when my world fell apart…
Check back every other Wednesday for additional articles in this new series from Donnie Smith – “The Road to Reproduction” as she chronicles her journey to child birth. View previous articles here.
Wow, I am all to familiar with this. Lost two boys in my 3rd trimester. No heartbeat. I almost lost my mind. The Doctors said that I was unable to have anymore children because I had “antibodies” that rejected the fetus. Wel GOD said stick with me I got the last word. I gave birth to a 6lb 15oz babygirl named Janiah Lynn on 8/23/12 🙂
Donnie Smith says
Jennifer, congratulations on the birth of your rainbow baby Janiah Lynn and thank goodness faith was there to bridge the gap between what the doctors were telling you vs. what God was telling you. Thanks for sharing your encouraging story!
so glad to see bmwk dealing with this topic! 🙂 thanks for sharing, mrs smith!
whoops, pls delete this first one – i meant to include relevant web link in name.
so glad to see bmwk dealing with this topic! thanks for sharing, mrs smith!
Donnie Smith says
Thanks for reading Mochazina! There are 6.1 MILLION American woman who have trouble either getting or staying pregnant. It is time that we break our silence 😉
Donnie, thanks for sharing your journey. I can’t wait to read the rest of your story.
Donnie Smith says
Thanks for commenting Tiya and I appreciate your comment. Hugs 😉
I agree it is rime we do break the silence. I too lost a baby my middle child a boy. I thought thata my life wasover but with prayer and determination I gave birth to a bbeautiful babygirl august of last year. So please hang in there do your reseach. You are your own advocate.
I’m so sorry Donnie. I have a 22 yr old and 7/8 mc under my belt,some far more traumatic than others but mc none the less. I know what God can do. After my last mc in 2010 and several shortly after in 2011,I just asked God to not let me get pregnant again. The pain was to much for me and my daughter,who’d always wanted a sibling was devastated every time. God honored my wish and held my womb…until march 2012 when I took a test and confirmed I was pregnant. Again. Well I’m happy to let you know I know have a 22 yr old and an 8month old;-) my son Dodger Immanuel came into the world Oct 6,2012 happy and healthy. At 42 I thought it was to late,but God didn’t and if hell do it for me…=)
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